Apr 03 2011 14 mins 19
No need to go through all the trouble and expense of seeing a doctor when you can perform simple medical procedures at home all by yourself. If your ears get clogged simply run down to the Lesbian Hippie drugstore and pick up some ear candles. Torch them on the kitchen stove until the flames are at least 6 inches high and then run through the house, lay down on the couch and stuff it in your ear. Wait for your hair, the sofa and the rest of the house to catch fire.
