From Suicidal Thoughts to an Amazing Life Far Beyond My Wildest Dreams


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Jun 03 2019 54 mins  

Today, I live a life far beyond my wildest dreams, but it wasn't always this amazing. In 2016, I started having suicidal thoughts that started with, "I don't want to be here." In just 3 short weeks, those thoughts got much, much worse. I didn't know what to do, or where to turn. This is my story, during a week that marks the 1 year anniversary of Kate Spade's passing. Friends, approximately 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. (46.6 million) will experience mental illness THIS YEAR alone. The time of sweeping our stories under-the-rug, hiding them away so no one can see our imperfections -- that time is gone. It's time for all of us to start sharing our mental health stories so that others can realize that they're not alone in what they're struggling with, and so that they can get the help they need.

If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts or even thoughts of "not wanting to be here", I'm asking you to put down your device and go get help right now. Go to the hospital and be honest with them about how you're feeling so that they can get you the help you need.

Sometimes Spirit can crack our life open, break it even, so that we can rebuild it the way we want it. It's that rebuilding process that is beautiful. I've rebuilt my life in a co-creation process with God. Today, I have the career I've always dreamed of, I get to help people on a deep level every day; I have the marriage that I always wanted and fall more-and-more in love with him each day (which I didn't even know was possible, but let me tell you, it is!); I have the family life and balance I've always wanted. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying my life is perfect. Life is not perfect for anyone (including CEO's, Queens, or celebrities). But I love my life exactly the way it is now (flaws and all). Building my life up to this point took hard work, but the work was so worth it . . . and I know if I can get to this place in life, anyone can. There is always hope!

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