Nightcaps at the Theater

Oct 21 2020 97 mins

The time has come! We have arrived! Step inside ladies and gentleman! Pour yourself a drink, take a seat, and settle down to watch and/or discuss a movie with two average guys...who, rest assured, almost never know what they are talking about. Yet another in the long line of film podcasts, we hope that we can entertain you with our boozy delusions and snarky commentary on some of cinema's greatest treasures and most spectacular flops.







Episode 67: Kill Bill: Volume 1
Sep 29 2020 111 mins  
Our name is Nightcaps at the Theater and we’re here to party. Just before we head off into the spooky season, we have to make a pitstop in Okinawa to pick up Hattori Hanzo steel. With Kill Bill: Volume 1 we seek out our red-tinted vengeance against The Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, all while severing arms, heads, and dancing to the 5,6,7,8's. Part 1 of this bloody affair really makes us want to wiggle our big toes. If you have anything else to say now if the f&*kin time! Bang, Bang! This podcast shot us down. Charlie Brown lookalikes recommend you rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher, Podbean, Apple Podcasts, and More! That’s what you get for f*^king around with the Yakuza! Go home to your mother! Tonight, on the Marquee: Silly podcast hosts like to watch Kill Bill: Volume 1 Can’t Whistle…Matt Got Ya. Take a Shot for Every “Foot Shot” or “Iconic/Homage” Kill Bill X Chicago Trauma. Deadly Viper Assassination Squad Names. Post Corona Greetings…Revenge! Oren X Beatrix BFFs. Got ______ Like Uma Thurman. Matt Cabrera’s 72 Hour Swords. Graceful Badass. Charlie Brown. Gratuitous Amounts of Violence, Poor Little Axe Guy. “Blank Check and Paper Little Rascals Bonds!” “B*&ches = “Ruffly Half of Dogs.” “Not on Your Life…No” – The Whole Bloody Affair. “Why not Cap it Off” – Nightcaps Mantra. “Please Use My Pussy Wagon!” “Klingon Proverbs from Slithering Slick.” – Matt Joins the DVAS. “Love Him and His Feats.” “Waiting for the Moment to Kill”- Jonathan Waiting to Kill. “No Blood on the Udon Bowl.” “Pizza is a Commodity.” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G



Amuse Bouche: September 19th 2020
Sep 20 2020 160 mins  
“Amuse-Bouche” – September 19th ,2020 It’s a smorgasbord on tonight’s Amuse Bouche, our longest yet, but don’t let that deter you! Jonathan, Mark, and Matt are back to share what pop culture they have experienced over the summer. Nightcaps at the Theater returns to visit “Wacky/Silly Town.” Right in between Flavor and Lazy Town, that is where you’ll find us. If we jump the shark and go overtime, don’t blame us. Or we will give you a thrashing. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly? Which host is which? Don’t drop out of t Kindergarten! Rate, review, subscribe, and listen on Podbean, iTunes, Stitcher. Trust, our gills are portrayed by Patton Oswald. Kick Flip ya way to Flavor Town! Gas, Gas, Gas, Step on the Gas! Tonight, on the Marquee: Shut Up Weeb! – King of the Hill, Infinity Train, Harley Quinn, Transformers: War for Cybertron, Aggretsuko, Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, & Pokémon: Sun & Moon. T.V. Court – The Sopranos, NOS4A2, Pen15, RuPaul’s Drag Race Canada/Netherlands, Ratched, Lovecraft Country, John Oliver: Last Week Tonight, High Score, & The Boys. Movie Phone – Mulan, I’m Thinking of Ending Things, Unpregnant, Pennies from Heaven, The Baby Sitter: Killer Queen, Double Platinum, Doctor Sleep. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, The Karate Kid (1984), Mean Streets, Stand and Deliver, Pride & Prejudice, Shaft, Initial D, Moonlight, 5,100, The Vast of Night, Project Power, The Florida Project, The Devil All the Time, #Alive, & Cuties. Troddin the Boards – Hamilton Disc Jockeys – Chloe X Halle, Verzuz, Lady Gaga’s “911” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 66: Swiss Army Man
Sep 07 2020 112 mins  
(Fart Noise) Sorry…Pardon us…we just (Fart Noise) don’t know exactly where or who we are? (Fart Noise) Maybe you can help us, we used to be the hosts of a movie podcast entitled (Fart Noise) Nightcaps at the Theater …we don’t think we were the best movie recap podcast, but we sure had heart! Anyways we think we are (Fart Noise) watching the A24 joint Swiss Army Man, tonight. No volleyballs present. Please join us for a romantic journey (Fart Noise) signaling the end of the summer and (Fart Noise) pardon the smell, we really mean well. “Fart” Your Engines. Listen, rate, review, and subscribe to our musical and cultural podcast on Stitcher, Podbean, Apple Podcasts, and More! Word to the Wise Daniel Radcliffe makes an excellent “Multi-Purpose Tool Guy” Tonight, on the Marquee: Flatulence and Friendship? We Watch Swiss Army Man! Tom Hanks Adjacent, Breaking Matt’s Rule. Fart Your Engines. 4-D Fart Rumble. Daniel Radcliffe and the Real Daniel Radcliffe. Best Cold Open in Cinema? In Your Head or an Episode of GLEE? This Phone Doesn’t Exist. “Jack Shack.” B69s? Laura Dern. Boner Compass. Lil’ John Always There. Engineering Degree. Indie Drivel and Animatronic Bears. Not on the Newark Bus! A “Faht.” And Too Much Crack? “Matthew Perry on the Pod.” “Turn Down for What.” – In Whispers. “A Movie that Stans Dans…” “Fartist Aspirations.” – Dream Big Kid. “Fart is Dead” – Nietzsche “Nightcaps Cares.” – Sure Jan. Filming a Mayo Commercial. “Thank God for Hostess.” “Would a Cork Stop a Fart?” – What has Jon Done? “70% Creepy 30% Charming.” “Scene From The Revenant.” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G




Episode 65: Fantasia
Aug 16 2020 112 mins  
Get the liquor and the weed out, and we will provide you with one Silly Symphony on tonight’s Nightcaps at the Theater. If you like suggestive hippos and dinosaurs getting iced to the tune of classical music, then tonight’s episode is for you, as we watch Disney’s 1940 classic Fantasia. With the movie that Matt deemed “a bore” can Jonathan win him over with the power of music and animation? For Dolby, or death do us part? What are you on? Listen, rate, review, and subscribe to our musical and cultural podcast on Stitcher, Podbean, Apple Podcasts, and More! That’s a fish! No, that’s a horse! Either way take a chance! Tonight, on the Marquee: Walt Disney shares his Symphony Sympathy in Fantasia. Drive Ins, Dives, and Dying. As Quick and Painful as I Can…Wasting Time Together. Without This, There May be No Dolby! The Decline of the West. Schwander the Bagpiper. Lazy Subtitles, Shape, Curvature, and Velocity. Disney Butts. The First Disney Live Action Remake Train wreck. Coding with Brooms. La Vie En Dinosaur/WorldStar. Best Little Centwhore House. THICC Well Built Animals. “Drew Barrymore as E.T.” “Who was Makin Anime Movies in 1940?” – I Bet it A’int Me! “Dick Huemer … yes, that is his name.” “These Aren’t Good Titles.” “It’s Almost Like Baby Driver.” “Are These Mushrooms Racist?” “Wet Ass Goldfish...Playing Koi.” “I Liked the Zeus Stuff…” “#FreetheNipple.” “Subsume?” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G




Episode 64: Rear Window
Aug 01 2020 109 mins  
Get out your binoculars and plaster casts, it’s time to spy on some of the neighbors. Nightcaps at the Theater is channeling our inner voyeur in Alfred Hitchcock’s 1954 mystery thriller Rear Window. What’s more intriguing then the lives that go on right in sight of your apartment window? Grace Kelly may look like a million bucks and have a lobster dinner all ready, but have you seen what those newlyweds are doing next door? You think anyone will notice this fourteen-foot camera lens I just bought? Ah, just swirl your brandy and look at all the lonely people. Are they playing that song? You know that one! Lisa! No…it’s just another episode of Nightcaps at the Theater. Well, while you are here don’t forget to listen, rate, review, and subscribe to our provocative little peeping tom of a podcast on Stitcher, Podbean, Apple Podcasts, and More! Tonight, on the Marquee: It Had to Be Murder …. Stop peeking! It’s Rear Window. Breaking the Nightcaps Inflation Calculator. Embracing Your Inner Voyeur. 1950s Fast Talking One Liners. Fish Heads and Rice? Don’t Joke About That! New Kinks Being Born. A Detective’s Hard Day At Work. Swirling Brandy: A Master Glass. Pregaming with Misses Lonely Hearts. Landlords…got that Sh*t Done. That One Song and View Masters. Not Stella’s First Murder. “Like a Fart in the Wind.” – Meme Culture “You need a Jimmy Stewart Impression to get on this podcast.” “Put that Camera Down!” Grace Kelly “too perfect” or Fight Club Operator. “It’s Lisa not Lizah!” “Didn’t Murder My Wife Laundry.” “This Dog’s Neck’s Been Snapped.” – Death of the Accomplice.” “Who Needs A Gun When You Got Flash Bulbs?” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Four Way” – William Ross Chernoff's Nomads




Episode 63: Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
Jul 04 2020 150 mins  
You got a Golden Ticket and you can finally step into Nightcaps at the Theater’s chocolaty recording studio! Tonight, Mark whisks us off to the land of Oompah Loompas and Snozzberries in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. The crazed chocolatier has a plan to find a pure protégé., but in order to benefit he has to bump off a few brats in the process. If you are a fan then settle in with a Scrumdiddlyumptous Wonka Bar. If you haven’t seen this one, don’t worry. You probably still know more of what to expect…when compared to the cast. Now, run home listener, as fast as you can to your nearest podcast platform and listen. There's no earthly way of knowing, which direction we are going, unless you decide to listen to our sweet little podcast on Podbean, iTunes, Stitcher, and More. Just like the candy man, you can make the sun rise, and sprinkle it with dew…just mind the chocolate river. Tonight, on the Marquee: Going over the Moon in Ecstasy with Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. How the Chocolate gets Made. In the Hotel Room with Roald Dahl. Chocolate Porn and Opal Uncut Gems. Candyman Bill says “The First Hit is Free.” Kindly Knife Tinkerer and Wonka’s Penchant for Poetry. The Gum is Still in Play. Dark Candy Timeline. ½ the Movie to Get to the Damn Chocolate Factory. I Can Feel It Running Down My Throat. Grandpa Joe Goin to Town on A Wall. How Unsafe was this Set? “America f*&cked up Guys.” “Nes tell… Mind the accent.” “The Kiss Before the Chip.” Hershey and Big Chocolate. “Ya Momma so Poor, She Can’t Afford Free Candy.” “Hey Cornelia, Sweetie.” “Calculating Percent LIVE.” “Jonathan Jaded for Winning the Prize of a Lifetime.” “Why is this Nightmare Riverboat Ride a Thing?” “Burp or Die.” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Hangover” by Dee Yan-Key





Episode 62: Gerald's Game
Jun 21 2020 101 mins  
What’s better than a little isolation? Well, us hosts here, at Nightcaps at the Theater don’t recommend kinky games with scumbags in the middle of nowhere…wait did you say Kobe Beef is involved…tempting, but no dice. Tonight, we look at Mike Flanagan’s Netflix adaptation of Daddy King’s Gerald’s Game. This movie will have you recall memories from a traumatic past, shiver violently at that Midnight Cowboy glancing at you from the dark corner of your room, and you can forget about sleeping … we got work to do pumpkin! It’ll be a Total Eclipse of the Heart but, Mr. Bright Eyes, please don’t turn around. Hey Mr. Sandman bring us a dream…and while you are at it don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe to us on Podbean, iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, etc! What are ya waitin for? The next eclipse? Tonight, on the Marquee: “I could get out of those handcuffs if I tried, Sure Jan.” We are watching Gerald’s Game. Not Kinky …” Kingy.” The Gerald’s Game with Lindsay Lohan and One Muppet. Why not Maine? Because… George Costanza as Jessie. Dog/Cat Eating Owner Time Limit. Break Me Off A Piece of that Flesh of Gerald’s Arm. The “Swing/Bench.” Suck Dem Toes. Daddy King and Joe as a Test Subject. Loving the “Degloving.” “Love Life…is the Same as it Was” “Jerry…Arnold…Stoop Kid’s Game.” “The Fact that Mike Flanagan didn’t do Pet Semetary.” – Jonathan was Gooped. “Hm.” - Matt’s Initial Review Cohen, Duffer, or Duplass? “What’s Reading?” Stephen King = Good Shit. “No Thank You, Not Interested.” – Moonlight Man Selling Time Shares. “ “I Don’t f*&ks with “Yeppers.” “Rosanne Barr Excuse.” Jonathan Drunkenly Explaining Ka. Scooby Says “Ru Ran Ru Rit!” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Amuse Bouche: June 13th 2020
Jun 14 2020 77 mins  
“Amuse-Bouche” – June 13th, 2020 Today we preach about the dangers of Warhammmer 40K, ultimate tag, and landmines on another Amuse-Bouche pop culture segment. We may still be in quarantine, but that can’t stop us from watching the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows. Pick your guts up off the floor! Artemis Fowl can’t be that bad…or can it? We are gonna need an extra bottle for this one. Th-that that don’t kill us, can only make us stranger. But a few new listeners certainly wouldn’t hurt. Please remember to rate, review, subscribe, and listen on Podbean, iTunes, Stitcher, and more! If you don’t leave this episode knowing what the Scoville Scale is, then we have failed you. Tonight, on the Marquee: Shut Up Weeb! – Cardcaptor Sakura, Warhammer 40k Ultra Marines, The Midnight Gospel, Akira, and Teasing Master Takagi-san T.V. Court – ABC Summer of Fun and Games, Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, Holey Moley, Ultimate Tag, Family Feud, To Tell the Truth, Don’t, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, King of the Hill, Rupaul’s Drag Race All Stars, Legendary, Killing Eve, At Home with Amy Sedaris, What We Do in the Shadows, Star Wars: Temple Challenge, and Dave Chappelle’s 8:46 Movie Phone – Brink of Life, Autumn Sonata, The Killing of a Sacred Deer, Da 5 Bloods, and Artemis Fowl. Troddin the Boards – N/A Disc Jockeys – Run the Jewels RTJ4 Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Four Way” – William Ross Chernoff's Nomads


Episode 61:Wall-E
Jun 13 2020 105 mins  
Put on your Sunday Clothes and get out your Buy and Serve brand Cupcake in a Cup! Tonight on Nightcaps at the Theater we are blasting off with the 2008 Pixar classic Wall-E. Where roaches never looked so lovable, big baby is the new dress code, and we can all romantically watch as the world burns. Support us on Podbean, iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and More. Can’t you agree we all work as hard as M-O? If you want to show your appreciation make sure you listen, rate, and subscribe to us on most podcasting platforms, we won’t forget your patronage when the robo-revolution/microwave uprising eventually comes. Tonight, on the Marquee: That darn little robot that could…it’s Wall-E! Pixar’s Sights and Sounds, in Space. Presto said “Bunny Rights!” Brooklyn hasn’t changed… Horses as Dogs or Roaches with Personality? The Nightcaps “Creamies.” Big Babies on Life Support. The Story of Sh*tbot. One Flew Over the Robot’s Nest. Computer Mice Mouse Bots the Wall-As. The Microwave Finally Gets Mark. “A Vast, Empty Desolate Wasteland…Does he mean Jersey?” “Plying the panda with Dumplings…” “Crying in the Self-Isolation Club.” ”What is that paper made of?” “That Robot F&*ks.” Bein a B*&tch, Eatin out of Cups.” “It was Supposed to be a 3 Hour Tour.” “I was Born in this Crib and I’ll Die in this Crib.” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Four Way” – William Ross Chernoff's Nomads


Amuse Bouche: May 30th 2020
May 30 2020 133 mins  
“Amuse-Bouche” – May 30th, 2020 Welcome, welcome, welcome to another Nightcaps at the Theater, sponsored Amuse-Bouche segment, where we are all the man who snuck into an AMC Theater to live out their intimate quarantine dreams. We do this podcast…for comedy, first and foremost…no relation to Fleetwood Mac’s “Rumors” album. We hope you join us with your animal heads, from your Casas De Papel, onCHROMATICA…. there we think we got every reference, please enjoy! The Microwave giveth and taketh away. Please remember to rate, review, subscribe, and listen on Podbean, iTunes, Stitcher, and more! Give us a godman doughnut and if you need a womb, we got one right here! “Don’t Just Stare at Me…Go!” Tonight, on the Marquee: Shut Up Weeb! – She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Magia Record: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story, Dorohedoro, and Avatar: The Last Airbender. T.V. Court – La Casa Del Papel/Money Heist, Community, Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, Holey Moley 2, To Tell the Truth, Celebrity: Family Feud, Match Game, Press Your Luck, The Wall, America’s Got Talent, The Masked Singer, What We Do In the Shadows, The Big Flower Fight, We’re Here, RPDR/RPCDR, At Home with Amy Sedaris, Killing Eve, The Great, The Gallery, and Space Force. Movie Phone – Hannah Gatsby’s Douglas, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Kimmy vs. The Reverend, Ghost Stories, Waiting Women, Hercules, Moana, The Lion King, Aladdin, The Love Birds, Hot Rod, and The Hustle. Troddin the Boards – Measure for Measure. Disc Jockeys – Petals for Armor, The 1975 Notes on a Conditional Form, Daoi Freyer’s “Think About Things”, Show Pony, and Chromatica Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Four Way” – William Ross Chernoff's Nomads


Episode 60: Looney Tunes:Back in Action
May 24 2020 99 mins  
Nightcaps at the Theater says that …that …that… that’s all folks with Looney Tunes: Back in Action! Our Netflix and Quarantine special continues with the energetic, frantic “spy” movie starring Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck…along with Brendan Fraser and Jenna Elfman…who…um…well…she’s in this too! All we can say is a few crucial tips. 1. “We coulda been watching Space Jam instead?” WTF! 2. Sell all our Warner Brother Stock…. 3. We got a hot tip; Nightcaps is a about to Die! And 4. Manje A Joe’s…Trust us, you’ll understand after listening. If you want to follow us just look into Area 52…of course we mean search at Podbean, iTunes, Stitcher, and More. Sufferin Succotash thanks for supporting our humble little podcast. Tonight, on the Marquee: A Long Stretch for a Shrek Reference…. it’s gotta be Looney Tunes: Back in Action. Brendan Fraser at Third Billing… The “Anti-Space Jam” according to Mark. The Looney Tunes Bugs F*&ks./ F#$k the Duck. Starring Heather Locklear for no F^&king Reason. Connection to Invasion of the Body Snatchers Instant Paree Transition. Granny on an Elephant/Tweety’s Kunta Kinte’s Backstory. Michael Jordan edited in from Space Jam. He and the Chairman Didn’t Do Anything. Low Budget Odie. Throwing a Beak? WTF!?! “This is Not Worth It…” Matt Cabrera on the Podcast. “Give the Boot to Groot.” “Inspiring Furries Everywhere.” Elmer Fudd’s Alcoholism … These Toons Weren’t Drinkin. Daffy vs. Donald. The Joe Dante Regulars. I Do Not Like Steve Martin…I Agree with My Mother” – Jonathan’s Creedo. “You’re Spoiling the Movie” – Our Podcast in A Nutshell. “Bugs is really Emoting.” “Gotta Pwese Our Dwark Mwasters.” – Elmer Fudd. Clearly Evil. “Not My Looney Tunes./I Discovered My Roots!” Looney Tunes= Kylo Ren. “Save Us Quibi!” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Hangover” by Dee Yan-Key




Episode 59: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
May 03 2020 129 mins  
We are Nightcaps at the Theater and we are here to watch movies, podcast and stuff! Hello again, friend of a friend, tonight get out your guitars and your Game Boys because we are watching 2010’s Scott Pilgrim vs. The World during our Social Netflixing Marathon. Don’t mind Jonathan butchering Brayan Lee O Malley’s name for the next two hours…we are obviously passionate about the film. Are you in “Lesbians” with us? If not, you are about to be. How many Matthews have you dated? That’s not so bad… Does Bread make you Fat? Yes…but you know what doesn’t rating, reviewing, and subscribing to us on Podbean, iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and more! Not that that is a bad thing, we would love to play Pacu - Pacu Man with you, no matter what. Tonight, on the Marquee: Did you hear? Scott Pilgrim and Mark are dating a high schooler in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World! Currently #175 in Japan! Genius = Matt Working on Bits. Michael Cera’s Body Count…a Baby Giraffe, Social Distancing Arcades. MEW Cinematography. Knives is a Gem. Amazon Geeky not “Techy.” r/Matt SubReddit. Foot For Quentin. Boss/Bass Battle. Fiona Not Ramona. “Woody Allen Impressions.” “Who’s Pegging?” – Mark is Asking. “From Fart to Star!” – Matt as Casting Agent. “I gotta pee om her.” “Matt’s never seen Sesame Street?” Fun Bar Tricks. Exploding int Loose Change. “She’s Like A Mood Ring.” “That’s “Mayonegg?” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G



Amuse Bouche: April 25th 2020
Apr 25 2020 97 mins  
Another Week, Another Amuse-Bouche Segment Sponsored by Nightcaps at the Theater. We watch pop culture so you don’t have to…but then again, isn’t it the only thing keeping us alive? Join us as one of oue smiling friends as Mark recaps the entirety of the Spy Kids franchise. What a World? In this episode you can expect a “Young Childish Gambino”, Improv Comedy, 10,000 hours of Drag Race and more. Its so Baaaaaaad, it’s good! What is “celebrity?” You’ll have to listen to find out! Who’s on first? Whorehouses don’t Sound Depressing. Unfortunately, we aren’t in 3-D. At All! Please Listen, Rate, Review, and Subscribe on iTunes, Podbean, Stitcher, and Spotify! Shut Up Weeb! – Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Smiling Friends, & The Midnight Gospel. T.V. Court – Better Call Saul, Community, Tiger King, Middleditch & Schwartz, The Outsider, Killing Eve, WestWorld, What We Do In The Shadows, RuPaul’s Drag Race Celebrity: Drag Race, Dragnificent!, We’re Here, & Anne with An “E.” Movie Phone – Finding Dory, Cinderella (1950), Sleeping Beauty (1959), McCabe and Mrs. Miller, Cries and Whispers, The Stepford Wives (1975), Onward, Spy Kids, Spy Kids: 2: The Island of Lost Dreams, Spy Kids: 3-D: Game Over, Spy Kids: All the Time in the World & The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D. Troddin the Boards – Beowulf. Disc Jockeys – Chromatica, Laura Marling, Wes Tank. And Fiona Apple: Fetch the Bolt Cutters. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 58: Lars and the Real Girl
Apr 18 2020 78 mins  
We wanna know what love is! This week’s Nightcaps at the Theater analyzes the quirky romantic joint, Lars and the Real Girl. Could it be a serial killer’s notion, or is this true love? This movie is not as weird as it seems, join as we discuss relationships, Real Dolls, and the attitude of sincerity. Shed you layers and accept your true feelings. Accept who you are who you choose to love! We here at Nightcaps, don’t ever judge. Support us on Podbean, iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and More. Hangout at our tree-house. L is for the listens you give the pod. O is for the only ones for us. V is very, very extraordinary. E is for Every Real Doll you enjoy! Tonight, on the Marquee: Mark is a fan of any Movie, Will he Be a Fan of Lars and the Real Girl? Going Against Our Own Theme. Ryan Gosling’s Introverted Nature. Gosling Turkey Neck. Surfs Up Tremors. Ed Gein Vibes. Bianca as A Pillar of Community. Margot’s Stupid Donkey Vest! What Kinda Chip Man Are You?” Let Bianca Do What She Want! A First Kiss. In Two Takes. Attendance at the Nightcaps “Her vs. Lars and the Real Girl.” “Sigh…Snow…” “The Awkward Romance Movies” – A Nightcaps Tradition. “Bored or Drunk Bianca?” “Tackled by a Pregnant Emily Mortimer.” “Who Want’s Salad?” “Might have a Cabbage Patch Doll.” “Sweet Tart the Mayor.” “Baby Parallels.” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Four Way” – William Ross Chernoff's Nomads




Episode 57: Cheech & Chong's Up in Smoke
Apr 04 2020 79 mins  
Nightcaps at the Theater continues our Netflix and Quarantine with a love letter to all of you stoners out there. Cheech & Chong’s Up in Smoke, is just the kind of medication you need to survive this lack of interaction with your fellow man… man. This movie has it all, nuns on fire, a stiff narcotics dog, a van made of fiber weed and some of the best hot dogs you’ll see this side of East L.A. So, hold your thumb out and get hitching, we have gotta find that prime spliff to get us through the movie. Should we roll down the windows? What’s in this thing…man? How’s our driving…oh wait, are we parked? Don’t snort that Ajax instead why don’t you Listen, Rate, Review, and Subscribe to Nightcaps at the Theater, let those speakers blast as Low Rider plays. Tonight, on the Marquee: Toke up and social distance as we watch Cheech & Chong’s Up in Smoke. Nothing Wrong with Bongs. Tokin it Up at the Theater. Munchies and a Hangover Movie. Pedro in the Muppet Mobile. The Ma Joint Royale w/ Cheese. Ajax Animal Noises. Impromptu Migas Wedding. Verizon Fiber Weed Getting Peed on Ring Any Bells? When the Van is Rockin… Alice Bowie…Off into the Blazing” Sunset. Tommy Chong was a stoner! What?!? Juvenile, Immature, and the perfect film for Mark. Share your Weed with the Class. “Your whiteness is showing.” “Why is Cheech Southern?” It’s kinda like The Odyssey … with Cheech and Chong. Making Some “Ice Cream.” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Hangover” by Dee Yan-Key




Episode 56: Polyester
Mar 22 2020 79 mins  
Are you tired of your suburban housewife life? Do you long to sniff the fresh air just beyond the cul-de-sac? Has the neighborhood porn movie house, got you down? If so, then have we got a movie for you! Look no further than the disgusting, perverted, and oddly-floral scented Polyester (1981). This John Water’s joint, follows the follies of Francine Fishpaw as she deals with a cheating husband, lousy kids, and her best friend Cuddles’s Debutante Ball. Francine’s certainly got a nose for female trouble and that’s just perfect for us as this movie has perfected “Odorama" technology, allowing you…yes you, the average viewer to take your nose on a cinematic adventure! So put down the macramé, forget the foot fetish, and breathe in that sweet smell of our podcast! Tonight, on the Marquee: Join the “Most Drinkingest Gals In the World” as We Watch John Water’s Polyester (1981). The Powerful Aroma of “Odorama!” Picketing Porno. Quentin Tarantino Origins. Sister Hijacks a Bus. Cuddles Got Cuddles on Her Mind. Divine Casually tearing Off Car Doors and Busting into Motel Rooms. Call the Nuns! La Rue’s Got a Gun/Dogicide. The New AMC Drive In. Cuddles X Heinz. So Pure. Free, White, Rich & Happy. “One to Show Grandma.” – Jonathan’s Review. “It’s no Dolby, but Two Noses Up!” “Please Show Benji!” “I Thought He Was Walking His Dog, But Then I Realized It Was His Date!” Mark’s Bill Murray Podcast. “I Didn’t Want to Use Macramé to Kill!” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 55: Wild Wild West
Mar 16 2020 142 mins  
Take out, your sharpshooters…not that kind, zip your pants back up, because we are off to watch 1999’s Wild Wild West. We could warn you with what to expect in this movie, but none of it would make a lick of sense. In Fat Candy’s Gentleman’s Club, you can only hope to find Will Smith and Kevin Kline in unconvincing drag, heavy-handed racial humor, battle trains, and there’s gotta be a giant mechanical spider in the third act. If that’s not enough for you, then maybe some butt shots, and some truly questionable acting choices from Kenneth Branagh’s villainous Loveless? Any listener that's stressed, will be in more distress, when we’ve done our best, with this podcast. As we roll into, as we stroll into the Wild, Wild! Have a “A Breath of Fresh Ass” I mean “A Breast of Fresh Air” and Support us on Podbean, iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and More. Tonight, on the Marquee: Mechanical Spiders, Rough Riders, and we want “Nada” in Wild Wild West (1999) The Evident Racism In and Out of the Film. Smith and Kline’s Unique Lack of Chemistry. Nitro Physics. Exploring Fake Breasts and Super Mario 64 Munitia and Magnetic, Magical Saws. Spider Foreshadowing The Worst Original Song “This Movie Invented Steampunk.” “Sisqo’s Bad Breakup!?!” “We’re from the Streets.” “Don't you just HATE that song?” “Hard Pumping.” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Four Way” – William Ross Chernoff's Nomads


Amuse Bouche: March 7th 2020
Mar 08 2020 72 mins  
“Amuse-Bouche” – March 7th, 2020 Even the Corona Virus can’t stop us at Nightcaps at the Theater. Put on your masks, and break out your tissues, as we prepare to dig in to another pop culture banquet in our Amuse-Bouche episode. Oodles of Anime, Tons of T.V, Multitudes of Movies/Music, and some Tasty Theater all await you! Stay tuned to hear us open Pokémon cards live on the air, while also discussing the latest pop culture. Letterbox may be down for Matt, but don’t worry, our podcast is always here for you! Please Listen, Rate, Review, and Subscribe on iTunes, Podbean, Stitcher, and Spotify! The One and Only Home of Spaghetti Kung-Fu Films and Longclaw Lore. Shut Up Weeb! – The Clone Wars, Mob Psycho 100, Ni No Kuni, Dragon Quest: Your Story, Pokémon: Mewtwo Strikes Back – Evolution, Castlevania, and Steven Universe: Future. T.V. Court – The Twilight Zone, I Am Not Okay with This, RuPaul’s Drag Race, Project Runway, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and Better Call Saul. Movie Phone – Kung-Fu Hustle, Dirty Harry, Doom: Annihilation, Between Two Ferns: The Movie, Impractical Jokers: The Movie, Call of the Wild, Fantasy Island, Mulan (1998), Emma, Portrait of a Lady on Fire, and Train to Busan. Troddin the Boards – Six, Fun Home, and The Mystery of Edwin Drood. Disc Jockeys – Grimes, U.S. Girls, Lady Gaga, Christineand the Queens, Night Runner, Nina Simone, Doja Cat, and Jonathan Wilson. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G







Episode 53: Fateful Findings
Feb 01 2020 77 mins  
Nightcaps at the Theater rings in 2020’s edition of “Critically Panduary/So Bad It Hurts/Don’t Yuck My Yum” with Neil Breen’s masterpiece Fateful Findings (2012). “It’s a Magical Day!” This is a film (if you can call it that) that will leave you questioning your sanity, psychedelic mushrooms, and Master’s Degree in Computer Science. Hack into the truth behind the Government Masters of the World, all while lounging in your inner Black Void.! If you love a “so bad its good time” at the movies, question your sanity and then tune in to this episode. (Farting-Wind Sound Effect.) Remember to Listen, Rate, Review, and Subscribe to Nightcaps at the Theater, forget your addiction to pills and invite yourselves to our poolside BBQ! Tonight, on the Marquee: “I can’t believe you committed suicide” after watching Fateful Findings (2012). A Biography of the Mystery of an Enigma of Neil Breen. Is There a Plot? Everybody Loves Neil Breen. Bloody Disgusting Shower Scene/Fishing Pills Out of the Toilet. Psychologist Symbolism. Reflection Walking Out on a Reflection. Eating Lettuce and Dismantling the Government. Microsoft Sam’s Star Billing. Worst Press Conference Ever! If an A.I. Wrote a Movie. Serious Film Investors … Stay Tuned. Is it a Neil Breen Feature? – Matt’s on the Money Question. 30$ for a Jewel Case DVD? “It’s Very Hard to Describe This Movie.” “If Tommy Wiseau Directed a David Lynch Movie. “Has Neil Breen Ever Had Sex?” “Im Hungry!” “Tutoring Commercial Parallels.” “What is This Shot?” “I Resign As the President of the Bank.” “I Wasn’t Ready…” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420


Amuse Bouche: January 25th 2020
Jan 25 2020 120 mins  
Nightcaps at the Theater is back with another Amuse-Bouche segment. Tonight we discuss our Scooby -Doo fan theories, the Caronavirus, lyrics to Mr. Rodgers’ opening theme, John Travolta, fisting dragons, and Netflix’s The Circle. “Nightcaps, send message to fans. #Nightcapskillingit. We are totally not hipster dou#che bags… ” Make sure that you are ready for a “meaty” discussion on the most recent pop culture news. Finally, save room for a “Meowdy” screening of CATS and some Star Wars talk, to fill your multi-media hunger. Our podcast will be sure to fill that void inside, so rate, review, and subscribe. Shut Up Weeb! – Your Name, Weathering With You, Ni-No Kuni, Carole & Tuesday, Infinity Train, and BoJack Horseman. T.V. Court – The Witcher, Modern Love, Jeopardy, The Man in the High Castle, You, Project Runway, John Mulaney & the Sack Lunch Bunch, The Good Place, AJ and the Queen, and The Circle. Movie Phone – Persona, CATS, Star Wars Episode VIII, Star Wars Episode IX, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, Little Women, Queen & Slim, Uncut Gems, West Side Story (1961), Spies in Disguise, The Fanatic, Overlord, A Bridge Too Far, The Last Black Man in San Francisco, One Child Nation, IP Man 4, Like A Boss, 1917, Just Mercy, DoLittle, Bad Boys, Bad Boys for Life, Detective Chinatown, Street Dancer 3D, Troddin the Boards – The Explorer’s Club. Disc Jockeys – Lady Gaga “Stupid Love”, and Matt’s “Winter Newsletter.” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G






Episode 50: Nightcaps at the Theater Rankin-Bass Christmas Special: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964) Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town (1970) & The Year Without A Santa Clause (1974)
Jan 04 2020 102 mins  
“If you sit on my lap today, A new Nightcaps at the Theater Christmas special will come your way!” That’s right kids; it’s the most wonderful time of the year, Christmas! And what could stir up our beloved childhood memories more than re-watching our favorite Rankin-Bass stop motion, abominable monstrosities, with a few close friends, and copious amounts of liquor? Just don’t get so wasted you can’t put “one foot in front of the other.” Tonight, the podcast takes a look at THREE “seminal” (using that term loosely) Christmas Films. We go through the R & B Holiday canon with Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964) Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town (1970) & The Year Without A Santa Clause (1974). Even if you’re a Miser Brother we bet you won’t be able to resist singing along! Listen, Rate, Review, and Subscribe to us on Podbean, iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, etc. instead. Share this nostalgic spirit of Christmas wonder; never stop believing in Santa…or the power of booze! Tonight, on the Marquee: Having a Holly Jolly Christmas with R & B’s Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964) Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town (1970) & The Year Without A Santa Clause (1974). Santa Claus?! An Asshole?! Fast Forward Song ™. The Media Pushing the Santa Agenda. Stupid Kids Questioning Narrators. In-Breeding Elves/Penguin Smooches. Rankin Bass’s “Christmas Shoes.” No One Would Even Miss Me… Claus Drag King. Southern Children From Brooklyn. Santa’s Grog. Stereotypical Diversity and A Colorblind Christmas. Obsessed with the Rankin-Bass Holiday Canon – Jonathan’s Passion Project. “I’m Named After Mommy’s Favorite Drink…Fireball.” North Pole Toxicity/Gender Pressures. “No Sit, No Kiss, No You for You!” “Mayor Mister – Mister Mayor.” “So Long, South Town!” Jingle X Jangle. Reindeer Math + Pussy Muff. "God Bless My Soul." - Santa is Too Good. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Four Way” – William Ross Chernoff's Nomads


Episode 49: Punch-Drunk Love
Jan 01 2020 98 mins  
What do you get when you mix novelty plungers, pudding, and an anxious romance? Well, we here at Nightcaps at Theater, can only assume it’s something that looks and feels like Paul Thomas Anderson’s Punch-Drunk Love (2002). Don’t worry about calling into a phone-sex line for intimacy/connection, we’ve got you covered there. Love can be as awkward as oppressive siblings, or as spontaneous as a Harmonia, dumped on the side of the street. We want to chew on your cheeks and scoop out your eyes in a loving way. Don’t renew your gym membership, skip the crumby party with the siblings and let’s go get dinner instead. Maybe later we can listen to Shelly Duvall croon a tune, underneath the moon? No need to save up your frequent flyer miles, you can listen to us on Podbean, iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, etc. instead. Stop selling “Fungers” and start hoarding those Healthy Choice ™ snacks. Don’t forget to Rate, Review, and Subscribe, or you may get a visit from Dean the Mattress King. Tonight, on the Marquee: Picking up Harmonia in the Street, circa 20002, Nightcaps Watches Punch-Drunk Love. Adam Sandler Cinematography. Star Wars Phone Sex Operator The Pudding Man … “He Needs Me.” The Definition of Punch-Drunk. Negging Sisters. Phone Sex… Just Don’t Do It! Meanwhile, in Provo, Utah. Bustin Down Bathrooms. Anxiety Tap Dance in the Grocery Store. Strange Small Dirty Talk “If Uncut Gems doesn’t succeed…” – Our Dark Future. “They’re Both Method.” – Sandler vs. Day Lewis. “Can We Watch Billy Madison Instead?” “Actor’s F^&k” – A True Fact. Mark’s “Big Stick” Story. “Ya Strokin Ya Snoke?” – Star Wars Sexline “And Bye-Bye.” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Four Way” – William Ross Chernoff's Nomads





Amuse Bouche: December 11th 2019
Dec 14 2019 60 mins  
“Amuse-Bouche” – December 11th While Matt is away, Mark and Jon will play…at least we think that’s how the saying goes. Anyway, tonight you are in for a rich bounty of anime, Star Wars, Disney+, and potpourri Broadway knowledge with these two chuckle-heads recording. As long as you aren’t Rian Johnson (in Mark’s humble opinion) you are welcome to tune in and see the world through eyes, as if they were According to Jeff Goldblum. Just imagine all of the Baby Yoda, dancing with the CGI cat people…isn’t it perfect? Please Listen, Rate, Review, and Subscribe on iTunes, Podbean, Stitcher, and now Spotify! It’s the only way we can reanimate Matt, stick him in a Muppet body, and blog about it on our Tumblreddits. Tonight, on the Marquee: Shut Up Weeb! – Pokémon Origins, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, DuckTales (2017), Gargoyles, Steven Universe: Future, and Rick and Morty T.V. Court –The World According to Jeff Goldblum, The Mandalorian, His Dark Materials, Encore!, The Good Place, Project Runway, and Arizona Circle. Movie Phone – The Muppets, Noelle, Lady and the Tramp (2019), The Touch, The Serpent’s Egg, Frozen 2, Knives Out Troddin the Boards – Bye, Bye, Birdie!, SpongeBob: The Musical, Elf: The Musical, The Explorer’s Club, Beetlejuice, The Music Man, West Side Story, and Disc Jockeys – FLCL, and Amy Winehouse. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Four Way” – William Ross Chernoff's Nomads


Episode 48: Bedknobs and Broomsticks
Nov 30 2019 89 mins  
Filigree, apogee, pedigree, perigee and welcome to a world of magic, witches, curious British waifs, Nazis, and tweaked flying LSD-fueled bed frames. Thanks to the Professor Emilius Browne Correspondence College of Witchcraft, and Nightcaps at the Theater you have been carefully chosen to test your apprentice witch abilities through the consumption of alcohol and the through the viewing of an otherwise highly underrated, classic Disney film. With Hosts, Jonathan Kwiatkowski, Daniel Ryan, and Grant Farrokh, you are truly in for a “magical” time. As you listen be sure you don’t roll any ankles while trying to fly your broom in the dead of night, or jump on the nearest bed, hoping to soar through the starry skies, and most certainly don’t take off all your clothes in the hopes that you have mastered Substitutionary Locomotion! We assure you the only spell you’re under is that of your spirits. Lastly, have fun, sing along, and enjoy an “unprepared” mark you, an “unprepared” night of bobbing along through Portobello Road, Pepperinge Eye, the Ise of Naboombu, and your own imagination. Lackipo nikrif scrumpet leech! Tonight, on the Marquee: It Feels Grand Watching Bedknobs and Broomsticks with a Drink in Your Hand! Unoffical Drinking Game and A Hodge-Podge Production History. To the Observant/Modern Viewer… Eglantine Price is One Bad Bi**h. Fanfiction, Layers, and Possible Sequel Ideas on r/bedknobs. Meme Potential. Take A Shot for Every Knob. Magical Pyramid Schemes. Unsolved Mysteries: The Island of Nuboombu. Tanking in Soccer. Nazees Causing Mischief. How Many More Wizards/Witches Does Britain Have? Genuinely Impressive Reanimated Medieval Armor. “This Was My After the Battle of Yavin” – The Connection of Bedknobs. Academy Award for Best DVD Menu. How Old is Angela Lansbury? A24’s Bedknobs and Broomsticks. “Will my Nipples Work Miss Price?” Terry Cloth Prop Books. Nazee Occultism or Disney Conspiracy. Coulda Saved Us Millions Paul! Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 47: Eraserhead
Nov 24 2019 73 mins  
In Heaven Everything is Fine, but with a little bit of liquor and a good movie, life is even better. On the conclusion of Nightcaps at the Theater’s 2nd Annual Frightcaps fest, Mark throws us a curve ball in the form of a pencil factory. Listen close to your radiator and you will know we are taking a look at David Lynch’s opus Eraserhead. This movie will make you rethink every relationship you ever had, and children … sheesh we won’t be thinking of those for a lifetime. Remember if you watch this movie on a phone you might be thinking you are getting the full experience, but you’re F***ing not! Now, sit back and let the soothing sounds of machinery, howling winds, and your lovely newborn monster baby. Tonight, on the Marquee: The Finale of this Year’s Frightcaps at the Theater Marathon! Make Room in your Brain for David Lynch’s Eraserhead. Popeye’s Should Have Sponsored this Episode. Lynch’s Philadelphia Story? A Boy and His Radiator. The Most Awkward Family Dinner Ever. Placenta Present. Literal “Wet Dreams.” On This Episode of How Did This Get Made…Pencils?!! Don’t You Dare Steal Our Muppets Take Your Movie Podcast Idea! Monster Baby … Not As Bad as Nugget Slime. This Year’s Frightcaps Theme Revealed and What’s to Come? What the F**k Did We Just Watch? – Reminiscing on Our First Viewing. Should we Have Picked Little Nicky? Making a Baby…Prop. Look at My Knees! And Man-Made Chickens. “ALRIGHT PAUL!” “It’s Okay.” Danny Devito Takes a Tumble. “This Baby is Mockin Me!” Practical Props Power. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Hangover” by Dee Yan-Key


Amuse Bouche: November 17th 2019
Nov 17 2019 73 mins  
“Amuse-Bouche” – November 17th, 2019 Live from our sickbeds, directly to you, is the latest Amuse Bouche, pop culture content segment, sponsored by Nightcaps at the Theater. On tonight’s episode we discuss what it must be like to be cloned or live your life as Jeff Goldblum. If you like A Star Wars then at least two thirds of our hosting team will probably talk about that too, the other third of our hosting team would rather watch two dogs, fall in love. Anyways, pour yourself a cup of gender fluid, Puppet Flounder can’t hurt you here. Deep fakes are all the rage, but only by listening can you understand “the real” that is how bad the Terminator series has gotten, the bafflement of granting superpowers to historical figures, “fun” priests, and maybe even someday, hear Matthew Cabrera’s review of Snow Dogs? Oh wait, never mind…he watched Arctic F***king Dogs instead. Remember to Listen, Rate, Review, and Subscribe on iTunes, Podbean, Stitcher, and More…please do Matt sat through Arctic Dogs. Clearly, we need all the help we can get. Tonight, on the Marquee: Shut Up Weeb! – Pokémon/She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. T.V. Court – Living with Myself, The End of the F***ing World, The World According to Jeff Goldblum, The Mandalorian, The Little Mermaid: Live, RuPaul’s Drag Race UK, AHS:1984, and The Good Place Movie Phone – The Jungle Book, The Lion King: ½, Aladdin and the King of Thieves, Dolemite is My Name, The Flavor of Green Tea Over Rice, The Lure, Doctor Sleep, The Addams Family (2019), Terminator: Dark Fate, Harriet, Midway, Lady and the Tramp, Countdown, Ford v Ferrari, The Irishman, and Arctic Dogs. Troddin the Boards –Waitress Disc Jockeys – FKA twigs MAGDALENE. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 46: Alien
Nov 10 2019 78 mins  
In space no one can hear you scream, but a little nightcap might help. Join us as we trek into the final frontier, as our Frightcaps at the Theater horror marathon continues. All Aboard the Nostromo as we take on Ridley Scott’s 1979 sci-fi epic, Alien. Line your stomach with booze so that any pesky Chest -Bursters will be too intoxicated to care, as we discuss the magic of practical effects, the decline of the Alien Franchise and Ripley’s competency in saving cats/kicking alien ass. However, rest assured, after listening the only face hug you’re gonna get is one from us, to you loyal listeners. Now, pick up your flamethrower and crawl into that duct, we got a universe to save! Tonight, on the Marquee: Move over E.T., We’re Watching Alien. Are Xenomorphs Technically Disney Princesses? Ghostbusters Sonic the Hedgehog. Unions and following protocol … IN SPACE! Michigan J. Chest Burster! That Darn Cat … Jonesy! A good 4 minutes of Monster Air-Time. Milk … it Does an Android Good. Cursing out MOTHER. Designing Space Pajamas. Burning the Alien and the Special Effect Budget to a Crisp. John Witherspoon in Alien? No Notes … No problem. Spooky Sh&^ty Sequels. Drinking Alien Secretion “F&*k IMDB and Amazon.” Wanna Hug? – It’s all the Xenomorph Really Wanted. “Don’t Bother Me, I’m trying to Sleep Here. – Xenomorph tired after Murdering All Day. “Dear Diary, B*tch I Lived!” – Final Entry for the Nostromo. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Hangover” by Dee Yan-Key


Amuse Bouche: November 3rd 2019
Nov 03 2019 105 mins  
“Amuse-Bouche” – November 02, 2019 Break out the cymbals, tonight on another Nightcaps at the Theater sponsored Amuse Bouche segment is coming, directly to you! Sorry for the delay, but you still got this episode before the latest Zombieland movie…so not all bad right. By golly, prepare your being for all the anime, television, movies, theater, and music news you may ever need. Dave room for cute high school romances, dinosaurs, Watchmen, selling out to Disney+, how Showtime has nothing going for it right now…and more! Put on ya bib, and dig into this pop culture podcast feast. Tonight, on the Marquee: Shut Up Weeb! – Steins;Gate, Onimonogatari, Hazbin Hotel, and Primal. T.V. Court – Modern Love, Watchmen, The Good Place, Rupaul’s Drag Race UK, Dragula, AHS:1984, The Great British Baking Show, and American God Movie Phone – Gemini Man, Zombieland, Judy, The Terminator, The Magic Flute, After the Rehearsal, All That Jazz, Shane Dawson’s Jeffree Star Series Conclusion, In the Tall Grass, Scream, Joker, Jojo Rabbit, The Lighthouse, and Parasite. Troddin the Boards – The Explorer’s Club, Company, Six, and Waitress Disc Jockeys – Godsmack, Tool, Metallica covers, Kesha “Raising Hell”/High Road, Lizzo “Good As Hell” Remix ft. Ariana Grande, Drag Race’s “Break Up (Bye Bye), Big Thief “Not.” Duran Duran, Neil Young & Crazy Horse, Anna Meredith, Caroline Polachek “Door, Swans, and Kanye West. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G











Episode 43: Child's Play
Sep 21 2019 91 mins  
The 2ndFrightcaps at the Theater festival begins with a trip back to youth. Don’t you ever reminisce about pouring sugar over your cereal, right before sitting down for Saturday Morning Cartoons? And what about the toys? Were you the lucky owner of a Good Guys Doll? Did you ever have a better friend than that warm piece of cheap plastic? We…don’t think so. If you ever want to go back to that time, there’s only one easy thing you need to do. Simply, find a vessel, chant the enclosed Voodoo ritual, and you’ll never have to worry about the horrors of adulthood ever again. See it’s Child’s Play. Batteries *not* included. Tonight, on the Marquee: “This is the end…friend” with Child’s Play. Voodoo Make-Believe. Where is this 2.5 Hour Cut? Andy’s Big Breakfast ™ Misrepresentative Birthday Presents – Actual Kid-Size Murder Weapons Nightcaps Inflation Calc. Hammer + Face = Activates Thrusters. Adventures in Bum Town. God Bless Cigarette Lighters. Child’s Jail. Kicking Down the Grate. Chucky Just Keeps Going and Going and Going. “Yucko!” – Clown Name or Reaction to Brooklyn Vampires? Sugar Ray – The Most Serial Killer Friendly Band. “Mark is Now a Chair!” – Failed Soul Transfer Rituals “I Didn’t Say It…Chucky Did.” “Da Gri Gri Worked!” - We Actually Made It a Year Plus??? Bilbo the Hobbit. “What an Ugly Doll.” – A Look into Our Comment Section. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Hangover” by Dee Yan-Key




Episode 42: Paper Moon
Sep 07 2019 91 mins  
You owe us two-hundred dollars on tonight’s episode of Nightcaps at the Theater. For the finale of our 2019 Summer Lovin theme we are watching the 1973 classic, Paper Moon, on the podcast. Join us all we travel across the Dust Bowl effected Mid-West in order to Winky-Tinky across this great country. Daddy Issues are aplenty on the show tonight. Would you give us change for twenty? No…well maybe if you take it into you hearts that we are just trying to sell gold toothed Deluxe Bibles on this podcast, you’ll change your mind? Listen to us, as you eat your Coney Island, and we can guarantee Miss Trixie will show you a good time! Tonight, on the Marquee: Bob Ross Drawing Style Interpretation of Peter Bagdanovich’s Paper Moon. 1930s in the style of the 1970s. Actual Father/Daughter Casting. Madeline Caw ala Bojack Horseman. Smoking at Age 9/Original Daddy Culture. The Little Rascals Gif vs. Jif. Modern Grifts. The Imogen Show. Lady Time. “Oh, Goody!” Holy Smokes We Gotta Wrassel! “Quit while You’re Ahead!” Ryan and Tatum O’Neal Back at it Again. Funerals are Funny. “Eat ya Coney Island.” – Us to the Listeners. Inflation Calculations. Aunt Ida Returns. “We Won’t Watch Annie!” – Promise from the Pod. Charlie Angels Debate. The Daltons Joke. “Oh, Sonuvabitch!” – When Miss Trixie Trips on a Hill. “I Gotta use the Shithouse!” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G




Episode 41: Hedwig and the Angry Itch
Aug 24 2019 81 mins  
6 Inches Forward and 5 Inches Back, on this episode of Nightcaps at the Theater we are watching the musical, punk-rock, gender&*k, classic Hedwig and the Angry Inch! Join us, as we discover the Origin of Love and find out why we can’t put bras in a dryer. Sugar Daddies, we got a sweet tooth for cult movies and this performance by John Cameron Mitchell, that can not to be missed. You heard of the Berlin Wall, baby? Try, and tear us down! Please, Rate, Review, and Subscribe. Otherwise, we won’t ever leave this Wicked Little Town. Now, sit back, put on some make up, turn up the tape deck, and pull the wig down from the shelf. Tonight, on the Marquee: This Podcast Better. Much Better. Gummibearschen Tasting with Hedwig and the Angry Inch. We are Doing it Live! Live Vocals! Why Can’t You Put a Bra in a Dryer? Genderfuck & The Origin of Love. Kompf vs. Comte. Inch vs, Itch. Wig In the Box – Breaking Lights. Korean Back Up Band and Kurt Cobain. Surprise, Whitney! Half/Half Framing. Osiris…Not The Cyrus! Seeing One’s Self…Through the Drag. Matt’s Choice Usurped. Hedwig “Virgins” Harry Potter & Hedwig. Will there be Owls? “How come there’s no Sex noises?” – Jon’s Review. “He died for our Sins. And so Did Hitler.” – Artistic View of Hedwig’s Past. “She Threw Tomatoes…. I Made a Salad.” “It’s a Carwash!” “Like a Barbie Doll Down There.” – Mark’s Take. “You Don’t Put a Bra in a Dryer! It Warps!” “James Cameron’s Mitchell’s” “In a Better World This Would be More Popular than Rent.” – Matt’s Review. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G



Amuse Bouche: August 13th 2019
Aug 17 2019 119 mins  
“Amuse-Bouche” – August 13th 2019 A smorgasbord, that’s all we can describe this episode as. A feast for those pop culture inclined among you tonight. That is what we offer you on this humble podcast. You’re pop filter may be sticky, but we got your back when it comes to mass media this week. We even have a brand-new segment for you secret weebs out there. Anime? Is that T.V.? We hope you enjoy. Tune in and listen. We promise this episode is not a Handmaid’s Tale or a Mr. Griggins parody. Broad City with Birds…not exactly. If that convinces you please listen! Jim, John, or Jack? Tom Clancy wrote those? Paul Revere? We can’t tell. Who knew? Doin it All for Love! Be a Baby Millionaire! Tonight, on the Marquee: Shut Up Weeb! – Cowboy Bebop, Enter the Anime, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Rilakkuma and Karou, gen:LOCK, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, and Infinity Train. T.V. Court – Dear White People, The Boys, Jack Ryan, I Think You Should Leave, Tuca and Bertie, Rocko’s Modern Life, NOS4A2, A Black Lady Sketch Show, POSE, Derry Girls, GLOW, and Euphoria. Movie Phone – The Farewell, The Devil’s Eye, All These Women, Dune, Anna and the Apocalypse, I Am Mother, Carrie, Taxi Driver, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, IT: Chapter 1, Hobbs and Shaw, Madness and the Method, Scary Stories To Tell in the Dark, and Dora and the Lost City of Gold. Troddin the Boards –Footloose, The Wake, and Disc Jockeys – The Big Day Chance the Rapper, Bruce Springsteen, The Hold Steady, Clario’s Immunity, Y, and Lizzo’s Tiny Ass Desk Concert. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G






Episode 39: True Lies
Jul 27 2019 116 mins  
So, do you feel confident and safe in your marriage? Ever wonder where your spouse sneaks off to, after those long business meetings? If your significant other a spy and having an affair…welcome to the club! And welcome to another episode of Nightcaps at the Theater. Tonight, we are looking at James Cameron, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Jamie Lee Curtis’s comedic spy 1994 comedy True Lies. Would a podcaster pee themselves? Who knows? So, ride a missile into this episode in the hopes that you can save your relationship and maybe even the world! Just know this…if you listen to us, you’ll feel like you are married to Rambo…and that’s not necessarily a bad thing is it? Leap your horse over the gap, and join us! Tonight, on the Marquee: “Get To the Car!” We are watching True Lies! 8 years old and Jamie Lee’s Rockin’ Bod. Eliza Dushku … Not So Fun a Time. True Lies … B*tch A&& Schwarzenegger + Curtis = Marriage? That Horse is Gonna Jump!?!? Classic Yoshi Tactics. Ice Tray Relationship Boundaries. Hot Damn Jamie Lee! Get It! Truth Serum Marriage Counsel. Gun Falling Down Stars. And the Movie Ends…Wait…What? Jet Physics? “Dancing for 6 Months” – Learning the Tango the Same Length as Endgame Filming. “Is this movie still going on?” – Jonathan’s Back of the Box Quote. Doberman = The German Breed. The Patented Jamie Lee Striptease. “Rock Hard Data and a Total Biscuit.” “NO! NOT FLORIDA! PLEASE!” “The Bridge is Out!” - No S&^T! “You’re Fired!” - Catchphrase 101 Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Hangover” by Dee Yan-Key















Episode 35: The Transformers: The Movie
Jun 01 2019 99 mins  
Nightcaps Alcoholics in Disguise! On this episode, AniMay continues with a nostalgic look into the 80s…which none of the hosts were technically born in. Tonight, we roll out into The Transformers: The Movie so be sure to channel your innermost robot as we join the battle between Autobots and Decepticons. Witness the destruction of Cybertron, the death of Optimus Prime, the almighty rise of the idiotic Dinobots, and the atrophy of our livers. The year is 2005 and the entire universe is on the brink of war with Insecticons, Sharkicons, Quintessons and more. What kind of Transformer Are You? You may only find the answer if you listen to this podcast. Where will you stand in this battle of good, evil, and the almighty Screwitron? Knock em back, and hold tight to the matrix. It’s time to assemble! Tonight, on the Marquee: The Transformers: The Movie Roll Out Podcasters! The Film that Killed Orson Wells and Scatman Crothers. You Got the Touch, You Got the Power! – A Soundtrack for the Ages. Gendered Robots? Space Prolapse Unicron. The Origin of “Damn Daniel.” Frank Welker: The Movie. Star Scream’s Coronation: Ruined Robot Facial Hair? Mad Max Eric Idle Gang. Rodimus Prime. Transformer Pop Quiz. What Kind of Transformer are You?” “On the right track with Alvin and the Chipmunks?” “Oh, Sh#t!” – WTF! “Ratsh*t?” “Why Can’t They Just Build Another One?” – A Fair Point. “Bah-weep-Graaaaagnah wheep ni ni bong.” – Universal Greeting. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Hangover” by Dee Yan-Key






Amuse Bouche: May 11th 2019
May 11 2019 102 mins  
“Amuse-Bouche” – May 11th, 2019 Feast friends, on this intoxicatingly filling Amuse Bouche, brought to you by Nightcaps at the Theater. On this week’s pop culture banquet, we dine on filibusters, pop culture vampire stars, pansexuals, forklift surgery, Celtic Moans, the Skarsgards, Steve the Penguin almost getting walrus raped, Avengers: Endgame, and Randy Quaid. So, tuck in lovelies, dinner is served, it’s “consistently decent!” Tonight, on the Marquee: T.V. Court – Ramy, Lunatics, At Home with Amy Sedaris, Fosse/Verdon, What We Do in the Shadows, Rupaul’s Drag Race, Project Runway, The Act, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, PEN15, Arrested Development, Killing Eve, Grey’s Anatomy, New Girl, Schitt’s Creek, The Hateful Eight, Game of Thrones, and Chernobyl. Movie Phone – Dogtooth, Hagazussa, Faro Document, Through a Glass Darkly, The Miami Connection: Live, The Farewell, IT: Chapter Two, Judy, Rocketman, Only Yesterday, Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil, and Vile, Penguins: A Disney Nature Film, The Best of Enemies, Avengers: Endgame, The Intruder, Long Shot, Tolkien, and Detective Pikachu. Troddin the Boards – A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, Shrek: The Musical, Hadestown, Oklahoma!, Cole Escola’s Quick, Pretend I’m Asleep! Disc Jockeys – Eartha Kitt, Cab Calloway, Vampire Weekend, Sierra, Esperanza Spalding, Holly Henrdon, Jamila Woods, Tim Hecker, Big Thief, Tacocat, Tank and the Bangas, The Cranberries, The Mountain Goats, Rodrigo y Gabriela, Kevin Morby, Marina, CHAI, The Regrets, and Craig Finn. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Hangover” by Dee Yan-Key


Episode 33: Source Code
May 03 2019 93 mins  
What would you do if you only had 8 minutes left to live? Well, hopefully you would speed through the latest episode of Nightcaps at the Theater. Tonight, our first guest is friend of the podcast: Alexander Portera. After some conversations on talking Pikachu, and finally putting this Aquaman beef to rest, it’s off to 2011’s Source Code. Imagine that you are trapped on an extremely spacious train, in the body of Jake Gyllenhaal, and your mission is to disable a bomb, stop a terrorist attack, while avoiding the greatest evil of all…public transit commuters. In this sci fi thriller, racing down the tracks and through time itself is a mad breakneck dash to avoid a fiery fate. Strap in, and Pay Attention! Who’s the prime suspect? The adult man in a Star Wars Shirt? The woman who keeps spilling coffee…on purpose?!? The failed comedian? It could be anyone, but one thing is for sure … its going to be a long 8 minutes. Tonight, on the Marquee: Guest Walks into a Bar: Alexander Portera and Source Code. Dunkin Doughnut The Corporate Branding of 2011 and Colonel Dr. Bernard Rutledge. Knight Shamalama Ding-Dong! MVP: Duck The Coffee Bitch and Kid from Mask. Why the Crutch? The Littlest Train Platform Am I Dead? You Didn’t Read the Terms of Service. The Bomb is Bumpin! Bumpin! Half a Daddy and a Whole Man. Betting on a Laugh and Loving Life. What About Sean? Active Listeners? THEY DO EXIST?!?! “Nicole Kidman’s Wig.” – A Reason Missed Nick Cage Opportunity. Pudgy John Oliver. Flirting on AIM: Away Message – Dead Inside. Mind Masturbatorium. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Four Way” – William Ross Chernoff's Nomads





Episode 32: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
Apr 19 2019 80 mins  
This episode of Nightcaps at the Theater is truly a bodacious journey. Strange things are a foot at the Circle K, and it’s up to both William "Bill’’ S. Preston Esq. and Theodore "Ted’’ Logan to travel through time and space in order to ace their history report. San Dimas and the world will never be the same after Wyld Stallyns is finished with it. Sneaking beers in the old west, kissing babes in the 15th Century, and introducing Napoleon to waterslides…what could go wrong? Hop into a phone booth, dial a number, Be Excellent to each other and don’t forget to listen, rate, review, and subscribe. Like...totally! Tonight, on the Marquee: Whoa…he didn’t even card us. It’s Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Mixing up Wayne’s World and Bill and Ted’s. Exclusive Math: 69? What does it Mean? Orange Kurosawa Step Mom’s and Oedipal Complexes. Weird floating, future, society. The trouble with Medieval Dickweeds and Slurs. Date Night with Napoleon “Ziggy Piggy.” Most Excellent Soundtrack Review Mall Rats/ Hot Dogs on a Bat. The Logistics of a “Four Score and 7 Minute” Presentation. George Carlin Rips It and Music Saves the World. “Let’s Get Ready to Dumbo.” “Guitar Riff.” “I don’t know f*&king Google it!” “You gotta trust your stoner friends.” The Truth about Shen Yun. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Four Way” – William Ross Chernoff's Nomads


Amuse-Bouche April 6th 2019
Apr 07 2019 104 mins  
This “Amuse Bouche” is more like a “Feast of Fools” we have three weeks of pop culture to catch up on, so prepare to be stuffed to the brim. Tonight, we have fresh film reviews of Us, Dumbo, and far more. Join us as we discuss Amy Sedaris based conspiracy theories, our lord and savior Shrek, Dickelodeon, Taika Waititi, mouthing spiders, the skyrocketing price of Avengers: Endgame tickets, and Thicness. Don’t forget to leave room for the main course Madcap Marchness finale coming soon to a podcast host near you! Rate, Review, and Subscribe, to keep the pop culture courses coming. Tonight, on the Marquee: T. V. Court – Star Wars: The Mandalorian, Transformers War for Cybertron, Schitt's Creek, Love, Death & Robots, The Twilight Zone, What We Do in the Shadows, Arrested Development, Killing Eve, SNL, PEN15, Broad City, The Act, Project Runway, Stranger Things, RuPaul’s Drag Race, and At Home with Amy Sedaris. Movie Phone – Hush, Hush Sweet Charlotte, Gilda, Hour of the Wolf, Shame, The Passion of Anna, The Age of Innocence, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Toy Story 4, Only Yesterday, Joker, Dumbo, Triple Frontier, Captain Marvel, Paddleton, and Us. Troddin the Boards – Alice By Heart, The Music Man, Shrek: The Musical, Hadestown, Oklahoma!, and 9 to 5. Disc Jockeys – Brittian Ashford’s Drama Club, Roman Lewis’s Heartbreak (for now), Vampire Weekend, Billie Eilish, and Lil Nas X. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Hangover” by Dee Yan-Key


Episode 31: Uncle Buck
Mar 29 2019 94 mins  
Hide your best “unbreakable” china, and pray that your washing machine is in working order. Mommy and Daddy are out of town and the only thing they left for us to watch was John Hughes’s 1989 comedy Uncle Buck. Imagine getting up to record the podcast only to find stack of gargantuan pancakes, and our underwear freshly pressed, straight from the microwave? Who could have done this? John Candy…really? He may be a bit of a slob, and his car may be just be a death trap, and he may threaten to dismember our boyfriends with a hatchet…but he really doesn’t seem like that bad of a guardian. Will we each survive this surreal week at the Russell house, while keeping our kneecaps intact? You’ll have to tune into Nightcaps at Theater to find out. Tonight, on the Marquee: He’s Crude, He’s Crass, it’s Family…It’s Uncle Buck. Retiring to the Island Gullah-Gullah. The Uncle Bucks that Could Have Been. Welcome to the stage, Winona Wyder. Chanice or “Shadynasty?” Garbage Lunch Trades = Strange Cuts Laurie Metcalf…the Desperate Housewife from Next-door. Pancakes, “I said, what about breakfast at Uncle Buck’s?” Clown, Get back in Your Mouse and Out of the House! Remember Answering Machines and Three-way Phone Calls? (U.B. Laughs Evilly) John Candy Falls Down the Whole World Feels It. Getting Coffee with Uncle Buck. (Bites Lower Lip.) “Macaulay Culkin…type cast at age Seven.” “Hunkle Buck: Or Getting Stuck/Thunderstruck Playing Uncle Buck” Horton Hears a Hughes. “Boy, that’s for sure.” “You Waiting for Your Sex?” “What the Fuck?!? Uncle Buck?!?” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Hangover” by Dee Yan-Key




Episode 30: Clue
Mar 17 2019 77 mins  
Tonight, on Nightcaps at the Theater, you are invited to the first film in our Madcap Marchness marathon. Arrive fashionably dressed, carrying a weapon, and with an appetite for monkey’s brains and MURDER! 1985’s unforgettable, quotable, comedy, classic Clue is the prime suspect behind uncontrollable fits of the giggles and we are Dead-set on solving this mystery. How many times must we run back and forth through the halls of this mansion? Is the number of bullets in this gun equal to 1+1+2+1+1? Who will look upstairs with us for “We are fwightend of ze dark?” One thing is certain you will be seeing Scarlet, or Plum, or … Mustard after this film myriad twists and turns. Ah yes, we see the “flames on the side of your face” …without further ado, let the game begin! Tonight, on the Marquee: Hello, hello again, sh-boom and hopin' we'll meet again…with Clue. Madcap Marchness…Draft Picks Gotta Get a Theater Gimmick. Chutes and Ladders: The Movie Star Studded Murder Cast…Stepping in S*&t The Usefulness Imbalance of the Cluedo Matching up Matches. Using Dead Bodies as Props. Losing Too Many Singing Telegram Girls. Neon Evangelion Evangelist Going Home and Sleeping with Pizza Rating. #BadCatholic and Shushing Babies in Church. Jonathan Lynn’s Resume: My Cousin Vinny + Flops “I’m Horny!” Completely missing the Pun of Lee Ving’s name… “Just Lies Around on His Back All Day…” – What Good Husbands Should Do. “Are you hiding? I’m coming.” “Take Your Hands Off Me! I’m a Senator’s Wife!” “Flames on the Side of My Face.” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G




Episode 29: Primer
Mar 04 2019 82 mins  
What would you do if you could travel through time? Win the lottery? Invest in the stock market or electromagnetic reduction? On this episode of Nightcaps at the Theater we take a look at the “timeless” sci-fi classic, 2004’s Primer. Shane Carruth’s incredible filmmaking debut is brought to you (from a different grainier/rougher audio time period, it will all make sense, post listen) by all of those willing to probe their minds, and really think amidst intersecting timelines. Do you have your earpieces in? Will you be able to avoid your past selves to avoid a paradox? How could a Weeble enter and leave from side A? Who brings a gun to an ex’s party? All will be answered and more questions will emerge. Make sure to keep knocking them back, so you too can understand the unlimited, myriad, mysteries of time and space! (*Sound Issues may be a side effect of time travel.) Tonight, on the Marquee: What’s in the Box? It’s the time travel thriller…Primer Sending a Shit month off with Miami Connection. Shane Carruth Director, Actor, Producer, Engineer, Flight Simulator Designer, Extraordinaire. The Loopy Timeline vs. Other Films. Goopy Space/Time Startup? Go Back in Time to Punch a Dick? Price is Right Primer Primer Secretly a Gay Porn? (Unzips Fly) The Butterfly Effect Wasn’t Good… Spelled Backward … R-E-G-E-T Building a Bigger Box. Intro to Madcap Marchness “What kind of Fu&*kery is this?” Jobs x Wozniack OGTM Stein’s Gate or Meduka Meguca. “I Can’t Believe Hot Tub Time Machine Didn’t Touch Upon this?” “No one at Home Has Any Idea What’s Going On Right Now…” “Dis Movie Deep Tho…” Matt keeps on Winning. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Hangover” by Dee Yan-Key





Episode 28: The Master of Disguise
Feb 10 2019 97 mins  
Welcome to the new and improved, Nightcaps at the Theater. We are diving right into our first Critically Panneduary/So Bad it Hurts/Don’t Yuck My Yum Bad and we have no idea if we ever will look at movies the same way again. We piece together clues from our repressed youth’s subconscious and scream in maddening realization as we watch 2002’s The Master of Disguise. Pistachio Disguise (Yeah, you read that right) is on a mission to save his parents, find love, and become the true Master of Disguise. This film, if you can call it that, has it all. Bad, dated Dana Carvey impersonations. Sexism. A horrible, horrible, lack of humor. Don your Turtle Costume, and prepare your best/worst Tony Montana voice, you are going to need all your wits and sanity to make it through this movie. Afterwords, as you chant “Who’s Your Daddy?” rocking yourself back and forward, trying in vain to rid your mind of the Cherry Pie Man, remember this. Become Another Person. Watch Another Movie! Become Another Person. Watch Another Movie! Tonight, on the Marquee: Turtle…Turtle…For F*&k’s Sake TURTLE…it’s The Master of Disguise. New Format, New Us, Same Shitty Movies at An end to Critically Panneduary/So Bad it Hurts/Don’t Yuck My Yum. Locked Away in Our Minds for Years. 1000 Faces… and Not a Single Clue. “Ah, the Disguise Family…I Should Have Known!” Undoubtedly Will Be Mentioned in Mentioned in Dana Carvey’s Potential Suicide Note. Stolen From/By the Assassin’s Creed Corned Beef Ravioli, who want to shit themselves 24/7? Pistachio is Clearly an Ass Man. Offensive No Matter, Race, Religion, or Bottom Size. David Lynch’s Turtle Club. Scooby Doo is Computer Generated…NO, REALLY! Cherry Pie Man…Nightmare Fuel. Razzie Nominee for Best Fart. “In a Bathtub with a Toaster Somewhere Hopefully.” – Director Perry Andelin Blake Whereabouts. “That’s Not Ann Dowd or Richard Dreyfuss!” – We Are Drunk. Energico Made Me Do It! – Rosanne Wishes. “Hey Pistachio, Check This Out, There’s a Talking Baby Out Here!” – Greatest Line. “My Tiny Blue Sweater!” “HOW LONG ARE THESE F&*CKING CREDITS?!?” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: “Hangover” by Dee Yan-Key


Amuse-Bouche: February 2nd 2019
Feb 02 2019 74 mins  
“Amuse-Bouche” – Episode 01 – February 2nd 2019 You all asked (in our imaginations) and we here at Nightcaps listened. Have you ever thought “Gee, I love the film commentary these three goobers offer, but I would love it even more in a shorter podcast format, so I can catch up and watch the movie, that these folks are talking about.” Well, have we got a surprise for you! From this point forward, we will be dividing our pop culture segments and movie reviews into two separate episodes. That’s the same amount of episode with technically more effort. In this way, you can keep up to date with Movie News, T.V. Obsessions, Theater Talk, Music Recommendations, and Casual (Oftentimes, drunken and delusional) Witty Banter. Haven’t seen the movie we are going to talk about, but can’t live without those confounded Nightcaps bois? No Problem. Just pick up the movie episode when you get that craving for something to go down real smooth. Welcome to “Amuse-Bouche.” Oh, and don’t worry we got you covered on that good, good, mouth feel….so sit back and listen. Tonight, on the Marquee: T.V. Court – Hot Wings with Sean Evans, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Great News, Russian Doll Movie Phone – Velvet Buzzsaw, The Autopsy of Jane Doe, Ideal Home, Stan and Ollie, How to Train Your Dragon 2, Aquaman, Polar/Arctic, Glass Mini Review, and Black Batman. Troddin the Boards – Rent: Live?, Groundhog Day, Hair, Shrek: The Musical, Proof, Biloxi Blues Disc Jockeys – Arctic Monkeys/The Black Keys, Vampire Weekend, Lizzo – Stayin Alive Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 27: Moulin Rouge!
Jan 27 2019 143 mins  
“Spectacular! Spectacular!” … These words aren’t in this film’s vernacular. Drinks aplenty don this event, you’ll be dumb…and that’s pretty much it. We continue our Critically Panneduary/So Bad it Hurts/Don’t Yuck My Yum marathon with Baz Luhrmann’s 2001 musical monstrosity Moulin Rouge! This film will have your head spinning, as if you had just chugged a bathtub of absinthe...we think Baz might have while he was directing. Follow the green fairy, and join the Children of the Revolution. Here at Nightcaps, we stand for all things Bohemian: Freedom, Beauty, Truth, Love, and Booze. This is a tale of sparkling diamonds, penniless sitar players, music that no one should ever have the rights to, really obvious coughing, and furious editing. Prepare to belt out your best love ballads from the top of Lucy the Elephant, just watch out for that opera singing moon and remember this lesson. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn…is just to drink and share a bad movie in return.” Tonight, on the Marquee: Outside it may be raining, but in here its entertaining! At the Moulin Rouge We have fun! V. Court – The Ted Bundy Tapes, Re: Mind, Carmen Sandiego, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Broad City, Rupaul’s Drag Race AS4 + S11, The Good Place, Steven Universe, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Scrubs, True Detective, You’re the Worst, Good Omens, American Gods, and NOS4A2 Movie Phone – The How to Train Your Dragon Series, Free Solo, Split, The Kid Who Would Be King, A Lesson in Love, Spirited Away, The Devil All the Time, Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile, Fyre, Glass, and Snow Dogs? Troddin the Boards – Mamma Mia, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, To Kill A Mockingbird, Alice By Heart, and Rent: Live. Disc Jockeys – Sharon Van Etten – Remind Me Tomorrow, Toro y Moi, James Blake, Wheezer, Bring Me the Horizon, Ariana Grande: 7 Rings, Miley Cyrus/Mark Ronson: Nothing Breaks Like A Heart, and Rex Orange County John Leguizamo as Toulouse, a dwarf, with a lisp, who is a magical sitar…that tells the Truth. Saltine…(cough) Satine the “Sparkling Diamond” or “Living Loony Tune.” Italian Opera Moon ™ Chocolat: MVP How I Met “Cwistian.” Very Obviously Dying from TB! Avengers Unbreakable: Krakowski, Kane, and Sedaris. “Shrek 3 …Wasn’t that Bad.” – Off the Record. “How the Hell you gonna climb that damn mountain?!?!” Viola Davis in Free Solo. “Bitch u a 7! I need a 10!” – Telling off Ted Bundy. “She’s CONFESSSSSSIIIIIIIINNNNNGGGG!!!!” – Jim Broadbent: Saving Grace. “ROXANNE!” – Tom Waits/Louie Armstrong Uncredited Role. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 26: Miami Connection
Jan 18 2019 133 mins  
Somewhere in Miami there’s a world of Taekwondo, cocaine, and ninja motorcycle gangs. In the lost 1987 “gem” Miami Connection director, actor, and grandmaster Y.K. Kim teaches the audience the pain and power that consumes your being when your body is one of the most dangerous weapons in the world. Dragon Sound, a rock band made up of only the goodest boys is the talk of the town. Unfortunately, the hundreds of gangs that make up the seedy underbelly of Miami/Orlando/Wherever want to take them down. There’s bound to be a fight or two, (as to if they are well shot…we here at Nightcaps leave that to you) some passionate romance, lost fathers, and a few engrossing training montages on this adventure. If you think yourself ready to “Go Against the Ninja” then pick up a katana and a slice of pizza…prepare yourself this movie is like no other! Tonight, on the Marquee: The “plot” of Miami Connection. So Bad…it’s Critically Panned…My Yum? V. Court – Watership Down, RPDR ASR, The Great British Bake Off, Derry Girls, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Happy, Erased, True Detective, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Good Place, You’re the Worst Movie Phone – As Above So Below, Green Room, Murder Room, Summer with Monika, Dreams, Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, Bumblebee, Mary Poppins Returns, and Snow Dogs? Troddin the Boards – To Kill a Mockingbird, Hadestown, Daniel Fish’s Oklahoma!, Starkids’ The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals, and an in-depth King Kong Disc Jockeys – Indie Harpists Mary Lattimore/Joanna Newsom, Kurt Vile’s Bottle it In, The 1975 – A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships, Lizzo’s “Juice”, and Houses’ “Fast Talk” The Journey to the West/Lost Akira Kurosawa “Masterpiece” that is Miami Connection. Dragon Sound…the World’s GREATEST BAND! A Gunfight/Ninja Massacre over some Ramen Cocaine. John, Jeff, Jim, Jake, Jane…What Creative Names…and Backstories? These Gangs…Kinda Suck at Fighting. The YMCA of Adult Semi-Nude ”Orpins.” B-Roll Footage of Beach Babes, Bikers, and Cops. Training or Practicing Falling? Salami Florida Swamp Rumble Fatalities Sometimes Violence is the Most Peaceful Option Media of a Certain Color. – Welcome to So Bad it Hurts, Critically Panneduary, “Don’t Yuck My Yum!?!”, or F*&k You It’s $%^uary! “I’m a big supporter of these stupid films…” – Mark on the Transformers series. “She’s back?!?! Get the Gun! Aim for the Umbrella!” – Miss Mary Poppins is Back Bitches! Supercalifragiliciousiridocyclitis! “Y.K. Kim the Yoda of our time.” – “Sploogin his art…” The Stealthiest Form of Ninja Travel … Motorcycle Gang!” “It’s Either this or Porn…” – Every Actor in this Movie. “GIVE ME THE DAMN LETTER!” – Masterclass Acting “Ain’t Seen No one since 1962.” – WTF IS GOING ON IN THIS MOVIE?!? “I Found My Father!” – That’s a Mailbox Jim. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Four Way" Provided By: William Ross Chernoff's Nomads




Episode 24: Snow Day
Dec 23 2018 139 mins  
There’s been a drop in barometric pressure that only 90s kids will truly understand. Cancel all plans, don’t go to work, and there can’t possibly be any school today because we at Nightcaps at the Theater are listening to Nickelodeon Studio’s 2000 pre-teen comedy Snow Day. The holidays have come at last, just in time to see Chevy Chase white-knuckle it through this film filled to the brim with murderous children with far too much time on their hands, teenage romance, disgruntled weather men, stressed business moms, Iggy Pop ice rinks and more! The nostalgia is strong with this one, but give us a listen, and decide for yourself if you still side with your inner child, or the disgruntled Snow Plan Man. We know you love whales so we dug out this snow bank in the shape of one… What do you mean you like zebras?!?! Tonight, on the Marquee: Holiday Woes, Fart Sounds, Snownuts, and more during this Snow Day. V. Court – Erased, Rupaul’s Drag Race, All Stars: Season 4, Big British Bake Off, Watership Down, Deal or No Deal, and Jackie Fox of The Runaways on Jeopardy Movie Phone – A Shoe Addict’s Christmas, A Christmas Prince, Hallmark Movies, The Clovehitch Killer, Icarus, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, Wild Strawberries, To Joy, Summer Interlude, Meet Me Saint Louis, It’s a Wonderful Life, Gremlins, Bird Box, Nerve, Aquaman Rant, Shazam! and Spiderman Enter the Spiderverse. Troddin the Boards – Company and Mamma Mia. Disc Jockeys – Toto’s Africa by Pitbull, Kingdom Hearts Discography Hikaru Utada/Yoko Shimomura/Skrillex, Fat Daddy, and A John Water’s Christmas. Fart Noise…. It’s a Snow Day. Snow as a Deity. All Hail the Being of Snow! These Kids are Murders! Wish Upon Snow Day Thinner Rules of Magic/Demonology. Millennial Fat Shaming? Amanda Please! Why is Iggy Pop at a Snow Rink in a Neck Brace? Snow Angel Analogies Gone Wrong. Avengers: Christmas Hallmark Movie: Civil War “Never Meet Your Idols…Stephen King Lied to Me!” – Don’t Watch Bird Box. Aquaman/Battlefield Earth: Part II + “Welcome to the Stage Jason Samoa.” “Did Somebody Ring the Dinkster?!?!?” “Was That a Fart Sound?” – Secret Phrase of the Film. Unadopted Minors. Stuck In an Orphanage. Please Adopt Us! – Snow Day Sequel “Step 1: Kill Snow Plow Man. Step:2 Profit, Step 3: Snow Day Part II!” – The Perfect Plan. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 23: The Muppet's Christmas Carol
Dec 16 2018 134 mins  
It’s only a few more sleeps till Christmas on this episode of Nightcaps at the Theater. Get out your puppets and put away your humbugs because YAAAAAAY we are watching 1992’s The Muppet’s Christmas Carol, just in time for the holidays. All your favorite Muppets Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Gonzo, Rizzo, and Michael Caine are here with a unique Henson/Dickins twist. Stop by Fozziwig’s Rubber Chicken Factory, drink and be merry! However, don’t dawdle and be a Scrooge, if so, you might just be visited by three spirits, each set upon teaching you the error of your ways. So, cook the plump Christmas, goose. Listen, and know us better men! God bless us…everyone. (Insert Statler and Waldorf laugh) Tonight, on the Marquee: LIGHT THE LAMP, NOT THE RAT! It’s The Muppet’s Christmas Carol. V. Court – Rupaul’s All Stars Season 4, Jenny Nicholson, The Good Place, Brooklyn 99 Movie Phone – Us, Spider-man: Enter the Spiderverse, The Downton Abbey Movie, Schindler’s List, and The Cat in the Hat, and The Grinch. Troddin the Boards – Hadestown and King Kong. Disc Jockeys – Kingdom Hearts Soundtrack/Hikaru Utada, Vince Staples, The Zebro Christmas Album, Soccer Mommy, Adult Mom, Jim Jones, Destroyer, The New Pornographers, and Scott Walker. Mickey Rooney, Mickey Rourke…Andy Rooney! Michael Caine as Serviceable, Shakespearean, Scrooge…for the paycheck. Gonzo X Rizzo/Beaker X Honeydew/Statler X Waldorf. What’s a Muppet’s Insurance like? Fozziwig’s Rubber Chicken Factory … you got ta be sh*&^in me! Muppet History X Kermit’s Christmas Skat. Miss Piggy on the Lamb. “What I find…I don’t know the most spellbound…” – The Writing Process. From the Disney Vault … Schindler’s List?!?!? “Weeaboo! Weeaboo! Weeaboo!” – Nerd or Ambulance. “Starts with a P…describes hipsters?” – Pretensions A CD Player that looks like a turntable! – Genius or Insane. “In the Book…” – Need it on a T-Shirt. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 22: Moonstruck
Dec 09 2018 129 mins  
Snap out of it! And snap into a new episode of Nightcaps at the Theater! On tonight’s episode, all we can advise is “Guarda la Luna!”, Look to the Moon, because 1987’s Moonstruck is ready to take your heart and possibly your hand. Just as wolves howl at the moon, so too must we review classic movies staring Cher. Another one of our holiday picks, this John Patrick Shanley written romantic farce awakens the inner Italian American in all of us. Join Loretta Castorini in her trials/tribulations when it comes to balancing her love life and typical Brooklyn bound family. When Loretta falls for the troubled baker/opera lover/brother of her fiancé, she goes through an emotional crisis, that parallels her home life. Can she manage to come to terms with her love, her parents’ infidelity, and still make it to the opera to meet a young Nick Cage? You will have to listen to find out. You are all animals! Wolves! Take us to the Bed! We don’t care! Just turn off that damn Vikki Carr record! Tonight, on the Marquee: A love story from NYC to Sicily … 1987’s Moonstruck. V. Court – The Good Place, Cheers, Big Mouth, Hot Ones, Rupaul’s Holislay Spectacular, All Stars Season 4, and American Gods: Season 2. Movie Phone – Shrek: Retold, Shrek Film Franchise, Between Two Ferns, A Ship to India, Wreck it Ralph 2: Ralph Breaks the Internet, SpiderMan: Into the Spiderverse, Avengers 5, 101 Dalmatians Reboot, The Lion King Live Action, and Life Size 2. Troddin the Boards –Shrek the Musical, Beetlejuice, King Kong, Suessical, and To Kill a Mockingbird, and Mamma Mia. Off to the Races with Disc Jockeys – Spring Awakening, Run DMC, LL Cool J, Will Smith, and Sandman. Gimme, Gimmie, Gimmie an Affair after Midnight. Italian Families: Eating, Talking, Shouting…so many good times. Fake Hands, and Passion for Bread. You are a Wolf, take me to the bed! Thicc Stacks of Cash…belongs in a Museum 80s Cher Smooth Seduction Jazz Getting Ready Montage. Edgy vs. Alternative Nick Cage. The Chaos behind “The Perfect Scene.” “Shrekophilia” – The newest kink? RDJ Filmography – The highs and lows of being high and low on coke. “Nowadays, you can’t bring a young girl home alone with your ventriloquist dummy.” – Fun and Fancy Free. “What are numbers, Baby?!?” – Cher as a bookie. “How Long Must I Wait?” –For Death to Claim Me? “Get me the BIG KNIFE!” – Ronnie STAHP!!! “Watch! The House!” – Ya Stunad! Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G



Episode 21:Le père Noël est une ordure/Santa Claus is a Bastard
Dec 02 2018 108 mins  
Bonjour, Mon Ami, tonight Nightcaps at the Theater is going back to Paris, France, with the raunchy, raucous, frolicking farce that is 1982’s Le père Noël est une ordure or Santa Claus is a Bastard/Stinker. If you ever have had a rough time during the holidays or are just down in general then why don’t you call in to our “SOS Distress Friendship” Suicide Prevention Hotline. We are all here for you during this holiday season, as long as we aren’t stuck in an elevator, breeding rabbits, eating oysters, or throwing random corpse pieces to zoo animals. What was that last one…oh, never mind. Strap in to see just how homeless ruffians, stuffy telephone operators, and a drag queen manages to survive one of the most magical nights of the year. Trust us your family has nothing on the crass, vulgar mouths, stuffed into this French Film and if you beg to differ…mon dieu. Press the Button! Press the Button! Bang! Tonight, on the Marquee: What is going on?!? Is it Christmas?!?! Thanks for the Oysters! We Watch 1982’s “Le père Noël est une ordure” or Santa Claus is a Stinker. V. Court – Maniac, Rupaul’s Holli-slay Spectacular + AS4, Lindsay Ellis, Brows Held High, Movie Nights, Snake Discovery, Daredevil, Nick Cage, and Jessica Jones. Movie Phone – Happy Death Day 2 U, Ingmar Berman’s Kris, The Seventh Seal, The Favorite, The Holiday, The Grinch (2018), Hardcore Henry and, Upgrade. Troddin the Boards – To Kill a Mockingbird, Hadestown, and Seussical Disc Jockeys – thank u, next! Meghan Trainor, Billy Porter, Earl Sweatshirt Some Rap Songs, Meek Mill, Mitski, Beirut Jennifer Coolidge Impressions. We Love You Frenchies, but Mike Myers is Canadian! Pimp slapping 8 year olds? I’m here for it. Bad Santa Prequel? Simon Says and Trumpet Playing, All while having to Pee, in a Stuck Elevator! Preskovic and his “Shitty” Meals. One Basket of Oysters. This Poor Bunny! The Little Death… Breaks Chair Over Head! “Speaking of Netflix “Bom Boms” – Kevin Spacey STAHP! “DO YOU WANT TO WATCH THE GRINCH?!?!” – Should we watch Battlefield Earth again? SLAPPY AND THE STINKERS!!! – Future Must Watch. Is this N.J. or Paris? Tits and Pig Out! – Bob Ross didn’t teach us this. Why is there Grease in my Pocket? – Us Every Friday Night. A Basket of General Tso’s Please! Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 20: Battlefield Earth
Nov 25 2018 139 mins  
Listen Up Mananimals, Todays episode of Nightcaps at the Theater has us traveling to the distant plant of Earth. “Do you want lunch?!?!?” Even if you answered no, Ratbrains, strap in for this cinema masterpiece that follows the in peril human race. It is the distant year 3000. The Psychlos have overtaken us and it’s up to Johnny Goodboy Tyler to use his wits and will to take the planet back. John Travolta is here to slap and ponder extemporaneously in a Bob Marley Wig. All in a mission to steal gold/conquer the Earth. Put on your breathing apparatus and make sure you have a turn in the flight simulator, it is time to go to war! We humans have suffered far too long and you as moviegoers have a duty to join us in this this melodramatic, comedic, drama. Piece of cake…it can only be Battlefield Earth (2000) Tonight, on the Marquee: The Pulse-Pounding, Piece of Cake Eating, Intrepid Sci-Fi Adventure that is Battlefield Earth V. Court – Monty Python’s Flying Circus, AHS: Apocalypse, RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 4, At Home with Amy Sedaris, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, and Maniac Movie Phone – How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000), The NeverEnding Story, The Page Master, Hausu, Dumbo, The Lion King, Toy Story 4, Mowgli, Detective Pikachu, Cam, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, Suspiria -Mini Critique, and 2001: A Space Odyssey, Jingle All The Way. Troddin the Boards – Parade, Seussical, The Prom, Diana: The Musical, My Fair Lady, and The Macy’s Day Parade. Off to the Races with Disc Jockeys – Lets Eat Grandma, Rebecca Black, Christmas Music/Bing Crosby, Delilah, Vincent, Anderson.Paak, Black Belt Eagle Scout, Los Campesinos, and Lizzo. Oh No! Not this Shit Show! Battlefield Earth. The Shindler’s List of Sci-Fi Films. Laurence Fishburne vs. Forest Whitaker “Endless Options for Renewal!” Rats, Part of a Balanced Breakfast. Hooked on Cronics Knowledge Machine ™ Cow Sharp Shooting. Piece of Cake: The Movie One American Bomb Did That?!?!? Oh, Well. Look Annie! I’m a Hawk!” #Popcorn Problems “Where is that Dikachu?” – “Detective Pikachu Trailer Summary. “Call Me By Another Name 2…Again” Twitter Feud Between Delilah and Nightcaps. “Do you want Lunch?!?!” – The Immortal Question “I graduated at the top of my class!” – Everyone who didn’t see this movie. “Do a Barrel Roll!” – Away from this film. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 19: Rosemary's Baby
Nov 04 2018 125 mins  
On this episode of Nightcaps of the Theater our first annual Frightcaps celebration comes to a loudly crying close, but a new life emerges. Roman Polanski’s Rosemary’s Baby utters it’s first coo, cloven hooves and all. One of the most controversial horror movies of all time is on the end of our pitchforks this episode, and we aren’t afraid to cling tight to our kitchen knives as we discuss uneven relationships, the true merits of Tannis Root, and the bumbling buffoonery of a bunch of senile Satanists. So, get cozy, grab yourself a mug of chocolate “mouse”, put on your most comfortable maternity wear, and prepare your Scrabble tiles … “Every one of them witches” …whatever could that mean? La…la…la…la… Tonight, on the Marquee: The Satanic, yet Motherly lullaby of Rosemary’s Baby. T. V. Court – Castlevania Season 2, Curious Creations of Christine McConnell, Over the Garden Wall, The Good Place, American Horror Story: Train Wreck, The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, The Haunting of Hill House. Movie Phone – Hausu, Hellraiser, First Man Troddin the Boards – My Fair Lady at Lincoln Center. Aaron Sorkin’s To Kill A Mockingbird. 1776, Parade. Off to the Races with Disc Jockeys – Thom York’s Suspiria, Neheh Cherry, The 1975. Polanski, Satanic Panic, Manson Murders, Cursed Films, NYC, and Rosemary’s Baby. Mia Farrow’s Early Vocals – The Scariest Thing in the Film? Rosemary and Guy: Worst Couple Ever. Guy: Worst Actor Ever/Biggest Asshole. The Castevets: A New Farce. Sleeping with Satan?!?!? That’s a DEAL-BREAKER! Cooking With Rosemary…and its Done! “Love That Chicken from Satan!” Hutch…The Master of Disguise? Baby’s Got a Knife and Connecting the Frightcap Themes. “Sister James…I have such doubts!” – Jonathan’s Drag Persona. “Best Brothels in New Jersey” – Our Latest Upcoming Podcast. “If I were a WOMAN!!” – The Last Unicorn’s Greatest Hits. “These are Shelves.” – Simple, Sweet Rosemary. “Hotter than Hell Flamin Hot Cheetos.” “Drink Your Oval-tine?” – It’s an Anagram. “It’s just Lipton’s Tea…now Drink Up!” – The kind, old devil worshipers from Next Door. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 18: Suspiria
Oct 21 2018 135 mins  
This evening, on Nightcaps get out your ballet shoes and prepare to dance for your life. Dario Argento’s horror classic Suspiria takes the stage. This dance academy is as strange, as it is beautiful and there are secrets and dangers lurking around every corner. They say people whose names begin with s are snakessss and there’s been plenty of rumors around these parts about witches for hundreds of years. When you hear the beating of wings or rushed whispers, run. Only sharp doom lies in wait for those foolish to linger. However, if you dare to search for answers beware, many dancers have sought the truth through their art, but the only partner they met was death. Tonight, on the Marquee: The Writhing, Gory, Magical, Fairy Tale that Suspiria T. V. Court is in Session! – Maniac, Big Mouth, Dancing Queen, AHS: Apocalypse … is actually good?!?!? The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, The Haunting of Hill House, Good Omens, American Vandal, Star Wars: Resistance, Pushing Daises, and Bojack Horseman Answering the Movie Phone – Malevolent, Under the Skin, Halloween, Suspiria, Pet Semetary, Terrifier, Murder Party, The Death of Stalin, and The Miami Connection A Star is Born – Mini Review. Da…Da…Da…Da…Da…WITCH! Time for Suspiria The Three Mothers…I mean types of wine. The Secret Farce of Suzy Bannion. The R.K.O. from Miss Tanner! Romanian Lurch Safe Words: Dark Tower and Aunt Ida. Muppspiria – The Perfect Film? MANIC MAGGOTS AND BAT ATTACK! These Witches and these Dancers are kinda … Dumb. “Suspiria…the darkness in your eyes” – Our Disturbia Cover. Stupid Clown Based Deaths ™ YouTube plugs: History Buffs/Maven of the Eventide “Aren’t All Wives On and Off Lovers?” “THE AMERICAN GIRL MUST DIE! SICKNESS! SICKNESS!” “Who needs this much barbed wire? We’re at a dance academy!” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 17: The Shining
Sep 27 2018 144 mins  
Nightcaps at the Theater’s first annual Frightfest continues with one of the greatest horror films of all time. Bundle up and hold tight to your axe, Stanley Kubrick’s 1980 adaptation of Stephen King’s The Shining is barreling down the empty hotel hall toward us. Unsettling, atmospheric, and a Looney Tunes cartoon gone awry, are all apt descriptions of this iconic movie. We here at Nightcaps can’t decide what’s scarier. Jack Torrance’s violent spells spurned by his seething alcoholism? Sinister specters lurking behind every carpeted turn or grimy shower curtain? The overdrawn closeups on Danny Lloyd’s horrified face? Or Shelly Duvall’s choice of costume? Don’t stray too far into the maze and stay away from Room 237 unless you want to come and play with us…forever…and ever. Tonight, on the Marquee: An Invitation to The Overlook Pokémon Go, Spiderman, The Emmys, American Vandal Season 2, Big British Baking Show, Maniac, Memes and YouTubers, American Horror Story: Apocalypse, The Twilight Zone Reboot, Maniac, Big Mouth Season 2, Telltale Bankruptcy, Minecraft On Netflix, The Good Cop, BoJack Horseman, The Good Place, Better Call Saul, Fargo. A Star is Born, The Room on YouTube, Suspiria, Halloween, Vomit Performance Art, Madeline’s Madeline, Captain Marvel, First Man, and AMC Stubs. Should we Split it Into Parts? … No. The Exorcist … too scurry. Stanley Kubrick – The Shining Nicholson vs. Nicholson Anjelica Houston has been around. Doctor Sleep Spoilers. Discussing Scatman and Jon’s Peter and the Wolf Wendy’s Fashion Statements. Native American Imagery, Big Wheels, Typewriters. Don’t Wake Daddy! Dark Tower Shit King Marvel Cinematic Universe. Correcting Children and Reading Bad Scripts Dick’s Untimely End. Mallet vs. Axe. Bash vs. Slash. “She was a Sister so I Kissed Her.” “Im sorry, I’m speaking in memes.” “Settin fire to the Reel.” “Dick Hollerin!” “Sky Firrera is Guy Fieri.” “Medium vs. Media.” “Stephen King’s Poundcake” “Dick Suck Kubrick’s Dick” *Take a Shot Every Time “In the book..” of “The Dark Tower” is Mentioned. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 16: The Thing
Sep 10 2018 122 mins  
Imagine if you, will your line of work take you to the cold isolated coasts of Antarctica. You aren’t alone, but judging from the sounds of the howling arctic wind, you might as well be. The men you work with are more associates rather than friends, good men…. fine in the initial scope of things, but that’s to be expected. Its so cold out here your piss could freeze mid-stream. Things go bump in the night, around here, that’s just your mind playing tricks … you tell yourself. That kennel of dogs has to be barking at something though … right? Tonight, on Nightcaps, we are off to the cold recesses of the world where the only thing to keep you warm is some whiskey. Something is out there and we aren’t sure who or what we can trust. Keep your friends close, but your flamethrower closer. We are watching John Carpenter’s 1982 horror classic, The Thing. Very Superstitious… Tonight, on the Marquee: A Cold, Desperate Line of Work. TheaterCast with Mark and Jon Disenchanted, Honey We Shrunk Ourselves, The Emoji Movie, The Little Hours, Sharp Objects Finale, The Castle Rock Slog, Show Burnout, The End of the Fucking World, Big British Bakeoff, Nanette, Tig, American Horror Story, A Star is Born, Frozen the Musical, My Fair Lady, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Unfriended 3: Searching, Alpha, Spiderman 3, and Ash vs. The Evil Dead. The Thing: The Budget from Another World. T. fucks up The Thing Norgs vs. Swedes vs. Americans. Job list of the Research Station. Academy Award Winning Huskies. Does the Dog Die? Atari: Assimilation MacReady X Fuchs Wilford Brimley’s got a Gun! Noose Mood. Cardboard Walls and Real Dynamite. What’s In an Ending? Pretty Little Big Liars. Great Foley Work. – Matt enters the fray. We Killed Burt Reynolds. “The largest screen in the country…my ass.” Improvised Poltergeist Scene. 1980s YouTube. Fake Love. Childs vs. MacReady “C’mon Gang! Jinkies! Nubs. Sorry, for being offensive. Pizza Rating Lives Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 15: Sleepaway Camp
Sep 03 2018 69 mins  
Dear Mom and Dad, I’ve been at Sleepaway Camp for almost three weeks now and I’m getting very scared! There’s a cook who got horribly burned by some hot corn water, and we had to go without dinner for a week. The baseball games here seem to go on for an eternity. Kenny supposedly drowned last weekend …there were snakes coming out of his mouth…so we aren’t even allowed to go swimming anymore. Also there’s this girl Judy and I’m pretty concerned that her hair is slowly developing sentience. Anyways, only a few more days till I can go home…but I gotta run, tonight we are sleeping outside, under the stars. I’d be more worried since theres a killer on the loose and all, but at the rate this summer is going, could it get any worse? Tonight on Nightcaps…. Oh, sorry, I mean Frightcaps at the Theater we give our regards to summer and lead into our first Spooktacular episode with 1983’s underappreciated cinema train wreck, my personal favorite bad movie Sleepaway Camp. So, join us here on Nightcaps during the next handful of films for some chills, thrills, and in the case of this movie... riotous bouts of laughter Tonight, on the Marquee: A Letter to our Parents, some Doers Spooktacular Intro to Frightcaps at the Theater The Therapy of Horror. The Academy Award goes to DELORE! Aunt Martha is in a Different Movie. How did Ricky turn out so sane? Judy and her Sentient Hair Beast. #Corngate Imagine Dragons Tangent Merch Ideas. 80s Fashion on Display. Unending Baseball Hell. BEES!!! David Lynch Dream Sequence. Daddy Issues and Shower Scenes Mustache Cop: Henry Cavill Origins What a Twist?!? “Who Died Recently?” “Richard…Angelaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” “JOHN!” – Lenny the Lover’s Final Words “Who likes Short Shorts?” “Is Paul Gay?” “Eat Shit and Live, Bill!” – The Greatest Insult Ever? “It’s You?” – Every Slasher Flick Ever. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 14: Before Sunrise
Aug 22 2018 99 mins  
On this episode, things are getting sultry in the streets of Vienna. City of music, love, and Mumblecore? 1995’s Before Sunrise takes Ethan Hawke, Julie Delpy, a whole lot of cerebral questions and blends them together into a romantic comedy. Join Mark and Jonathan as they scoff at the pretentiousness of these two strangers, but mainly Ethan Hawke’s Jesse. Matt is more open to conversations on relationships, religion, and potpourri, essentially the Céline of the group. Either way, this movie is truly surprising in its simplicity and we encourage viewers to join us as we step off a train, on a whim, and into one elucidating night. Let the harpsichord play and the stolen wine flow! Tonight, on the Marquee: An Existential Opener and Some Improvisation. John Adams, Young Pope, Disenchanted with Disenchanted, Sharp Objects, Fargo, Trial and Error. Matt Damon as an Informant!? Crazy Rich Asians, Three Identical Strangers, Eighth Grade, and Amy Matt’s over Mumblecore?!?!…fake out. Dark Celebrity Stories with Jonathan Kwiatkowski It’s Strangers On A Train, starring the Von Trapp Family Singers! Slow T.V. or Trainspotting Describe your first sexual experience…I’ll wait. Looking up Wikipedia facts for First Dates. Ethan Hawke’s Hand Choreography/Reading Palms. Milkshake Poets + Mean Pinball Acting. Acting Homeless isn’t Sexy. Identifying Harpsichords. A Nightcaps Rating System. Rethinking the ending of Before Sunrise “Then I’ll start my own podcast with blackjack and hookers!” “T.V?!” “He’s trying to get the little boys out of there.” “Moderate to Severe Illiteracism.” “Gimmie, Gimmie, Gimmie a Movie After Midnight!” “This film will make you tolerate Ethan Hawke.” “More like waning poetic?” “I can’t believe it.” “Why didn’t she just leave?” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G



Episode 13: Unforgiven
Aug 08 2018 109 mins  
Tonight, we are three men on a mission of revenge. One who can’t stay on a horse, one with an unsteady hand, and one who can’t see worth a damn. Somehow, we’ll find our mark in 1992’s Unforgiven. Expect to see Clint Eastwood falling off a horse, whores with hearts of gold, a poorly built house, and death on a shitter. This film takes typical western tropes and beats them senseless, like a gun toting stranger, stepping into Big Whiskey! Law is crooked around here, just like Little Bill’s freshly built porch, be on your guard, people round here shoot first, and grieve never. Tonight, on the Marquee: Sticking to Your Jameses Gunnzez Trial and Error vs. Crime and Punishment, Castle Rock, and the Christopher Robin I Forgot the Movie! Mark is still Unforgiven Clint Eastwood is Old! Water is Wet! How Old is His Mom? Whore? Sex Worker? Greek Chorus? The Nicest Little Whorehouse in Wyoming Playing Against Western Tropes Take a shot when the old man falls off a horse. “My Wife is Dead” – The Best Excuse? Richard Harris aka the OG Musical Theater Playboy Gets the Shit Kicked Out of Him. Tall Tales, Urban Legends, and Here Say Hey there Delilah, your face looks kinda shitty. Meanwhile, at the shitter…we fear our mortality. Neds Daid? Ned’s Dad? Neds Dead? “Who am I to throw the first tweet?” “I just want to see Sarah Paulson smoke a cigarette!” “I believe the term is four fiddy…” “This is a long Fu^&ing Intro!” “Pooh is a Ride or Die Bi&*h.” “That’s not Christian Slater!” “There ain’t no eagle! Dumbass!” “Love Young Clint Daddy!” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 12: Female Trouble
Aug 01 2018 78 mins  
Good Morning Baltimore! What the Hell are you doing?!? Put those Hairspray cans away, we’re going to the seedier side of Baltimore, where thieves and shitkickers run amok. This episode is certainly NSFW, as tonight on the marquee is John Waters’s 1974 midnight movie sensation “Female Trouble.” Join the brash Dawn Davenport on a morality tale including the perils of high school, rape, raising a child, thieving and fashion, divorce, kidnappings, murder, and the almighty pursuit of art. Put on your best skin tight catsuit, some Cha Cha heels, and take a hit of liquid eyeliner! I can almost guarantee you’ve never seen a trashier film and I know you are going to love every minute of it…better have a barf bag next to you though, just to be safe. Tonight, on the Marquee: Horrible Impressions, “The Bloody Harry Hole Affair”, Trail and Error, My Friend Dahmer, Summer of Sam, Mary Queen of Scots, and Glass Mission Impossible: Shitshow…reloads fist. The “Waterverse” A Brief History of John Waters and Divine aka Harris Glenn aka “The Most Beautiful Woman in the World” The Morality Tale of Dawn Davenport Cha Cha Heels inspired “Robot” Eating a Meatball Sandwich Right Out In Class, up next, Umbilical Chords AUNT IDA! AUNT IDA! AUNT IDA! What were we drinking? Finding Happiness in the Auto Industry The Perils of a Hari Krishna Lifestlye A Glamorous Trip to the Electric Chair NSFW: Patti LuPone Nudity Tangent + the Whole Episode “Pooh Bear has been there when none of all aint.” – A Glimpse into Jonathan’s Childhood. Eating Shit to the tune of “How Much is that Doggy in the Window” – What to expect in the Watersverse. “Let’s Get Fucked!” – Matt’s reaction before the film. “Gasp!” – Matt’s reaction after the film. “Did I trick you?” “The world of the heterosexual is a sick and boring life!” “6.5 out of 10” – We rate the genitallia of this movie. “OH, A LITTLE STAGE!” -Every actor’s dream “WHO WANTS TO DIE FOR ART?” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 11: Let the Right One In
Jul 25 2018 112 mins  
“Squeal like a pig!” Tonight’s episode of Nightcaps takes us to the frozen winters of Sweden for a romantic horror film that will make your blood run cold…whatever blood you might have left. Who’s that knocking at the door? It’s 2008’s “Låt Den Rätte Komma In” better known to Westerners as “Let the Right One In.” This film has plenty of 80s nostalgia, killer CGI apartment cats, a better love story than Twilight, and all those fucked up emotions that made childhood worth it in the first place. A word of warning: be careful when you walk alone at night, there’s a killer on the loose and all the victims have been bled dry, and you might just have your heart stolen? Tonight, on the Marquee: “California Love” Cum Inside My Mind: A Sexy Psychological Thriller Robin Williams, GLOW, Sharp Objects, Marlene Dietrich, Jaws, The Poseidon Adventure, Spike Lee, The Greasy Strangler, Game Night, and More. A Jurassic/James Gunn Rant Harold and Maude and Jar Jar Binks OG Vampyr Swatted #METOO Serial Killer Boyfriend Lootbox Matt Lived with a Vampire in College CGI CAT ATTACK Get a Hatchimal instead Oskar don’t give a f%&k Fun in a swimming Pool “Too many pollytooks in Wollyhood” “After Mr. Rodgers took whippets.” “Where’s Apache Chief?!” “The Way Back Machine, at it again…” That universal moan when we find out we aren’t watching The Snowman He don’t even know what movie we watching!” “Fuck Batman!” Jonathan can’t ever remember Swedish Names Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 10: Lost in Translation
Jul 04 2018 121 mins  
“Moshi, Moshi!” Tonight’s Episode of Nightcaps is off on a red-eye flight to Japan. Put on your best orange camo shirt, and blazer, as you prepare to take part in a Suntory Whiskey commercial that will most certainly pay for your new renovations and finally please your significant other. Tonight, we are strangers in a foreign land and we are all Lost In Translation. Sophia Coppola’s 2003 “rom com” marks a star turn for Bill Murray, seventeen-year-old Scarlett Johansson, and Anna Faris. It’s Mark’s Birthday and he insisted we drink some whiskey, destroy some ellipticals, and “Lip his stockings?” If you too are having trouble sleeping maybe you should venture out into the mysterious world of all night arcades and karaoke bars, where the Sakura bloom. Other than that, let’s all consider our love lives and who we are, because what happens in Nippon stays in Nippon. Tonight, on the Marquee: Filming A Suntory Whiskey Commercial Kingdom Hearts: A Support Group Westworld, Breaking Bad Retrospective, Drag Race, Pose, Sense8, Suspiria, Halloween, Hereditary, and more! Matrix: Rebooted The Polanski Effect The Greasy Strangler the Review that Almost Was What Did He Whisper? We Get Lost in Translation That Wasn’t Scarlett Johansson! For Relaxing Times, Make It Suntory Times. Sophia Coppola Snags Bill Murray. Anna Faris Got Robbed! The Real Life Celebrity Scandal that Could Have Inspired the Film. Taiko Drum Panic Plot Inconsistency. Love and Marriage and Dogs The Power of Ambiguous Endings “You’re more of a Dork than a Nerd…” – Categorizing Mark He was in a Power Rangers fan film – Mark on James Van Der Beek’s Career. “My nipples were erect.” – Jonathan while watching Herditary “He’ll Drive those Babies and He Loves Low Hanging Fruit.” – Kevin Spacey’s Career “Is it Rat Race?/Was The Pianist in Japan?” – Matt Questions Life “Open On Ass.” “Lip My Stockings!” “Lock and Lol!” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 09: Harold and Maude
Jun 06 2018 121 mins  
Tonight’s episode of Nightcaps at the Theater is a celebration of dichotomy. Young vs. Old, Highs vs. Lows, and Life Vs. Death. In honor of a recent birthday and in preparation for the countless new possibilities that lay ahead, host Jonathan Kwiatkowski, has dusted off his favorite film of all time for his fellow cohosts and beloved listeners. On the Marquee this round is Hal Ashby’s effervescent, yet charmingly maudlin comedy Harold and Maude (1971). Join us as we take a look into Harold’s penchant for driving hearses, attempting suicide, and playing the banjo on a journey of self-discovery. A voyage inspired by none other than the oderific toting, doughnut wheeling, life loving, Maude. Through the discussions pertaining to disaster dates, funeral squatting, and anti-war sentiments, dear listeners, don’t forget to take a page out of Maude’s book too and “L-I-V-E! Live! Otherwise, you got nothing to talk about in the locker room.” Tonight, on the Marquee: A Recreated Dating Questionnaire from the Computer Dating Service Join the Rosanne Cancellation Party! Danny DeVito as Rosanne?!? Introduction of the Glass Lady/Thinking of Recurring Characters Halloween Bash 2018 Plans and Female Led Werewolf Movies Deadpool 2 and Solo: A Star Wars Story Review…Milking the Bantha A Brief History of Harold and Maude Fake Suicides and Real Melodrama Vivian Pickles “Consummate Glenn Close Knockoff” Jon Gets A Little Too Excited and Spills Some Wine Enjoying Being Dead More Than Being Alive: The Jonathan Kwiatkowski Memoir “I Am For Peace!” The Impeccable History found in The Sound of Music What’s Your Dream Suicide Attempt? “Is Maude the OG Manic, Pixie, Dream Girl?” “When Chita Rivera Calls You a Racist … you should just end it.” “I thought she was Linda Hunt” – Mark’s Critique of Ruth Gordon “I Think this is My Favorite Suicide attempt in the Film” “They’re Smoking a hooker!” – Matt’s ideal post-date Activity “Did we forget to mention her being f&*ked by a swan?” – The Rape of Rome “That Nose Could Take Me to Mars.” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 08: La Grande Vadrouille
May 23 2018 80 mins  
Tonight on Nightcaps, we are off to German occupied France, for a surprisingly lighthearted comedic romp through WWII in La Grande Vadrouille, also known as “Don’t Look Now…We’re Being Shot At!” You may not have seen or even heard of this film, but it truly isn’t one to miss. It’s got it all, including the following: A Turkish Bathhouse, An Inglorious Bastards style assassination attempt, a Pumpkin Throwing Nun, and the most well-mannered Nazis you’ll ever see. See famous French actor, Louis de Funès give a masterclass performance as an orchestra conductor, who has simply had enough. Or else, have you ever wanted to see a British officer passing convincingly as a woman in drag? Or a cross-eyed Nazi behind the barrel of a machine gun? If so, then, “take a stroll” with us as we discuss the film. And Make sure to take a shot every time Jon and Mark “Ooooh” and “Aaah” in response to Matt’s suave command of the French language. “Oh hon, hon, hon!” Tonight, on the Marquee: Surprisingly, The Flintstones, didn’t age as well as one, might have hoped. Fox: Boo! NBC: Yay! The Happytime Murders … Hollywood is running out of ideas. Amelie 2: As Directed by Quentin Tarantino Breast Cancer Awareness with Nightcaps Sea Lion Linguistics To Be or Not to Be Vibes with a Dash of Grey Gardens and Inglorious Bastards. The quick, tight, farcical nature of a good comedic gag. McIntosh in Drag and Gay Panic It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, World Rat Race Pumpkin Nun, Turning Men Into Wine, and Knowing One’s Way Around the Whip What was up with that weird German Birthday Chair Game? Recognizing characters by their Professions and Tropes. Those Poor Horses This Plane Escape wouldn’t “Fly” in Real Life. Matt’s Cultured Linguistic Analysis and Box Office Calculations “While Banging a Muppet Hooker…” “When you Occupy A Country You Best Speak Three Languages!” “The Beds Are Good!” StanislavXAugustine Dat Stanisalv Headshot tho. “The Germans Are Coming!” “Pitter Patter!” “Viva La France! Viva La Vida!” Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 07: Unbreakable
May 09 2018 105 mins  
“What’s that in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No… its just M. Night Shyamalan’s intro to his superhero saga, 2000’s Unbreakable. Join us as we discuss the impact of superheroes throughout fiction and reality, laugh a little bit too hard when Samuel L. Jackson takes a tumble, and try to deduce why everyone is speaking in whispers. Is this a “comic book” movie? Are there any stupider kryptonites than water? Take a shot every time you think “M. Knight is being pretentious with the camera the camera again.” Who will win in this dramatic showdown Bruce Willis’s deadpan acting or the man who literally drives a bubble car? You’ll have to go to where people are to find out…or hop aboard this crazy train with us here at Nightcaps. Tonight, on the Marquee: An Ode to the Inner Superhero. Some sound drinking advice and the death of sound issues! “Comic Berks” impact. M. Night’s topsy turvey ,“cinematography.” David Dumb’s magazine Banter Flirting. What a catch? Limited Edition? Really? What a nerd! A brief Mugging. Bruce Willis’s Naughty Vision We all need a movie of Samuel L. Jackson falling. Do you even lift, Dad? Creepy Pool Stories with Teacher. Just a casual after dinner Mexican Standoff with your son. Tales from the Comic Book Crypt with Mark. What a Twist…I guess? Daddy Issues and Sequel Setup. “Don’t call him Kimmy Schmidt!” Mark’s Back of the Vista Box Quote The Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme, plays in the distance. “AHHHHHHH!” – Matt’s impersonation of Samuel L. Jackson falling “I can’t play I’m gonna go work out with my dad!” – Choices. “We’ll get to that.” – Nightcap’s Slogan. “I have nipples Greg, could you lift me?” “I’ll just shoot him once.” – The Best Line. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 06: Labyrinth
Apr 11 2018 110 mins  
“You remind of the Babe. What Babe? The Babe with the power? What power? The power of voodoo. Who do? You do. What? Remind of the Babe.” Put on your best Elizabethan wear and prepare to traverse the many twists and turns of 1986’s Labyrinth, we’ve got a baby brother to save. Join us as we discuss friendship, puppetry, and Jennifer Connelly’s acting “choices” on our humble little podcast. Does Hoggle prove that Muppets have genitalia? Is Ludo the OG Earthbender? Is there anything more adorable than a stuffed fox riding a sheepdog? The answers to these riddles and many more lie just beyond the walls of the Labyrinth. Be careful not to lose your way and avoid David Bowie’s codpiece at all costs…it’ll bewitch you. *Despite the audio issues this episode is wonderful. Sound problems have been addressed for future episodes. Sorry in advance, and thanks for understanding, lovely Listeners. Tonight on the Marquee: A Monologue from The Labyrinth. New Cohost and Old Friend Mark Zebro Jr. joins this Losers Club. Female Leads, Sad Orphans, and Kinky Handcuff Sex. Our Tail-wagging Review of Isle of Dogs…with baby voiced puppies “Kurt Weill Lives? David Bowie’s Codpiece, Juggling Balls, and New Age Cocaine Diet. Nightcaps Civil War: Love or Hate Jennifer Connelly. Labyrinth: Was She Autistic? Jareth or Jared from Subway? Solving the many Door Riddles…but, not really. The Fireys are TERRIFYING! Boinking and Diddling at the Ball. The Great Chicken Massacre of 1986 The Life and Death of “Nostalgia.” “Did he go on vacation?” Jonathan’s Dead Dog Naivety “I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t mix my milk with coke.” - Matt’s Breakfast of Champions. Mark tells Sarah Jessica Parker’s aka “Old Horse Face” Origin Story. “I’d fucks with Hoggle.” – Matt chooses his friends. “Nothing? Nothing? Tra La La!” – Jonathan examines his love life. “Knockoff Chewbacca” – Mark’s opinion on Ludo. Being Elmo: A Puppeteer’s Journey “They did that Painting.” – Mark’s glowing art criticism. “He died from too much poop in his butt.” – Jim Henson’s epitaph. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G



Episode 05: Boogie Nights
Mar 21 2018 90 mins  
Alright everybody, it’s time to put on your roller blades, and get yourself pumped up. You are about to shoot a scene and we here at Nightcaps hope that you will “rise to the occasion.” If you catch our drift? Listen along as Matt and Jonathan sit back and relive the tail end of the sleazy 19070’s. A time of disco, drugs, and… dick. Before we get into Marky Mark’s potential “tour de force” We discuss the 2018 Oscars with Matt’s scene partner April, who stops by the Nightcaps studio for a bump, before calling it a night. After that, Parental Advisory is in full effect *Wink* Wink* Wait…I got something in my eye! What is that?!? Oh my God! Can a get a towel and a hit of something over here? You really ought to get that looked at by a doctor or something… Tonight on the Marquee: A Scene from a Disco Bathroom The 2018 Oscars: Year of the Jet Ski Shark Jump Daniel Day-Lewis Pulls a Kanye. Rita Moreno Makes Her Comeback! Jersey Gardens: Ghetto Movie Paradise Limited Releases, the Roseanne Reboot, Need to Get Steppin! Guillermo Del Toro “Best Boi?” Little Bill 90’s Kids Favorite Cartoon or Cuck Husband? Paul Thomas Anderson’s “All Star” Porno Cast Dirk Diggler…The Worst Porn Name? What if the Oscars Were More Like The Porn Awards? Mark Whalberg’s “Third Leg” is Basically the Ark of the Covenant, How Drunk is Jonathan to Confuse Philip Seymour Hoffman and John C. Reilly? Steve Harrington Does Adult Films? Is Marky Mark the Greatest Method Actor of All Time? “Let’s Do it!” April’s Words to Live By. “Best Producer” The Next Great Oscar Caper Thriller. “Cocaine was my second choice, but they didn’t have that at the liquor store which is weird.” "13 Inch –Shlonger of a Beast…” So That’s Why Mark Wahlberg Has a Film Career. “The Literal Act One Gun…” – A Great Description for a Double Homicide/Suicide “Woah…That Was Kinda Awesome” – Jonathan and Matt after the “Big” Reveal. Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


Episode 04: The Royal Tenenbaums
Feb 28 2018 100 mins  
Put on your Adidas track suits, light those cigarettes, and hitch a ride on the back of the nearest garbage truck, tonight is a family affair on Nightcaps at the Theater. Wes Anderson’s The Royal Tenenbaums is the topic of discussion and we are proud to introduce a new member of our Nightcaps family. Our first guest: Mark Zebro Jr! Join us as we reminisce on youth, discuss sibling rivalries, and contemplate when our growing distaste for Gwyneth Paltrow actually began. Did you ever want to know Mordechai the Falcon’s backstory or ponder the intricate differences of the Wilson brothers? Well, Mark has you covered. As Owen Wilson would say…”Oh, Wow!” Family… am I right? You can’t live with them, but life would be a whole lot more boring without them. Tonight on the Marquee: The Life and Times of the “Other Tenenbaums” Video Games?!? Not in my Movie Podcast Mark Zebro Jr: The Man, The Myth, The Movies Drawing a Blank on Bill Murray Popeye: A Cinema Masterpiece Goop Butt Water How Do Anjelica Huston’s Farts Smell? Jonathan Has the Details. Arrested Development Origins Is It Incest? Pagoda, not “Bagoda” Gene Hackman “Noticeable” Douchebag Dusty, Dudley, and Buckley. MVPs Is Mordechai Still Alive? “I Want You to Do Something Subtle With Your Vagina” – Famous Words of a Shared Director. “But Who’s Gonna Eat All Those Olives Mark?” – Martinis Gone Dirty "Let’s Shag Ass!” – A Call for Action. “The Framing Makes Me Hard.” - So does Wes Anderson when dressed as a Catholic school girl. “Wildcat. Wow.” – Our Groundbreaking Owen Wilson Impressions. “Dudley Where is He?” … “Who?” - A Conversation for the Ages Art Provided By: John Cafiero @bonehaver420 Music: "Riviera Jazz" Provided By: Crazy G


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