Disagree better

Apr 10 2024 130
Disagree better Podcast artwork

How we handle conflict has an impact on the resilience of our vital relationships, the caliber of our decisions, the success of our careers, and our peace of mind. Mediator, conflict resolution teacher, and author Tammy Lenski, Ed.D., uses storytelling and science to help us transform our experience with conflict and inspire us to disagree better at work and at home. The podcast was formerly called The Space Between.

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Discovering and managing your conflict hooks, part 1

Apr 10 2024 8 mins  
One of the best ways to increase emotional agility in conflict is to recognize and manage your conflict hooks. Find episode transcript and links here. Subscribe to my monthly newsletter here.

Unburied empathy

Mar 06 2024 5 mins  
What we do immediately after we express empathy helps or hinders the connection and alignment we’re trying to build. Find episode transcript and links here. Subscribe to my Substack newsletter here.

Use these 5 phrases to air your grievances and get heard

Feb 23 2024 6 mins  
How to skip the drama and the rumination and raise a concern so they’ll actually listen. Find Tammy's episode transcript and links here and the printable cheat sheet here. Subscribe to my monthly Subtack newsletter here.

Disagree better by asking great questions

Feb 06 2024 7 mins  
It’s tempting to tell people what they should do. It feels efficient, and it makes us feel helpful and wise. When we replace telling with asking, we can do something more powerful and, ultimately, more satisfying: Help people illuminate what’s important and generate effective solutions to problems. Find episode transcript and links here. Subscribe to my free monthly newsletter

25 ways to disagree better from 25 years of writing about conflict resolution

Jan 02 2024 10 mins  
My newsletter, Disagree Better, turns 25 this month. I’m marking the milestone with 25 ways to disagree better from a wide array of thinkers. Find episode transcript and links here. Subscribe to my monthly newsletter here.

Identify a problem’s primary drivers with a relationship diagram

Dec 05 2023 6 mins  
One reason agreements and solutions fail is that they don’t sufficiently identify and address the root causes of the problem. Another is that they address behavioral elements of the conflict without also addressing systemic elements that drive the behavior. The Relationship Diagram is an excellent tool for overcoming both of these problem-solving hurdles. Relationship diagram de

Getting through the day with a bit of grace

Oct 31 2023 4 mins  
Should our conflict partners have to earn or deserve our good graces for us to show them generosity of spirit when they’re acting badly? Here’s a way to disagree better even when we think we’re handling the encounter well and they’re not. Episode transcript Seeing the equal human in front of us Susan Cain's website To automatically receive transcripts of new episodes, plu

Stop rehearsing your stuck story

Oct 03 2023 4 mins  
Like a movie trailer, your Stuck Story is a montage of the most interesting moments in a conflict, with certain scenes magnified and others omitted. It’s not the story of the conflict; it’s your story of the conflict. It’s not helpful to keep repeating your Stuck Story, either to yourself or to others. Here’s why and how to stop the unintended rehearsals. Episode transcrip

How to deal with stonewalling in a relationship at work or home

Sep 05 2023 10 mins  
Stonewalling makes conflict conversations more difficult and can damage vital relationships. So what can you do if you want to talk out a problem, but the other person is stonewalling? Start by understanding how the present circumstances may be driving the behavior. Episode transcript When they're not ready to talk How to navigate the "not my problem" problem A question to help ma

Don't bury anger's lede (replay)

Aug 02 2023 3 mins  
I'm on summer break and will be back with a new episode next month. In the meantime, enjoy this replay from the archives. Episode transcript To automatically receive transcripts of new episodes, plus Tammy's newsletter, subscribe here.