Basketball Illuminati

While the rest of the league has been working on bulking up and getting in shape, Media Day has us in our feelings thanks to Jimmy Butler's new look. Damian Lillard to Milwaukee, Jrue Holiday to Boston, everyone but Tyler Herro to Portland... It was a busy weekend. Meanwhile, Nikola Jokic clocks back in to work. The voice of Basketball Illuminati himself Pablo Torre is here to shar

Dwyane Wade has started a campaign to tell every other superstar player that they were the reason he called and asked LeBron to take his talents to South Beach. The Warriors finally solved their depth issues... By bringing in renowned bleeping tough guy Rodney McGruder instead of Juan Toscano Anderson? Finally, limited fake Tim Bontemps Did His Own Research, surveying league inside

An intrepid Twitter researcher @OtownNBA compiled a list of players that have racked up the most 'Bang!' calls by Mike Breen in the last decade. As the Damian Lillard saga drags on towards training camp, the Illuminati look back at the greatest September trades in history, including an NBA Finals loser bringing in a star that propelled them to a title. Then Tom Did His Own Research

The day after Novak Djokovic celebrated his 24th title and honored Kobe Bryant with a Mamba Forever shirt, Aaron Rodgers tore his achilles wearing the number 8. What is going on in NY? The league's competition committee is incorporating a new fine system to govern star player rest, however there are a plethora of exceptions, which we are calling the NBA Acceptable Rest Protocol. Te

Andre Drummond makes a bold proclamation about his career and hall of fame status, so the Illumination digs into the numbers behind his claim. Despite a brief hitch in their giddyup against Lithuania, Team USA rolled Italy in the FIBA quarterfinals, and there might be a motivational factor hiding in plain sight. Finally, back at the end of May, we brought on a Truth Teller that con

Paul George has thrown his proverbial hat in the ring, so the Illuminati compares his Chucky Barkley impression to Kenan Thompson and Aries Spears. Sprinter Noah Lyles incites the wrath of the NBA comments section, Rondae Hollis-Jefferson is the Kobe of Jordan, and Rudy Gobert takes accountability for France being eliminated from the FIBA World Cup. Tom Does His Own Research on las

A former NBA social media employee took to Facebook to air his grievances and promote his new consulting business after asking how to log out of the official NBA account. The James Harden saga continues with a healthy hundred thousand dollar fine from the association, but DA Amin Elhassan takes the case to defend him in Illuminati Court. Finally, do the NY Knicks have a serious gri

Kyrie Irving is back in a big way, driving content on all segments of this show, and revealing his sworn fealty to a lord by wearing a certain number. Amin reports back from his experience at the Hall of Fame induction this past weekend, and tries to share credit with Curt Gowdy Media Award winner Marc Spears. James Harden broke the code on his dissatisfaction with the 76ers by cal

Tom has started a new Substack, The Finder, and we want you to find out why. Kevin Garnett is wondering where the all the mid level bread is located, so we head to the Illuminati bakery to prove that there's a lot more out there than you might think. Paolo Banchero is suiting for Team USA in this FIBA World Cup, and Amin unveils the truth of why he left Italy's national team behind

Anthony Edwards is changing his jersey number, causing us to dip back into our numerology bag of tricks to interpret the significance. Jeff Van Gundy and Mark Jackson are out while Doc Rivers and Doris Burke are in as ESPN shakes up their NBA Finals commentator team. Admiral of the IllumiNavy and Economics Professor Scott Kaplan joins the show to discuss his paper discussing 'The D