Jun 05 2024 30 mins
Up until the age of 30, I erased myself, suppressed myself, and masked myself in friendships. A core belief I had was that, if I showed up fully as myself in my friendships, all my friends would leave me. The shitty reality is that, when I started showing up in my friendships as my full self, a lot of people did leave me. I was too scared to lose those shitty friendships because I believed crumbs were better than starving. But I didn't realize that being full was an option. And I didn't realize how much of me had to die in order to maintain these empty, one-sided, imbalanced friendships. I'm proud of the Jieun who had to erase herself to survive and find belonging. And I'm proud of the Jieun who had the courage to be her whole self.
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