Jan 18 2023 52 mins
In this episode of Joculation, LP shares his unique brand of comedy and satire on the news and headlines which matter most.
The war in the Ukraine is ratcheting up, and leaders from countries around the world are bleating away in their United Nations knitting circles about the need for more effective diplomacy. You know, nothing says more effective diplomacy quite like swiping right on Tinder to fuck the war out of men on the frontline. In this episode, join LP as we discover how Russian soldiers invading the Ukraine are dressing up like missing members of The Village People band and feverishly updating their Tinder profiles on the front lines of the Ukrainian war - because somehow hooking up with someone before sending them to a re-education camp is the path to peace (https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/red-dawn-juan-russian-solders-trying-hook-ukrainian-girls-tinder).
Forms and fields are the curse of the connected age because big data is big business, and nothing provides a such wonderful opportunity for responsive, eye-catching, and creative wordplay quite like the memo field for cash transfers from your bank, CashApp, Venmo and Paypal. Let’s hear as LP regales us with the tale of just such a creative young man who decided to add a touch of distinctive word-play flair to his cash transfers to friends with payment memos labeled as, “jihad fees”, “Taliban Training”, and “ISIS Training” (https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-quizzed-bank-after-using-26249967). It’s like a modern twist on the childhood classic “Horton Hears a Who.”
The age of designer babies has descended upon humanity and through the miracle that is CRISPR, humans can design the sex babies with the same ease and comfort as designing a pair of custom Nike sneakers during Superbowl halftime. Yet, with all this ease and convenience, some people still wax nostalgic and prefer the old school method involving a Faith healer, a hammer, a nail, and the skull of the pregnant woman to guarantee the sex of their child (https://metro.co.uk/2022/02/11/faith-healer-hammered-nail-into-pregnant-womans-head-so-shed-have-baby-boy-16088206/). In this episode, LP fills us in on the faith healer who hammered a nail into the head of a pregnant woman to guarantee she’d have a baby boy. I mean, Jesus was a carpenter after all, right?
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