Jan 25 2023 56 mins
In this episode of Joculation, LP shares his unique brand of comedy and satire on the news and headlines which matter most.
In the Dead Toad Scrolls, a series of meditative personal essays, Killroy J. Oldster states, “Days spent in idleness and leisure creates empty pages in the anthology of human beings and leaves no indelible mark in the pages of a person’s life story.” No indelible marks you say Mr. Oldster? Join LP this episode as we discover how days spent in idleness and leisure led a young man to occupy this leisure time by inserting “dynamite-like explosives” into his rectum, detonating them, and having his ass rebuilt like the bionic man (https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-blows-up-bum-strapping-26365645). Who would have known all you need to rebuild a blown-up ass is some papier-mâché and a few classic episodes of Martha Stewart Living?
According to Urology Case Reports, urethral foreign bodies are (allegedly) rare and with a variety of causes. “Rare”, you say? In this episode, LP plays a bit of graveyard bingo to quantify how rare stories of men jamming things up their urethra really are, and stumbles across a guaranteed first ballot hall of famer who, against all odds, managed to fit a single AA battery in his urethra and kept it there for 24 hours (https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-rushed-emergency-surgery-after-26333088?int_source=mantis_rec&int_medium=web&int_campaign=more_like_this). Where is John Madden on the telestrator with the play by play and color commentary we need during this intimate and historical moment in Natural Selection?
Nothing says quaint magical fairytale setting and pixie dust quite like driving down to the Ashdown Forrest in East Sussex - the inspiration for AA Milne's Hundred Acres Wood in the Winnie the Pooh stories - for a lascivious yet relaxing Sunday afternoon dogging session amongst Winnie the Pooh and his friends. In this episode, let’s hear LP regale the listeners with the tales of the police in Sussex desperately urge people engaging in “acts of a sexual nature” not to visit the Sussex beauty spot (https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/weird-news/police-crackdown-doggers-plaguing-family-26341423). And here Pooh thought he only had to worry about the Hephalumps, Woozels, and his jars of honey. Who would have ever thought the Hundred Acre Wood might need of a resident jizz mopper?
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