Feb 21 2020 76 mins 1
#055: Seduction, Porn, Deida, Consent & More w/ Guest Michael Ellsberg
Among many other topics, Michael Ellsberg and I explore:
--> The problems with the pickup movement, which was (unfortunately) the place a lot of men went for "guidance" on how to relate to women.
--> The ups and downs of the "conscious sexuality" movement, which has also been a place many men have sought guidance--though is starting to feel dated to a lot of people.
--> How David Deida's "The Way of the Superior Man" (published 20 years ago) influenced the (mostly white) American personal development culture, and why it's time to move beyond it.
--> How ingrained homophobia in our society limits men's range of expressiveness, and how to move beyond these limitations towards a fuller and richer life, even for those of us who are straight.
--> Why it's crucial that even "masculine" men embrace and explore our own inner feminine sides. (And what do these terms even mean anymore?)
--> Why any man identifies as masculine must come to his own definition of this term, rather than following pre-conceived scripts--and how to find our own natural definition and ideal.
--> How to navigate the perilous balancing act between many women's desire for a man to lead the romantic interactions between them and be the "pursuer," versus men's newly increased sensitivity towards not overstepping boundaries or being imposing. (This is so important and SO many guys are tripped up about this now.)
--> The why and how of allowing erotic interactions with women to evolve organically, while still feeling empowered to express our desires and intentions clearly.
--> This is a juicy one: Michael and I debate on the merits of "affirmative consent."
--> The two types of responses men have had to #MeToo--one really constructive, one really destructive. (And how to embrace the former.)
--> And Michael Ellsberg's favorite topic--p*rn. Michael is someone who creates Indy p*rn, whereas in my practice, I have seen many of the compulsive and negative ways men can relate to porn--so we hash out our differences here in this lively segment.
Michael Ellsberg is the co-author of "The Last Safe Investment: Spending Now to Increase Your True Wealth Forever" (Penguin, 2016), and the author of "The Education of Millionaires: Everything You Won't Learn in College about How to Be Successful" (Penguin, 2011), and "The Power of Eye Contact: Your Secret for Success in Business, Love and Life" (HarperCollins, 2010). His writing has been published on Forbes.com, Time.com, and the blog of Tim Ferriss, and in the New York Times.
You can find Michael Ellsberg on:
Michael Ellsberg: http://ellsberg.com
Facebook: http://fb.com/ellsberg
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelellsberg/
YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/ellsbergmichael
Twitter: https://twitter.com/michaelellsberg
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