Spinsterhood Reimagined - The One Where I Talk To Social Psychologist & Author, Bella De Paulo

Jun 13 2022 57 mins 18

In this week's episode of Spinsterhood Reimagined, I talk to the one-and-only Bella De Paulo. Bella is a Social Psychologist, author of, among other books, ‘Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatised And Ignored, And Still Live Happily Ever After’. Her Tedx talk, ‘What No-one Ever Told You About People Who Are Single’ has been viewed by over 1.5 million people.

Bella is the recipient of numerous honours and awards, such as the James McKeen Cattell Award and the Research Scientist Development Award. She has more than 150 scholarly publications and has served in various leadership positions in professional organisations. She has written op-ed essays and other articles for publications such as the New York Times, the Washington Post, NBC, CNN, Time magazine, New York magazine, the Guardian, Forbes, Quartz, Nautilus, the Conversation, and the Chronicle of Higher Education. Bella has also discussed the place of singles in society on radio and television, including NPR and CNN. She has been described by Atlantic Magazine as “America’s foremost thinker and writer on the single experience.”

And as if all of that wasn’t enough, she also happens to have a PhD from Harvard University.

In this conversation, Bella and I talk about an array of topics including how she came to study and research the single life when initially she was working on the psychology of deception; the fact that she never wanted to be married, and how she realised many years ago that being single is simply who she is; and how she discovered that loving being single and wanting to stay single is, in fact, a ‘thing’.

Bella also talks about how she believes that a single life can be a bigger, more expansive life with more possibility; being ‘single at heart’, a term she coined and is also using as the title for her next book which she’s currently working on; how crazy it is that she hears from many, many people who love being single but think that there is something wrong with them because of that; and some of the biggest misconceptions about single people.

We also discuss some of the research that has been done into singles and how, in fact, the outlook for unmarried people is far brighter than society may assume; how Bella wants to challenge the idea that being single is always a ‘temporary’ state whilst waiting for a partner; and how people who are single at heart happily live their best, most authentic, meaningful and fulfilling lives by being single.

Bella is passionate about getting the message out that if you’re happy being single, and want to stay that way, there is nothing wrong with you, and you don’t need fixing!

I sincerely hope that you all enjoy listening to this conversation as much as I enjoyed having it.

Bella can be found on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bella.depaulo

She can also be found on Twitter: @belladepaulo

Bella’s Website: https://www.belladepaulo.com/

US Link to Bella’s book, Singled Out: https://www.amazon.com/Singled-Out-Singles-Stereotyped-Stigmatized/dp/0312340826/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

UK Link to Bella’s book, Singled Out: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Singled-Out-Bella-Depaulo/dp/0312340826/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1653921137&sr=8-1

Join my private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1870817913309222/?ref=share