Bill The Vampire By Rick Gualtieri


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Apr 03 2024 11 mins  
This episode contains explicit language.

In this episode we present the first chapter of Bill The Vampire, an irreverent comic fantasy written by Rick Gualtieri and narrated by Christopher John Fetherolf

Love this chapter? Buy the full audiobook here.
Want to know more about the author? Check out their website here.

THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. HE’S NOT ONE OF THEM.

Loud-mouthed gamer Bill Ryder thought the dice had finally rolled in his favor when he met Sally. Sadly, his triumph quickly turned into a critical failure—leaving him at death’s door with his throat torn out.

Now he’s a vampire, trapped in a world of monsters that are stronger, deadlier, and a hell of a lot cooler. They’re giving him just ninety days to prove he has what it takes to be an apex predator of the night, assuming he doesn’t give them a reason to dust his ass sooner.

This game isn’t over yet, though. Turns out a vamp like Bill hasn’t been seen in centuries. He’s got a few tricks up his sleeve, unexpected allies, and an attitude that’s too obnoxious to quit. He’ll need all that and more if he doesn’t want to end up even deader than last time.

Join him in this hilarious tale of bloodthirsty beasts, gory mayhem, and an unlikely hero who’s still at the bottom of the food chain.

Bill The Vampire by Rick Gualtieri
Narrated by Christopher John Fetherolf
Release date: March 31, 2023

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