Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

It's time for the next Dear Nina Friendship Monthly Challenge! The January challenge was to see a friend in person, which meant reaching out to make a plan. The February challenge is to start a ritual/tradition with friends to strengthen new relationships or maintain existing ones.

For accountability, report back in the Dear Nina Facebook Group, on Substack, or via email when you've made the plan. It's okay if the plan doesn't happen in February. Just get the planning going!

To quote (myself!) from January, "In a healthy, robust, social life, or at least a deeply fulfilling one where you feel like you can be yourself, there's less keeping score, less keeping track, less waiting for invitations, and less moralizing about who should have included you. You dear listener are in charge. You will do the including."

And that statement is completely applicable to the February challenge as well. I hear from people who feel they need to start over with friendships or that they've never had good friends. So when you hear something like "start a ritual," you might be thinking, "But Nina, I don't have any close friends." And that's the point. These rituals and traditions can become the foundation of close friendships.

In my interview with Rachel Steinman and Rachel Winter, co-authors of STAY GOLDEN, GIRLS, you will hear examples of traditions between longtime friends, newer friends, and I share some of my own traditions with people who are now longtime friends, but who weren't when we started certain annual plans.

The power in rituals and traditions are not even about the activity itself in many cases. It's about the anticipation and organization! Of course there are tricky elements of planning these traditions, too. How many people should you include? That's a big one, and there are others. We discuss them all in the episode!

Links mentioned:

• All the 2025 Monthly Challenges newsletter posts
• "How to Make Plans with Friends"
• Episode #56 with Kat Vellos: Managing Group Texts

Meet "The Rachels"

Rachel Steinman and Rachel Winter are here to help give inspiration to all of us. They’ve been friends since they were 18 years old though, and they are both accomplished and interesting women on their own, but together they co-wrote Stay Golden, Girls, a gift book about the importance of women’s friendships.

Rachel Steinman is a writer, teacher, and mental health educator. She hosts the Dear Family, Podcast with inspirational guests who have overcome mental health obstacles to thrive. She received her Masters in Education and teaching credentials from UCLA, has taught every elementary school grade, and has been a school librarian. She is a lead presenter for NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), going into middle and high schools to educate students, parents, and staff about warning signs while offering resources and hope.

Rachel Winter is a writer, director, and an Academy Award®-nominated producer for Dallas Buyers Club. Winter, along with LeBron James, produced James’ biopic, Shooting Stars, released on Peacock in June 2023. Available now from iHeart Radio, Winter produced and directed the audio drama Supreme: The Battle for Roe, and made her directorial debut with The Space Between, starring Kelsey Grammer, for which they both received awards from various Film Festivals.

All social media and purchasing links for Stay Golden, Girls, can be found here.

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