May 30 2021 46 mins 13
Thank you for joining me for another episode on the podcast Of Course.. They Make Me Crazy!
I’m the host & creator April Norris.
Guess who is joining me again?!
The one and only Dr. Daniel Lobel. He’s back to talk more about Borderline Personality Disorder. I wanted to have him on again because our first Borderline Personality Disorder conversation was downloaded the most of out of all the other episodes recorded this past year!
I invited him back to help me close out SEASON ONE of this podcast. It’s the one-year anniversary on June 12, 2021! Ironically, it will also be the 5th year anniversary of my mom’s death. It’s ironic because I didn’t plan those dates. I believe it’s her way of saying – APRIL, I APPROVE! She is why I started this podcast for you.
My mom, Joni suffered from Bipolar Disorder and other illnesses. It was magical growing up with her, but it could be miserable too. However, even on her darkest days, she would give her last penny to anyone who needed it. She was giving and loving but her mental illness and pain pill addiction won out.
My hope is our stories will help you know that you’re not alone when living or loving someone with a mental illness. I say our stories because if Mom we’re alive, she would be by my side driving me fucking crazy but supporting this journey. My biggest regret is that I didn’t have the idea to do this while she was still here.
I invited Dr. Lobel to join me because he’s spent nearly 30 years helping families who suffer from BPD. He’s written 2 books called When Your Daughter Has BPD and When Your Mother Has Borderline Personality Disorder. He has a 3rd book coming out in January available on Amazon titled Stop Walking on Eggshells for Parents: How to Help Your Child with Borderline Personality Disorder Without Losing Yourself.
I also wanted to invite him on because of a “somewhat negative” email I got a few weeks ago referring to the first BPD episode we did nearly a year ago.
Our conversation kicks off with what she wrote.
She wrote:
I felt compelled to reach out and let you know that I really wish you’d have treated the BPD episode with compassion. I have BPD because of complex PTSD due persistent childhood trauma. My mother has dissociative identity disorder and was in a mental institution the majority of my early life. And I have a father who was too preoccupied to give a dang about the emotional needs of his kids. I never had a chance to develop a healthy sense of self. No one was available to teach me to relate to others in a healthy way. How about you talk about that on your show? That those who have BPD probably ended up with it from some sort of childhood trauma and that we should treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion. Everyone deserves that, right? Even those with BPD.
Not cool, guys.
It ends there.
It’s never our intent to disrespect anyone.
Dr. Lobel addresses her email but more importantly some of the issues surrounding her situation. One being defragmentation of identity. He explains how someone can start to detach from their identity and start forming other identities to help them cope from the current abusive situation their in.
You will find this episode fascinating.
We talk about a 50 year-old woman who wrote to Dr. Lobel explaining that both of her parents had BPD. It was so bad that she attempted suicide at 9 years-old. How do you heal from that situation?
We also talk about creating boundaries from your loved ones who suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder and what enabling them looks like. Enabling their bad behaviors is one of the worst things you can do for them and for yourself.
Dr. Lobel also shares an email he received from a woman who left home at 19 years-old and didn’t come back. Her mom beat her like her grandma beat her mom. It caused this woman to be too afraid to have children of her own.
I also share that my mom’s illness caused me to be too afraid to have children too. I never actively tried to get pregnant because I feared and still fear my child would have the same Illness and I would have to deal with the fights, heart ache and dread all over again.
Dr. Lobel gives me his thoughts on that too!
Sure hope you get something out of this episode! If you do, would so appreciate a nice review! Reading those means the world to me.
This episode is going to wrap up my first season of the podcast Of Course.. They Make Me Crazy! Go back a listen to the others episodes. They’re loaded with lots of crazy, cringy, weird but inspiring nuggets.
My Hope is that you know you’re not alone.
I’m going to take a couple months off while working on a new line up for next season.
But you can always email me by jumping onto my website ofcoursetheymakemecrazy.com
Or, DM on Instagram!
And, if you have any topic or issue you would like to me address, please let me know!
My goal is to help you and doing that is easier when I know what is bothering you or making you curious.
I have lots of love for ya! Have a nice summer.
April Norris
Of Course … They Make Me Crazy!
