May 16 2021 19 mins
Hey There,
Thank you for joining me on the podcast Of Course.. They Make Me Crazy!
I’m April Norris.
Coming up on June 12th will be the one-year anniversary of this podcast. That’s crazy to me! Strangely, June 12th will also be the 5th anniversary of my mom, Joni’s death, which is also crazy to me!
It’s crazy to me because I don’t remember launching this podcast specifically on that date on purpose. So, I messaged my sister, Amanda to see if she remembers us doing that on purpose or if it’s just a coincidence. She doesn’t remember either. Good God! It’s only been one-year and we can’t remember.
When I first started this, she was on helping me out by sharing our family stories too. When I got the nudge in my soul to start this podcast, I called her and said, “Hey, I have all these little stories written down about our crazy family stories. I’m starting a podcast and you’re going to be my sidekick. Don’t worry, I’ll do all the work. You come along and add perspective and what you remember. And we’re recording in 2 days.”
She was like, ok. That was a big deal because Amanda is shy. We’re 10 years apart and total opposites. She had fun though. We live in different time zones and have different schedules, so I went solo.
Anyway, seeing that the podcast launch date is also the date of my mom’s death sort of creeped me out a bit. In a good way! The universe works in mysterious way.
Many of you already know that I started this podcast in my mom’s honor. She grew up with an alcoholic dad who left his six kids and wife for a man he met at a nudist beach. Her mom lost it after that and went down a dark path of popping pills. My mom got pregnant with me at 15.5 years old with a physically abusive boyfriend. And the doctor that delivered me essentially became her drug dealer. He gave her almost every addictive narcotic on the market to help her deal.
With all that, she was an amazing mom. But that trauma caught up with her. Her mind and body broke down. She was diagnosed with bipolar. She stopped taking care of herself. The only thing she cared about was taking pills in hopes of not feeling the pain and sadness as much.
I felt her story needed to be told. And, that my story growing up with her needed to be told too. Hoping our stories resonate with you and in some strange way help you.
Have you seen the movie, Hillbilly Elegy? It’s based off of J.D. Vance’s memoir. It’s about the hard times of him growing up in Kentucky Appalachians and their family moving to Ohio. I found the book at the airport looking for something to read on the plane. I said to myself, “Damn! This book sounds like my family!”
The book was great. It depicts what many of us imagine hillbillies are. Sorry! It's the truth. We all have an opinion. It’s about unhealthy choices some of the poor to middleclass people make. It’s about addiction and family violence.
You’re probably thinking, “That just sounds F-ing sad, April.” Well, it is. But there’s humor in the movie too. For me, the movie was even better than the book because I could relate. The characters looked my family, their mannerisms were even similar. It brought back memories of my hillbilly roots. I cried watching it and yes, it made me sad. But watching it also made me feel like my upbringing was normal and gave me a little peace. Even though, I know, nothing is normal.
Down to Glenn Close playing Vance’s grandma in the movie. She had the short gray permed hair like my Grams did. My Grams was much prettier though. She also wore long T-Shirts with pictures of dogs from Walmart. She always had a cigarette in her hand. Strangely, it felt like home while watching it... I probably felt a little peace knowing I wasn’t ever going back to those times too.
But that’s why I started this podcast. Hearing other’s stories has always helped me compartmentalize things that have happened to me. I hope that’s what this does for you.
I wanted to share an email I got the other day. I get really nice emails that thank me for sharing stories and doing what I do. I’ve gotten a few that say the sound quality could be better… which is true. That’s a work in progress people! I’ve actually demoed a few new recorded programs but didn’t like them. I’m a one-man band full time working woman, here. LOL. Really excited for the days I can do just this. That day will be here soon.
The email I’m referring too wasn’t one of those. This listener is upset with me. I’m not going to reveal her name though. She recently listened to my episode called Border Line Personality Disorder and it didn’t sit well with her.
She wrote:
I felt compelled to reach out and let you know that I really wish you’d have treated the BPD episode with compassion. I have BPD because of complex PTSD due persistent childhood trauma. My mother has dissociative identity disorder and was in a mental institution the majority of my early life. And I have a father who was too preoccupied to give a dang about the emotional needs of his kids. I never had a chance to develop a healthy sense of self. No one was available to teach me to relate to others in a healthy way. How about you talk about that on your show? That those who have BPD probably ended up with it from some sort of childhood trauma and that we should treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion. Everyone deserves that, right? Even those with BPD.
Not cool, guys.
First, I want to say that my intent is never to disrespect anyone. She’s right anyone and everyone should be treated with kindness, respect and compassion.
I can’t imagine the pain she felt growing up with a mom who had dissociative identity disorder which used to be known as multiple personality disorder. I’m not sure if that’s what her mom was dealing with because there are several different symptoms people experience with that just like borderline personality disorder. Someone might be diagnosed with disorder but behave differently than someone else diagnosed with it.
I’m not a doctor and don’t pretend to be. During the Borderline Personality Disorder episode, I interviewed Dr. Daniel Lobel, PHD. He’s psychologist who has written two books about Borderline Personality Disorder.
By the way, it’s a great episode! If you haven’t listened to it yet, please do. Dr. Lobel goes through a couple of different scenarios that can really shed light on how to handle certain situations.
There are so many avenues and topics to cover when talking about BPD. He could probably write a hundred more books and not get to all of them. I’m exaggerating a bit, but you get my drift.
As with other mental health disorders, the causes of borderline personality disorder aren’t fully understood. I was doing some reading on Mayo Clinic’s website and it says it can be caused because of genetics, brain abnormalities and trauma.
In that episode, we talked about how to handle living with someone who has borderline personality disorder because that is what this podcast is about. It’s for those of us who love and live with someone with a mental illness because it can be very difficult at times. And, for some of us, if we don’t talk about it, then we too can become sick. That’s why I talk all the time! I don’t want a bunch of negative shit fermenting inside of me.
That listener is right. We did not cover how and why people are diagnosed with it. But, you bet that I’ll have Dr. Lobel back on again soon to talk more about it.
With that being said, I want to thank her for reaching out to me. I appreciate her email and view on that episode.
Thank you for listening. My goal is to create a community with you. If you ever want to reach out to me, please do. If there is a topic you’re interested in hearing about, let me know. I’ll try to get your questions or curiosity answered.
I spent more than 12 years in the television news business as a reporter, photographer and anchor. I’ve always loved telling and researching stories. It was passion of mine for a loooooooooong time. One I slipped out of for a while. And, now finding my way back too in a different way.
Love,
April Norris