The Homeschool Highschool Podcast - How to Have Good Conver

Oct 01 2024 22 mins 5

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This week on Homeschool Highschool Podcast: How to Have Good Conversations with Your Teen.

How to Have Good Conversations with Your Teen

Communication is key with teens! Join Vicki for some tips on ways to strengthen relationships with your homeschool high schoolers by sharing meaningful conversations with them.

We homeschool moms wear multiple hats, from teachers to mentors and referees and counselors, and naturally, we want to have those kinds of connections with our teens. But let’s be real – some teens open up like books, while others need a whole invitation to get past “fine” when you ask them how their day was.

Strategies For Having Good Conversations with Teens

First things first, it’s important to remember that not every teen is the same. Some are natural-born chatterboxes, while others are more introspective and observers.

It’s important to recognize that each teen has their own personality and preferred way of communicating

If your teen is not the type to pour out their thoughts right away, try not to take it personally. It does not necessarily mean they do not want to talk. It might just means they might need a different approach.

Let’s try some of these approaches:

We at 7Sisters had all kinds of teens. Here are some of the different approaches that we found worked with various teens.

Pick the Right Time and Place

That leads to the first strategy – pick your time and place. For instance, trying to engage a night owl teen at 7:30 AM is a recipe for disaster. And if your early bird is ready for a chat, 10 PM might not be the best time.

Likewise, sometimes a neutral setting, like grabbing a coffee or taking a car ride, can make all the difference. Car rides, in particular, can be magical because no one has to make eye contact, and the movement seems to ease the pressure. Vicki found car rides were the number one location for deep and meaningful conversations with her teens.

Talk with Food

Another helpful tip? Let food facilitate a fun conversation!

It’s funny, but sometimes sitting down with snacks creates an atmosphere where teens feel more comfortable. It’s like sharing food levels the playing field and makes even tough conversations feel less formal.

You do not have to go all out – a simple snack at the kitchen table or a stop at a drive-thru can help facilitate a smoother exchange.

Plus, if it’s an especially challenging conversation, food can offer a little comfort to both of you.

Be Judgment-Free

When talking with teens, it’s crucial to make them feel safe in expressing themselves without fear of judgment.

Sometimes teens may assume we already have all the answers or are not genuinely interested in their thoughts, but a simple question like, “What did you think about that?” or “I wonder why you feel that way?” can unlock deeper conversation.

It’s essential to approach these talks with an open mind, giving them the space to share, even if their perspective challenges your own. Remember: relationship is the emphasis!

Don’t Try to Fix it – Just Let Them Talk

If your teen has an opinion that you do not fully agree with, resist the urge to jump in and “fix” it. Let them talk it out, and then ask follow-up questions that show you are genuinely curious.

Encouraging them to explain their thought process not only makes them feel heard but also helps develop critical thinking skills.

And hey, sometimes they might surprise you with a new perspective you had not considered. Remember, adolescence is the time our offspring need to try on different ideas and goals. The more you listen and hold back from quickly jumping in, the more they can grow under your loving, watchful and prayerful eyes. (Also, let them make some mistakes… unless those mistakes are too dangerous, of course.)

Use Conversation Starters

Lastly, do not underestimate the power of using shared experiences as conversation starters. Whether it’s discussing a book, a movie, or even something seen on social media, these external sources can be gateways into deeper topics.

They take the pressure off the teen to come up with something to talk about on their own and can make tricky subjects feel more approachable.

How to Have Good Conversations with Your Teen

The bottom line is this:

Conversations with your teen are not just about exchanging information; they are about connection. It’s about creating a space where your teen feels seen, heard, and valued.

So next time you’re facing a conversation that feels complex, take a deep breath, grab some snacks, and remember—it’s all about heart. BTW- Also, we can extend conversations into the way we homeschool- check out Sabrina’s talk on conversational homeschooling.

Thank you for Seth Tillman for editing this podcast and for Richie Soares with Homeschool and Humor for writing this blog post!