Cochrane UK Trainees Podcast

Stroke: things feel out of control - a daughter’s experience.

I think it’s quite humbling
When you realise that
It doesn’t matter how old
Your mother is
She’s still your mother.

When that happens
It is quite a shock,
It is doubly a shock.

I suppose then you think
Well because she’s 86
Are the NHS going to really try
As they might
To keep her hale and hearty?

The stress from the stroke
I think really has to be
Two-fold.

First of all
Supporting her
And not encouraging her
To be anxious
About anything
Because it’s all a bit rubbish just now,
But we’re trying to get things
Better for you.

And also supporting her sister
Because they’ve lived together
Virtually all of their lives.
So whilst there’s no kind of
She doesn’t have a spouse any more,
My father died in ‘96
There is someone there
That I do need to support as well.

So in amongst all that
I’m having to do stuff at home
And I’m having to keep going to work,
And I’m not giving anything
As much of the attention as I should do

So I think I’m being stretched
Across many different things,
And I really don’t like that because
I’m a bit more used
To being in control.

(This poem is read by Marilyn Kendall, a Senior Research Fellow at Edinburgh University).