Mar 31 2024 17 mins 12
Let’s say I’m a covert narcissist, and I’m looking for a partner. Who am I looking for?
I believe that I am the best thing ever, that I am right all the time, that my opinion is all that matters. So who do I need? I need someone who doubts themselves.
The best victim of gaslighting is someone who doubts themselves. One piece that makes someone quite vulnerable to gaslighting and manipulation is when their own sense of self is too reliant on the opinions of others. When we put too much weight in the belief of others to the detriment of our own belief in ourselves.
What does it look like when our self-image is reliant on other people?
Who am I becomes who do people think I am. What do they think about me? Do they like to be around me? Am I helpful to them? Do they think I did a bad job? Do they think I’m too angry, too happy, too emotional, not emotional enough and so on?
Turning off this deferment to other people for our own belief in ourselves is a giant step in making yourself more narcissist resilient. Your greatest ally against narcissistic abuse is yourself!
