Jan 28 2025 10 mins 2
In today’s video, I discuss how to avoid a common retroactive jealousy blunder.
Read or watch below to learn more about how to avoid this common retroactive jealousy blunder .
Zachary Stockill: If you’re struggling with retroactive jealousy, it’s likely you’re making some important mistakes.
In today’s free video, I’ll share four tips to help you avoid one of the biggest pitfalls of retroactive jealousy.
I’m Zachary Stockill, and since 2013, I’ve helped thousands of people around the world overcome retroactive jealousy and save their relationships.
If you’re interested in working with me or want more information about what I do, please visit this link.
For those who are new here, retroactive jealousy refers to unwanted, intrusive thoughts, often involving obsessive curiosity and what I call ‘mental movies’ about your partner’s past relationships or sexual history.
One of the most common mistakes many people with retroactive jealousy make is asking countless questions about their partner’s past.
This often includes seeking reassurance and wanting to confirm that they’re the best person their partner has ever been with.
It can also involve asking for very detailed, sometimes even sexual, information about their partner’s past or specific people they were involved with.
This goes far beyond the typical ‘getting to know you’ questions couples usually ask when they first meet, like ‘What was your ex like? What kind of relationships have you been in..?”
This often involves digging into the finer details of their partner’s past relationships or sexual history.
As I often say on this channel, in my products, and during my coaching calls, asking for more and more details about your partner’s past is not the way to overcome retroactive jealousy.
I always say to ask your deal-breaker questions. For example, one might be, ‘Have you ever had kids?’
If that’s a deal breaker for you, you’re entitled to that information because it’s important, and you’re prepared to walk away depending on the answer.
That’s a deal-breaker issue, so it’s okay to ask about that. But if you’re trying to overcome retroactive jealousy by asking for every little detail about your partner’s past, that is not the solution.
In fact, it will likely make things worse by adding fuel to the fire.
You’re giving your subconscious more details to create mental movies, and each question and answer leads to even more questions, creating a never-ending cycle.
When you get an answer that makes you feel good, that feeling might last for an hour, a couple of hours, a day, or maybe even a week.
But sooner or later, more questions will come up. More thoughts will enter your mind,
