Feb 18 2025 11 mins 1
In today’s video, I discuss concerns about your partner’s past and how to manage these feelings for a healthier relationship.
Read or watch below to learn more about concerns about your partner’s past and how to overcome them.
Zachary Stockill: Does this sound familiar? You meet someone interesting, go on a few dates, and as you grow closer, you start opening up to each other.
Then, all of a sudden, you learn a few things about their past that raise some concerns. If you have any worries about your partner’s past relationships or dating history, this video is for you.
Today, I’m going to share five tips for letting go of any concerns you may have about your partner’s past.
My name is Zachary Stockill, and since 2013, and I’ve helped thousands of people from all over the world overcome worries about their partner’s history and conquer retroactive jealousy.
If you’re interested in working with me one-on-one or want more information about my work, please visit this link.
For those who are new here, the term retroactive jealousy refers to unwanted, intrusive thoughts.
It often involves obsessive curiosity or what I call ‘mental movies’ about a partner’s past relationships or sexual history.
It can feel like a living nightmare—I know because I’ve experienced it myself.
As a survivor of retroactive jealousy, I believe I’m especially qualified to speak on this topic.
As I mentioned earlier, I’ve worked with thousands of people to help them navigate this issue.
Sometimes, retroactive jealousy can be somewhat irrational, almost like a form of OCD.
It doesn’t quite make sense to have such intense emotional reactions to your partner’s past.
You find yourself unable to stop thinking about it, and it may be due to a biochemical imbalance, meaning there’s really nothing to worry about.
However, in some cases, there might be real reasons for concern.
For example, if you and your partner don’t share the same values, it can make things more complicated.
No matter which situation you relate to, today I’d like to share five tips for letting go of worries about your partner’s past.
My number one tip is to consider the evidence you have of your partner’s character right now, in the present.
As I always say, when judging someone’s character, their recent past is most revealing.
It offers a better indication of their future behavior than their distant or ‘ancient’ past.
Sometimes, when I’m on coaching calls, clients express concern about things that happened decades ago.
This occurs especially with men, but also with women.
Now, occasionally, there is a reason to be concerned about events from that long ago, especially if someone was dishonest about their past or something similar.
I completely understand that.
Your wife’s character over the past 5 or 10 years provides a much clearer idea...
