Dec 10 2024 7 mins 4
In today’s article, I respond to a reader question: “Should I know my girlfriend’s ‘number’?”
“Should I know my girlfriend’s number?” This is a common concern for many men in relationships, and it’s important to approach it thoughtfully.
Zachary Stockill: In today’s video, we are delving into a very spicy topic and entering controversial waters. I want to address a common question: “Should I know my girlfriend’s number?”
My name is Zachary Stockill, and since 2013, I have helped thousands of men and women worldwide overcome retroactive jealousy and save their relationships.
If you’d like more information about my work, please visit this link.
For those here for the first time, ‘retroactive jealousy’ refers to unwanted, intrusive thoughts, often obsessive curiosity, and what I like to call “mental movies” about a partner’s past relationships.
Many retroactive jealousy sufferers, particularly men, often want to know their girlfriend’s or wife’s ‘number’ of past sexual partners.
Having done this work for a long time and conducted thousands of coaching calls, I am frequently asked this question directly.
“Zach, should I know my girlfriend’s number? How important is this really?” Opinions on this topic and responses to this question vary widely.
Like many other topics, the extremes on both sides are generally wrong.
On one extreme, some guys believe you should know every single intricate detail about your girlfriend’s or wife’s past.
On the opposite extreme are those who say you shouldn’t know anything about your girlfriend’s or wife’s past.
I believe both extremes are wrong. As I often do on this channel, I aim to present a more nuanced view.
If you’re asking me whether or not you should know your girlfriend’s or wife’s number, there’s a good chance the answer is yes.
However, I don’t think there’s a one-size-fits-all answer to this question. For some people, it might not be important or an issue at all.
But if it’s a deep, burning desire for you, and you have a specific number in mind where, if your girlfriend’s or wife’s number is higher, you would consider leaving them, then perhaps you should know.
If it’s a genuine, pressing question for you, and you need to know the answer, then yes, maybe you should find out your girlfriend’s or wife’s number.
But here’s the problem with that. Let’s say the number in your head is five, and you feel like you can’t be with a woman who has been with more than five other guys in the past.
Here’s the problem.
Okay, let’s say your girlfriend’s number is six. Is there a significant difference between six and five? I would argue probably not.
Is there a significant difference between four and five? Again, probably not. Now, is there a significant difference between fifty and...
