Nov 19 2024 48 mins 1
Sometimes life is life-ing even when we homeschool.
One summer, one of my daughters was moving in for a soccer goal. She’d been following a gal on the opposite team. She had the ball and the girl she’d been following wanted the ball back. The other girl stepped in for the ball and stepped directly on my daughter’s ankle. Crunch. Down my daughter fell.
(The kiddo who would normally jump right back up and declare she’ll keep playing…even as she had done when she got a wallop to the side of her face by a fastball on a mixed league baseball team.)
But on this soccer field, she couldn’t get back up, even when her teammates offered a hand.
Her dad carried her off the field, and off they went to emerg.
She was told she shouldn’t mobilize for ten weeks. This being the end of May meant swimming at our riverside home beach wouldn’t happen. And no canoeing, soccer, dance classes, or the summer theater she had signed up for.
Everything canceled.
I felt it right alongside her when she told me she was really angry by this turn of events. That summer life kept life-ing even as she sat on the sidelines for a solid summer without her regularly scheduled activities.
When we experience big life changes, life can feel like it keeps life-ing whether we’re ready or not.
As a homeschool mom, life keeps life-ing whether we have pneumonia, our relationship is in shambles, a parent is chronically ill, or our family income declines.
Along with the pressure to keep going, there’s often a lingering sense of isolation and self-doubt. How do we move forward while honoring our needs for healing? And how do we find (or reclaim) our purpose in the midst of this?
In my recent conversation with Trina and Emily, hosts of the Mind Your Heart Podcast, we touched on this experience. We explored the value of community, vulnerability, and forward-focused mindset work as ways to find (or reclaim) our purpose when life keeps life-ing.
You can listen to the episode by pressing play above.
And you can check out Trina and Emily’s podcast here. Or follow them on socials too:
Here’s a look at some of the key takeaways from that conversation on resilience, reaching out, and reshaping life after struggle.
When Life is Life-Ing, We Need to Ask for Help
For many of us, especially those who identify as self-sufficient or resilient, aka most homeschool moms, asking for help can feel incredibly difficult.
It’s uncomfortable, vulnerable, and often feels like admitting defeat. But the truth is, reaching out can build community (people love to feel helpful) and enable us with the wisdom and support we need instead of going it alone.
Emily shares this when her mom was walking through divorce, “You usually know what to do. You want to get stuff done on your own. But, mom, you really released that and was like, I need help and it’s okay that I need help. And you leaned into the community that you built.”
Keep Going for the Ones Who Depend on Us
For many homeschool moms, there’s a familiar feeling of needing to “keep on keeping on” for the kids. Naturally.
This instinct can keep us grounded and moving forward, even when it feels nearly impossible. So that’s a good thing.
The sense of purpose that comes from caring for others can fuel us, helping us push through difficult times when we might otherwise be tempted to give up. It’s an incredible motivator.
Yet, there’s often a personal cost to this drive. Sometimes we don’t allow ourselves to feel the feelings. Sometimes we may believe we’ve failed our kids, that the challenges our kids face are because we failed them. That self-talk is harsh and unhelpful.
Recognizing and reframing our thoughts is how we can feel at peace. It can also compel us to redefine our role—not as someone who has failed but as someone who’s doing everything possible to create a safe, loving environment for our kids.
Create Space to Breathe when Life is Life-ing
Life changes, such as kids growing up and leaving home, bring about deeper reflection and transitions. This transition has been bittersweet for me with each kiddo.
Undoubtedly, it’s a tricky time for homeschool moms. It sure has been for me. It’s grief and loss and excitement and pride all at the same time.
Grief and loss that I don’t get to spend every waking hour with that grown kiddo. And excitement and pride that they’re moving to their next thing, growing up, living their lives intentionally.
When our purpose has been rooted in the full-time caretaking role for 18+ years, it can be challenging to find a new sense of direction in this big life shift.
This change, however, is also an opportunity to lean into self-discovery. With more time and space, we can begin to nurture parts of ourselves that we may have set aside for too long.
This is a chance to rediscover who we are outside of the role of parent and caregiver. This new focus can open the door to healing, deeper personal growth, and following our passions in ways we hadn’t before.
While launching a kiddo can bring up difficult emotions, it can ultimately lead to a richer, more fulfilling sense of self.
Coaching as a Forward-Focused, Transformative Approach
For many, the idea of revisiting past trauma or digging into painful memories can feel overwhelming. (I certainly wasn’t keen in my early therapy years either, but I’ve learned it is clarifying and transformative).
Therapy is invaluable for working through tough experiences; it most certainly has been mentally life-saving for me.
However, sometimes, once we’ve reached a certain point, what we really need is a forward-focused approach. This is coaching.
Coaching isn’t about rehashing the past; it’s about asking, “Where are you now, and where do you want to go?”
It’s an invitation to focus on growth, goal-setting, and developing actionable steps to build the life we want moving forward.
This mindset-oriented approach is particularly appealing to those of us who have already done a lot of inner work and are ready to shift gears. Through coaching, we can explore our goals and take practical steps toward a future that feels meaningful and aligned with our true selves.
It’s a chance to live in the present, set new intentions, and move confidently toward the next steps of our life.
If you’re curious to learn more about coaching, book a no-obligation conversation with me.
Moving Forward, Together
Ultimately, when life is life-ing, and we’re looking to heal, reclaim our purpose, and want support to not do it alone, we can.
While it’s true that life sometimes feels isolating, cheerleading, community, and connection are available if we allow it.
For anyone feeling lost, unworthy, or unsure of what’s next, remember that you don’t need to have to shoulder it alone.
So, if you’re in the midst of a life transition, take a breath. It’s okay to pause and reflect, to practice reframing your challenge. It’s okay to reach out for support, to ask for help, and to invest in your healing and growth. You don’t have to go through it alone, and you don’t have to have all the answers.
You just have to take the next step.
And that’s exactly what my daughter did after those ten weeks and her foot healed: she took the next step. You can too!
Wellness Guide: Homeschool Help for Moms
Introducing Your Ultimate Wellness Guide, an ideal guidebook for homeschool moms seeking effective strategies to maintain physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. This comprehensive guide offers practical tips, actionable steps, and easy-to-follow instructions to help you prioritize self-care, manage stress, and enhance your overall homeschool experience. Get your copy now and take the first step towards a healthier and happier homeschool mom life!
People also ask:
- 10 Declutter Tips for Homeschool Moms with Simple by Emmy
- How Listening to our Trauma Stories can Enable our Homeschool Families with Norm Quantz
- The Heart Of Homeschooling: Essential Lessons From Two Experienced Moms
- Healing the Mother Wound for Homeschool Moms
- The Real Work of Homeschooling: Inner Growth Matters More than you Think
- How to Address Your Big Emotions with Christine Dixon
- Supporting the Overwhelmed Homeschool Mama on the Podcast
- How to Use Internal Family Systems for Homeschool Moms
- Homeschool Mom Challenge: Turn Struggles into Confidence
Teresa Wiedrick
I help overwhelmed homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life, so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.
Latest episodes
Subscribe to the Homeschool Mama Self-Care podcast
Call to Adventure by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3470-call-to-adventure
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
The post Finding Healing & Purpose When Life is Life-ing appeared first on Capturing the Charmed Life.
