Jun 26 2020 8 mins 4
This is an article with resources to explain grief and loss to anyone with an intellectual or developmental disability, but focuses on explaining grief to people with Down syndrome. It has been updated from the original, published in June 2020. There may be affiliate links in this post, meaning if you make a purchase using my link, I make a small commission and you don’t pay more – so thank you!
In 2016, my children were with me when my Grandpa Jack died.
One month later, they were in the room as I held one of my Grandma Jean's hands and my brother Dana held my Grandma's other hand as she took her last breath and died.
6 months later, they were with me as my brother Dana died.
One year later, we had to deal with the loss of our family, their Dad leaving and the disruption of their world, moving from California to Hawai'i.
Through both physical death and real life transitions that birthed a grieving process, my children have had experience in the ways of grief and loss. That includes my daughter with Down syndrome.
Assumptions About People with Down syndrome, Grief and Loss
I think there is an assumption that people with intellectual disabilities do not understand death. I know that when I had to explain death and loss to my daughter with Down syndrome, I wondered if she understood what I was saying. Death seems like such an abstract concept, after all, and abstract concepts are not usually favored by people with Down syndrome.
But she did understand.
Death was much easier for her to grasp than it was or has been to process grief. I'll talk a little more about that in that the next section, but first, just sticking with death and explaining death.
Books to Help Explain Death to a Person with an Intellectual Disability
We read books to help explain and process the passing of my brother and grandparents. Especially for the passing of my brother, because while my kids were able to be there with the passing of my grandparents, they did not see my brother while he was in the ICU. It was like he was there one day, vital, laughing, tossing them up in the air, and the next, nowhere. Just gone.
The Mountains of Tibet
The Little Soul and the Sun: A Children's Parable
A Hug from Heaven
Primary Rating:
3.5
Primary Rating:
3.5
Primary Rating:
3.5
$5.92
$20.00$18.13
$12.99
In 2016, my children were with me when my Grandpa Jack died.
One month later, they were in the room as I held one of my Grandma Jean's hands and my brother Dana held my Grandma's other hand as she took her last breath and died.
6 months later, they were with me as my brother Dana died.
One year later, we had to deal with the loss of our family, their Dad leaving and the disruption of their world, moving from California to Hawai'i.
Through both physical death and real life transitions that birthed a grieving process, my children have had experience in the ways of grief and loss. That includes my daughter with Down syndrome.
Assumptions About People with Down syndrome, Grief and Loss
I think there is an assumption that people with intellectual disabilities do not understand death. I know that when I had to explain death and loss to my daughter with Down syndrome, I wondered if she understood what I was saying. Death seems like such an abstract concept, after all, and abstract concepts are not usually favored by people with Down syndrome.
But she did understand.
Death was much easier for her to grasp than it was or has been to process grief. I'll talk a little more about that in that the next section, but first, just sticking with death and explaining death.
Books to Help Explain Death to a Person with an Intellectual Disability
We read books to help explain and process the passing of my brother and grandparents. Especially for the passing of my brother, because while my kids were able to be there with the passing of my grandparents, they did not see my brother while he was in the ICU. It was like he was there one day, vital, laughing, tossing them up in the air, and the next, nowhere. Just gone.
The Mountains of Tibet
The Little Soul and the Sun: A Children's Parable
A Hug from Heaven
Primary Rating:
3.5
Primary Rating:
3.5
Primary Rating:
3.5
$5.92
$20.00$18.13
$12.99
