Mar 19 2025 15 mins 24
Research reveals that 99% of boys have seen pornography by age 15, with the average first exposure occurring around age 10-11. This isn't your parents' magazine under the bed—today's online explicit content is shaping our children's understanding of relationships and intimacy years before their first kiss. This episode provides practical, research-backed strategies for having essential conversations with your children about pornography and online safety. Learn how to protect your kids while maintaining open communication about this confronting but critical topic.
Quote of the Episode: "Not talking about it isn't protective. You need to talk about it because that's where the protection comes."
Key Points:
- Average first exposure to explicit content occurs around age 10-11
- By age 15, 99% of boys and 50-70% of girls have seen pornography
- Among 15- to 29-year-olds,
- 85% consume explicit content weekly or daily
- Children typically see explicit content 3-3.5 years before their first kiss
- Modern online pornography often contains aggressive and degrading content
- Early exposure shapes expectations about relationships and intimacy
- Open communication is crucial for protecting children
- Parents should normalise curiosity while not endorsing the behaviour
- Discussions should focus on healthy relationships and consent
Resources Mentioned:
- "Boys and Sex" by Peggy Orenstein
- "The Case Against the Sexual Revolution" by Louise Perry
- eSafety Commissioner website
- It's Time We Talked
- Fight The New Drug
- Collective Shout (Melinda Tankard Reist's work)
- Dr Marshall Ballantyne Jones research
- 2017 Australian study on pornography consumption
Action Steps for Parents:
- Start conversations early—before age two—to build comfort discussing difficult topics
- Talk often and naturally about body safety and online dangers
- Create an environment where children feel safe asking questions
- Establish clear but supportive boundaries around internet use
- Respond calmly and without punishment when children report exposure
- Discuss explicit content in the context of healthy relationships
- Address curiosity as normal while explaining why certain content is inappropriate
- Help children develop critical thinking about media messages
- Install appropriate safety measures on devices
- Maintain ongoing conversations about consent and healthy relationships
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