Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Every conflict between children involves two participants, not one. Breaking the destructive cycle requires recognising your child's role in the drama. Meanwhile, a little sweet talking can transform how your teen receives disappointing news, proving that tone matters more than content when communicating with kids. Discover how thoughtful delivery of bad news and understanding conflict cycles can revolutionise your family relationships.

Quote of the Episode:

"What we say matters a lot less than how we say it." - Justin Coulson

Key Points:

• How you deliver bad news to children significantly impacts their response and your relationship.
• Showing empathy and consideration demonstrates understanding and improves children's receptiveness.
• Ongoing conflicts between children create a "vicious circle" that needs conscious intervention to break.
• Teaching children to recognise their contribution to conflict cycles is essential for resolution.
• Children can learn to break the cycle by either changing their emotional response or changing their behavioural response.
• You can only control your own actions in a conflict, not the other person's.
• Helping children take ownership of their part in conflicts builds emotional intelligence.
• Breaking conflict cycles is a skill that benefits children throughout their lives.

Resources Mentioned:

• "10 Things Every Parent Needs to Know" by Justin Coulson (contains detailed information on breaking conflict cycles)
• Happy Families 

Action Steps for Parents:

1. When delivering bad news, use a considerate tone and show empathy ("sweet talking") to soften the blow.
2. Draw the "vicious circle" with your child to help them visualise their role in conflict cycles.
3. Discuss two ways to break the cycle: changing emotional responses or changing behavioural responses.
4. Have these teaching conversations during calm moments, not during active conflicts.
5. Remember that breaking conflict patterns takes time and consistent practice.

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