Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Stop trying to control other people's moods, opinions, and behaviours—it's exhausting and impossible. Instead, try Mel Robbins' revolutionary "Let Them Theory" which teaches two simple words—"let them"—to reclaim your power and energy. When you stop obsessing over what others think or do, you finally focus on what matters: your own life. But that's only half the equation. The crucial second step is saying "let me" take action on what I CAN control.

# Quote of the Episode:

"The truth is other people hold no real power over you unless you give it to them." - Mel Robbins

Key Points:

• The Let Them Theory consists of two parts: "let them" (accepting what others do) and "let me" (choosing your own response).
• When you stop trying to manage other people's emotions and behaviours, you reclaim your energy.
• "Let them" doesn't mean being a doormat—it means acknowledging you can't control others.
• Your happiness is tied to your actions, not someone else's behaviour, opinions, or moods.
• Hacking your stress response by saying "let them" and taking a breath interrupts your reactivity.
• Trying to please everyone typically results in pleasing no one and exhausting yourself.
• The method works for handling difficult colleagues, judgmental family members, and stressful situations.
• This approach is primarily for adult relationships, not parenting young children who need guidance.
• Setting boundaries is still important—"let them" doesn't mean accepting harmful behaviour.
• People-pleasing often leaves you feeling empty and unappreciated despite your best efforts.

Resources Mentioned:

• "The Let Them Theory" by Mel Robbins (New York Times bestseller)
• Mel Robbins Podcast
• Happy Families website

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Next time someone upsets you, say "let them" silently to yourself, then take a deep breath
2. Follow with "let me" and choose a response that serves your wellbeing
3. Identify one relationship where you're trying too hard to please someone and practice letting go
4. Accept that someone will always be disappointed by your decisions—and that's okay
5. Remember that while you can "let them" with adults, parenting requires appropriate guidance and boundaries with children

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