Feb 03 2025 21 mins 3
In this episode, we dive deep into one of the most debilitating emotions we all experience: guilt. Guilt keeps us stuck, sad, and even sick—but what if we could flip the script? I explore how guilt shows up for the betrayer, the betrayed, and in everyday situations, offering actionable strategies to turn this "useless emotion" into a motivator for positive change.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
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The Betrayer’s Guilt:
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Why guilt is unproductive if it only keeps you stuck.
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How to tie guilt to positive actions, like doing or saying something kind to your partner or children.
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How guilt can serve as a motivator for growth and transformation.
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The Betrayed’s Guilt:
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Feeling guilty for revenge thoughts, rage, or anger during early healing stages.
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Why you shouldn’t blame yourself for someone else’s betrayal.
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How to process emotions without acting on them in ways you may regret later.
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Guilt in Everyday Life:
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Feeling guilty for enjoying downtime, indulging in a treat, or taking care of yourself.
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How guilt tied to fun or self-care stems from old beliefs around worthiness and productivity.
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Why giving yourself permission to fully enjoy life is essential to well-being.
Key Takeaways:
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Guilt is often tied to worthiness. If you’re feeling guilty for taking care of yourself, ask why you don’t feel deserving.
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For the betrayed: your thoughts and emotions are normal, especially in early recovery Stages. Give yourself grace and don’t act on impulses that your future self may regret.
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For the betrayer: use guilt as a motivator to make amends and grow into a better version of yourself.
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When you experience guilt, stop and ask: Is this helpful? If not, let it go or turn it into positive action.
Reflection Exercise:
Take a moment to notice when you feel guilty this week.
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What triggered the guilt?
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Is it tied to an old belief about worthiness or responsibility?
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Can you use this guilt to inspire positive action—or is it time to let it go?
Final Thoughts:
Guilt is only useful if it motivates change. Otherwise, it’s just holding you back. Let’s work on replacing guilt with grace, self-compassion, and action that moves you forward.
Resources Mentioned:
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The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough framework
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The PBT Institute programs for betrayers and betrayed
Stay Connected:
If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might need it. Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss next week’s episode!
Resources & Connect with Dr. Debi
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The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.
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For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
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For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
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Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
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Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our FREE masterclass here.
