Her Herd

In today’s episode, we are joined by Matt, who shares his deeply personal journey through pregnancy after loss, the challenges, and the emotional complexities of navigating grief, hope, and the desire to grow their family. Matt's story is one of resilience, vulnerability, and the deep bond he and his wife share as they rebuild after the loss of their daughter, Wren.

Pregnancy after loss is a beast. It’s not just the emotional toll of grieving a lost child while trying to conceive again—it’s about juggling those emotions with the needs of a toddler, the uncertainty of what others will say, and the fear of going through the heartbreak once more. Matt and his wife knew their path wouldn’t be easy, but they also understood the importance of being on the same page, supporting one another, and prioritizing their mental health as they moved forward.

Matt talks openly about the complexities of trying to conceive while grieving, managing anxiety, and the mental strain of the "what ifs" that constantly loom. He shares how important it was to seek professional support, including therapy and online support groups for fathers, to help him navigate this emotional terrain. Staying active, communicating openly with his wife, and finding solace in simple things like running and meditation were key in helping him cope.

As their pregnancy progressed, Matt’s emotions were a mix of joy and sadness—happy to be pregnant again but heartbroken that Wren wouldn't be here to experience it. The journey was filled with the tension of missing out on milestones with Wren while eagerly awaiting their new baby. He also describes how they navigated the emotional complexities with their 3-year-old daughter, Edie, who asked the difficult question: “Is this baby going to die like Wren?”Their response was to be as honest as possible, without burdening her with their own fears.

Through it all, Matt and his wife were determined to create a plan that would support them both physically and emotionally. They worked with their medical team to ensure their wishes for the birth were met and sought continuous support to help manage their anxiety. The birth of their son, Noah, was a moment of both relief and joy, but it also amplified the grief of losing Wren.

Matt's story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the unbreakable bond between partners in the face of unimaginable loss. He offers valuable insights into how to navigate pregnancy after loss, emphasizing the importance of communication, self-care, and seeking the support you need.

As Matt reflects, "Nothing is easy about pregnancy after loss, and it definitely affects both mums and dads, even if us dads don't always find the courage to speak of it." His story of perseverance, love, and loss is one that will resonate with anyone who has experienced the pain of losing a child, and it reminds us that healing is not linear, but with support and open communication, it is possible to move forward and grow your family.

Matt’s advice on navigating pregnancy after loss:

• Prioritize mental health through counseling, therapy, and support groups.
• Stay physically active—whether through exercise, running, or something that helps you reset.
• Communicate openly with your partner and medical team to ensure your needs are met.
• Take time off work to be present at consultations and scans—never feel like you should miss a moment.
• Embrace self-care strategies, like meditation or relaxation techniques, to manage anxiety.

Matt’s story is one of hope, reminding us that even in the darkest moments, there is room for new life, love, and joy. His commitment to honoring Wren’s memory while celebrating Noah’s arrival is a beautiful testament to the power of love and resilience in the face of loss.

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