SA Voices From the Field

In the demanding world of student affairs, professionals are adept at supporting students through crises, but often overlook the need to extend similar care to each other. In this week's "SA Voices from the Field," Dr. Jill Creighton and Dr. Melinda Stoops delve into the complexities of navigating grief and loss within the field, offering strategic insights for supporting colleagues during challenging times.

Understanding the Impact of Grief in Higher Education

Grief is a ubiquitous human experience, but its management within the professional environment, especially in student affairs, can be particularly delicate. Dr. Stoops emphasizes the significance of acknowledging grief and understanding that everyone processes it differently. She encourages a culture of empathy and grace, suggesting that it's critical to check in with colleagues and provide space for them to express their needs without imposing judgments or preconceived notions.

Core Principles for Supporting Colleagues

Dr. Stoops and Dr. Creighton highlight the importance of treating individuals as whole beings, which is fundamental both in student interactions and among colleagues. This holistic approach considers physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being, recognizing that well-being is multifaceted and interconnected.

Dr. Stoops shares practical strategies such as simple breathing exercises to help manage stress. Techniques like "rainbow breathing" and "box breathing" can be powerful tools for grounding oneself in the present moment, which can be crucial between back-to-back meetings or during particularly stressful periods.

Practical Strategies to Recenter and Refocus

Returning to fundamental wellness practices can significantly benefit professionals in student affairs. Dr. Stoops suggests incorporating short walks, breathing exercises, and even hydration breaks into the daily routine to maintain focus and manage stress. These strategies are designed to be quick and easily integrated into a busy workday, offering immediate relief and aiding in long-term well-being.

Supporting Supervisees and Supervisors

The relationship dynamics between supervisors and supervisees can play a crucial role in managing grief. Supervisors are advised to adopt a compassionate and flexible approach, allowing space for supervisees to express their needs and emotions. It's important for supervisors to be vulnerable and share their experiences appropriately, while maintaining professional boundaries and focusing on the needs of their team.

Similarly, supervisees are encouraged to check in with their supervisors, acknowledging the power dynamics but also offering support. This can help create a supportive and empathetic office culture where everyone feels valued and understood.

The Importance of Peer Support

Peer-to-peer support is equally vital. Colleagues should feel comfortable checking in with each other and offering help, understanding that different individuals may need varying levels of support. Simple gestures of checking in can make a significant difference, reinforcing a sense of community and collective care.

Moving Forward with Compassion

As student affairs professionals, it's essential to foster an environment where everyone feels supported, especially during times of grief and loss. By adopting these strategies and understanding the profound impact of empathy and compassion, the field can not only navigate the challenges of today but also build a resilient and caring community for the future.

Emphasizing the importance of holistic well-being, strategic check-ins, and compassionate support, this episode of "SA Voices from the Field" provides invaluable insights for higher education professionals striving to support each other through life's inevitable challenges.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:00:01]:
Welcome to Student Affairs Voices from the Field, the podcast where we share your student affairs stories from fresh perspectives to seasoned experts. Brought to you by NASPA, we curate free and accessible professional development for higher ed professionals wherever you happen to be. This is season 12, continuing our journey through the past, present, and future of student affairs. I'm doctor Jill Creighton, she, her, hers, your essay Voices from the Field host. Just a quick note that we recorded this episode prior to Melinda announcing her departure from Boston College. So while she references her work at BC quite a lot, she just wanted to let you know that she has moved to a new professional opportunity. Today on SA Voices from the Field, we're going to be having a conversation with one of our colleagues about how we navigate tragedy and loss amongst ourselves. We spend so much time doing this work with students that we often don't stop and think about how to support each other in the process or when things happen that are just part of the human experience.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:00:58]:
So I'm pleased to welcome Doctor. Melinda Stoops. As a licensed psychologist, she entered higher education over twenty years ago as the director of a college counseling center. For the past fifteen years, she's served in various administrative roles in student affairs, including as dean of students, associate vice president for student affairs, and deputy title nine coordinator. Melinda prioritizes student well-being in all of her work and is particularly interested in increasing cross campus partnerships to achieve a collective impact on student health and wellness. She earned a PhD in counseling psychology from Indiana State University and an MA in counseling psychology from Radford University, as well as a BA in psychology from Smith College. Melinda, welcome to SA Voices from the Field.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:01:37]:
Thanks so so much, Jill. I'm excited to be here.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:01:39]:
We are very glad to be talking to you today about the very important topic and probably under discussed topic in our field around how we support our colleagues going through trauma and tragedy because we know that in our profession, we're seeing an increase in that. We've been seeing that for quite a few years now. But before we dive into our main topic today, we always like to get to know our guests by asking you, how did you get to your current seat?

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:02:02]:
Oh, that's a great question. I entered higher education as a director of a counseling center. I'm a psychologist. And so when I graduated, I worked in a couple of different settings and just really missed higher education and was fortunate to be able to be hired as the director of a counseling center and then over time was promoted and ended up making my way back into the mental health focus through my work with student health and wellness. And so I've been serving as the associate vice president for student health and wellness at Boston College for a number of years and really find it's a nice combination as a psychologist and as a higher ed administrator.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:02:43]:
What does your portfolio currently include?

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:02:46]:
Right now, I oversee the areas related to student health and wellness, which includes university health services, primary care sports medicine, the counseling center, the center for student wellness, and I also work closely with a care team that works with students impacted by sexual violence. And I also serve as the university deputy title line coordinator.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:03:08]:
That's a lot on your plate right now.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:03:10]:
It is. There are some days where it feels like more than others, but that's the nature of the beast, I guess, in higher education.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:03:16]:
And eventually, we'll do another episode on the title nine updates. It's been a minute, but I would imagine that we're gonna see some additional changes to the proposed rules at some point very soon, and that will be another set of challenges for us to navigate as a field.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:03:31]:
Definitely. That feels like it's a constantly moving piece of work that we need to adjust to.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:03:36]:
Yeah. For about the last twenty years or so, I think there's been a rule change every time there's been an administration change. But with all of the kind of well-being components on your plate right now, our profession is really wholly and solely focused on the weld wellness and well-being of our students, which is where we've been focused and where we should be focused. But oftentimes, we don't necessarily translate or apply that same care or those same strategies of care to our teams or our staff members or those of us that interact regularly with trauma. And that happens for a lot of us in student affairs. But also we have our own worlds that are going at the same time as we're exhibiting care for our students. And I know personally we've had quite a bit of loss in the field as of late, loss and tragedy, and just people navigating their own personal needs around, trauma and grief. And so I'm looking forward to talking to you today about how we can translate some of that work, and apply that to, the people that we work with day in and day out.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:04:36]:
So why don't we start with what are some of the core principles that you think are most critical when we're working with students in a care setting, not from a psychological perspective?

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:04:46]:
Not from a clinical perspective. So in terms of our work with students, I think we look at student and well-being as as a whole person, that well-being encompasses many different elements. So a lot of times we think about that as a physical element of well-being, but also emotional, spiritual. There's a lot of different dimensions of well-being, and we'll see different models for that. Some have seven dimensions, some have nine. But the bottom line is they all recognize that we have more than one way of being healthy. And so it's really when we look at an individual's wellness, whether it's a student or an individual who's not a student, we really wanna look at it in terms of the whole person. And also, really, as much as we can from a prevention framework and and not waiting for things to escalate it and get to the point where it becomes an emergency, but really look at it early on.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:05:38]:
If if someone's not doing well, what can we do to help them take care of themselves and and learn good self care as a foundation for everything moving forward?

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:05:48]:
You mentioned there's a couple of models with varying dimensions. Do you have any models that you particularly rely on in your day to day practice?

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:05:55]:
Well, here at Boston College, our Center for Student Wellness does a great job of prevention work, and they really simplified it into just keeping it in three areas. And so they drill down from from other models, but basically trying to get students to think about wellness in terms of mind, body and soul. And so it's an easy way to just zoom in and make it simple rather than having to remember seven to nine different areas. And so if you think about the mind can be stress management, it can be self talk, mental health, things you do, the body, of course, it's a physical body, and then the soul, what nourishes your soul, whether it's something spiritual or whether it's something like being with your friends can nourish your soul as well. And so we keep it very basic in terms of those three things, and it's really easy to keep those in mind as as you're thinking about self care.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:06:46]:
Are there any tried and true practices that you have in the wellness space and the prevention lens that have served you really well over the years and through generations of college students?

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:06:55]:
I think the things that serve us the best are the most basic, most simple things. The the more complicated you get, like anything, it's it's harder to pick up and harder to carry on and continue with. So one thing that I think is a good tried and true that is really helpful is the idea of breathing and doing this and teaching it in different kinds of ways. So there are something very simple called rainbow breathing, where you picture almost moving your finger along a rainbow and that you breathe in as you go up the rainbow and then breathe out as you go down, if that makes sense, the arc of the rainbow. And so you can do that where you follow each color on the rainbow and then repeat it. And the idea is it's having you sort of slow your breathing and focus on your breathing. There's a technique called box breathing, which is also very popular right now. And it's the idea of picturing a box and you breathe in on one side, breathe out on the other, and hold your breath at one point.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:07:54]:
And the bottom line is the idea of having people really focus on their breathing and controlling your breathing can be really helpful in a couple of ways. One, it makes you focus on the present. So you're not distracted by everything else that's going on, what's bothering you at the moment, but just really being attuned to the moment. And, also, it can be really helpful in managing anxiety, for example. Sometimes when you're anxious, your breathing can be affected. And so, again, slowing your breathing, relaxing can help you calm down in the moment. So I think that's something that you see a lot of people doing is a lot of practitioners focusing on breathing exercises. And, again, even thinking of simple things you can do with movement, we're not focused on go out and run that marathon or go out and run three miles.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:08:41]:
It's like just move, go for a walk in between classes or just get up and stretch or and be you know, the things that you can do that are short and sort of get you moving and help you feel better in the short run. So I think there are more complicated things that that we can do, and and there are things that certainly, we teach our students in lots of different ways. But the idea of just these short things that can make you feel better in the moment can go a long way. Also, one thing that we do here at BC, and and I know is becoming increasingly popular, is the idea of health coaches, but not like you picture a coach at a gym or where your team, but student peer coaches that can talk to you about nutrition, exercise, stress management, and short, like, half hour sessions and give you some tips peer to peer on it. And students have really found that helpful.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:09:34]:
Would you mind taking us through a rainbow breathing exercise? I think that might be really valuable for our listeners. They can probably do this wherever they're listening. Sure.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:09:42]:
I'd be happy to do so. So one thing you can do, if it's helpful for you, is to actually take a pencil and piece of paper and draw a rainbow. And so I would suggest if you're doing that, that you picture maybe five arcs on the rainbow just to keep it simple. So five lines if you picture. And if you don't draw it out, just picture the five lines and picture how at the top of the rainbow, the top one is bigger than the one below it if you picture and so the how it goes smaller. And so what you're going to do is take your finger, and in a minute, we'll do this together. But you're going to start at the bottom left corner of the rainbow, and you're going to trace the arc of the rainbow and trace it all the way back down to the bottom where you're on the other side. And then on that side, what you can do is then keep your finger on that side and go to the next arc right below it, and then you're going to trace that up and all the way across to the other side.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:10:43]:
And then you're going to do that again for the smaller one, and then we'll do that along the five. And how I like to do it is tracing it up and go down, and then start at the bottom and go back up to the top. So you sort of have two cycles of the rainbow. And so when you're at the top arc, I'll breathe in. And then when you get to the top of whatever arc you're on, you breathe out. So I'll take you through it right now, and I'll trace a rainbow and just picture tracing a rainbow along with me. And I will walk you through it verbally for the first round, and then the second round, I'll let you pace yourself with the breathing, if that makes sense. So we're going to start with the outer.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:11:24]:
So you're going to go up the rainbow, breathe in. Now we're at the top and breathe out. Now move over to the next one and breathe in and breathe out. Now we're gonna go up, breathe in, Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. And breathe out.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:12:11]:
And now do it on your own starting with the inner arc, and then I'll do my own and we'll stop together. Just keep tracing your rainbow. Hey. How did that work for you, Jill?

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:12:52]:
I feel very relaxed suddenly. I like learning in these ways because while we do this for the benefit of our listeners, I also get the benefit of it as we're going along.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:13:02]:
Yeah. I do too. Like, when I stop and do it, I'm like, okay. Now I can relax. And so you don't necessarily need a rainbow to do this. As I said, you just trace it on on any surface with your finger or even picture it in the air. But a rainbow is nice to look at when you're doing it as well. And really, you're just inhaling and exhaling and focusing on your breathing.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:13:22]:
And that's really the trick to it.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:13:23]:
So this is one thing that we can all do as people to come back to the moment or to the present when there's stress going on, when things are are hard and it's such a fast thing we can do. I know it's very, very difficult for for those of us who have, like, back to back calendars or are just running from crisis to crisis or difficult moment to difficult moment. And this takes thirty seconds, one minute to recenter. So I think that's a good thing.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:13:47]:
Yeah. And that's an excellent point if you think about it. And if you're in back to back meetings and someone says, oh, you know, there's a student here to see you. You can say, tell them I'll be right out. And if you needed to take a minute to do the rainbow breathing, no one would even notice that there was this huge delay in you coming out. So it really is a nice way to regroup between meetings if you need to.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:14:07]:
Are there other strategies that you might offer for professionals to find that moment to bring their best selves to the next student they're working with?

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:14:15]:
Well, that's a great question. I think just walking is a great one. And you don't have to go out and do a big walk. Like, even if it's just doing a loop around the office or walking downstairs real quick and right back up. Again, it gets your heart going. If you're feeling sort of tired, it'll get your blood flowing and make you feel alert afterwards. So I feel like that's something that can be really helpful too to just help you get moving and regroup. And, also, if if you're distracted by something that's on your mind, it can be good because when you're walking, you'll probably just notice things around you, which can be a different type of distraction.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:14:51]:
So as you're walking, you can intentionally say, okay. I'm gonna pay attention to what I'm hearing and and what I'm seeing as I'm walking to just distract myself from whatever is is in the back of my mind that I wanna leave behind me for the next meeting. And so that's another great example as well. And also just stop and get a drink of water. We all talk about being hydrated, but I think also just, again, focusing on the physical sensation of drinking something can, again, draw your attention to that. So what you're trying to do is sort of ground yourself in different kinds of ways that could be helpful.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:15:23]:
So as I mentioned at the top of the episode, one of the goals in us introducing your voice to the SA Voices audience was to give us some some good strategies for how to navigate tragedy amongst ourselves. Because we know how to do it when we're supporting students. We don't necessarily know how to do it when we're supporting each other. So can you talk to us a little bit about how that works in your world and any advice you have for those of us that are working through both elements?

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:15:52]:
Grief, whether it's a form of a death or some type of other type of tragedy is really, really hard. And I think first of all, especially in the in the workforce where everyone brings something different to the plate, and we don't know what someone's past experience in in dealing with loss has been like or what they're coming in with. So I think, one, recognizing that and giving each other grace to sort of be themselves and to take care of themselves in the way they need to take care of themselves, I think can be really, really helpful for starters. And I also think checking in with people and and how are you doing, what do you need, how's your day going can be really, really helpful. So for starters, I think it's really about checking in with folks and recognizing that what I need could be very different from what you may need or what someone else does. And so if they say, oh, I need this, my job isn't their question whether they really need that or not. It's like, okay. Thank you for telling me, and let's see if we can get that for you.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:16:59]:
So I think the caretaking, there can be lots of different layers to it and with different people in the workforce, lots of different ways that it plays out.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:17:08]:
That checking in with people, I think, is is such a critical moment, especially if you're in a supervisory capacity to be able to say, I'm here as a human being to a human being first and foremost rather than a supervisor. And we know that we can't take that identity off. That's not something that we can that we can put to the side just from the environment that we're occupying, but it's a good space to be able to to do that. And also, I think gives the person being asked the space to answer that question how they feel, feel like they have the capacity to answer that question. So I'm wondering if you have advice as a supervisor, how you would approach that knowing that every person being asked that question is gonna have a different sense of boundaries at work or a different sense of how they would feel safe responding to that question. Yeah.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:17:48]:
That's a great question. I mean, I think first of all, you're right that at work, we all have different boundaries. We have different relationships with our supervisees that even though someone may supervise five people, for example, their relationships are different with those five people. And so I don't think there's any type of canned script you should use. But I think recognizing your relationship, I think one, it's important to acknowledge it and to check-in about it. And someone might say, I'm fair, I'm fine, or I don't want to talk about it. And I think we respect that if they don't want to talk about it. But you can also say, well, if at any point you feel like you wanna talk about it, that I'm here for you, or here are some other resources and letting them know what resources exist.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:18:32]:
And more and more you see colleges and universities having EAP programs or someone on campus that's more of a confidential resource if they need to talk to someone. So there can be good resources you can point someone to if they don't want to talk to you as a supervisor, there could be someone else who feels more comfortable engaging with you about it. And I think this is where I think you have to rely on your judgment in the moment about what makes the most sense. But if something is a recent loss, then maybe that supervision session just you just need to listen to your your staff person talk about what they're needing and and how they're grieving. And if there's one or two things you need to take care of, then we can get to those quickly. But, really, if this is what you need today from me is to listen to you and to support you, I can do that even though that's not what we normally do for the whole session. That's okay today because it makes perfect sense this is what you need. Also, though, I think if something's happening in the workplace that you as a supervisor also likely impacted.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:19:35]:
And so I think that's where it can be a balance where I think one, it's important to take care of yourself and you find out what you need to do to take care of yourself, whether it's talking to someone on campus or someone off campus. But also, it's fine to acknowledge with someone you're supervising that you're having a hard time to, it doesn't mean you should take that whole session and and make it about you because that's not what they need right then. But I think it's okay to be like, yeah, I'm really hurting too. And, like, if they say something that actually resonates with you or you had a similar reaction, I think it's okay to share that because they're not your client that, like, if you're a therapist, they're not your client or they're not the student that you take care of, you're in a different role. And I think being genuine with them can be really helpful as you're dealing with things as well. But being mindful that as you meet with them, that you are their supervisor, and really, it should be more about helping them than them helping you, if that makes sense. Because you can get help from your supervisor or from somewhere else. So it's not that you have to hold everything yourself, but sort of recognizing the the different roles and giving them permission to do what they need to do.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:20:46]:
And at the same time, display a willingness to be vulnerable if it's the right thing for that relationship. Yeah. Given that you're clinically trained and so many of your team members are, what advice do you have for others in student affairs who have clinical training, who are trying to offer support in the moment in that supervision relationship without exceeding the boundaries of what that is and maybe accidentally or inadvertently sliding into that clinical space when that's not what you meant to do?

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:21:10]:
Oh, that's a great question because I think boundaries are really, really important. And so I think it's one thing to say to someone, you've seemed like you're really struggling this week, and and I'm concerned about you. And I want to check-in and see how you're doing. And And is there anything we can do here that would be helpful for you as opposed to taking on the clinical role and trying to dive deeper into what is it that's distressing them so much and and helping them work through it. That's not your role. But I think your role can be to acknowledge it and to help them connect with resources, which are not you. Like, you're not the therapy support you're advising them to. It's to the EAP.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:21:53]:
And they may choose to say, no. I don't wanna see the EAP, and that's their right as well. And so I really think it's really important to be mindful of your role. With that said, I think people with a clinical background, as part of our training, we have talked a lot about boundaries and and and knowing our role. And so I think that just that foundational training is really helpful in just reminding yourself that they're not your clients and that even if you're not practicing, that they're not even your student in a way, you may take care of them in a different kind of way, that they're your colleague. They may be someone you're supervising. They may be just a colleague across the hall who wants to talk to you. And so be mindful that I think we bring things to the table that can be helpful, such as strong listening skills and being empathetic and knowing of resources in a way that some other people might not, but we're not there to help them work through the grief process.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:22:53]:
That's not our role.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:22:54]:
Let's talk about it from a peer to peer perspective. Maybe it's your direct colleague or somebody that is in a different department that you that you wanna be able to check-in with because you know something's happened. And maybe the distance of that relationship is different. Right? We all have colleagues at work who we're very close to from a work perspective, and we have colleagues that were maybe just more adjacent to, and that's pretty normal, especially in a large matrix organization. What advice and tips do you have for checking in and following up and providing support, knowing that grief is something that carries longevity. And in my experience, anyway, a lot of times people can be very strong at the beginning with checking in. But as we get further and further away from the moment where the the critical event occurred, we sometimes kind of back away just over time.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:23:37]:
Yeah. And I think at some level, that's natural that people's needs may change and people may need fewer check ins as time goes on. But I do think that, again, thinking how everyone's different, we can't necessarily make assumptions. So for starters, I'd say checking in is better than not checking in. That even if someone's like, I'm fine, I don't need to talk about it. At some level, there's often the appreciation that you checked in even if they don't wanna talk about it. Because an absence of a check-in might signify like, they might think you don't care or that you're not thinking of them. So I think it's okay to check-in.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:24:13]:
It's also okay to say, you can check-in and not know what to say. You don't have to have the right words, and you could even be transparent and say, I'm checking in. I don't really know what to say or what you need, but I've been thinking about you, and I'm just checking in on how you're doing. And and that can go a long way as well that as a peer, you don't have to have the answers. You don't have to know anything about helping them other than just acknowledging that you're there and and asking them if there's anything you can help with or or what do they need. And I think that's really important. I think sometimes people avoid checking in because they worry they'll say the wrong thing or they won't know what to do when I think most times that check-in in and of itself is really, really meaningful. And you're right that over time, we naturally stop checking in, and and that sort of trails off.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:25:04]:
And there's a point where people don't need check ins anymore. Now with that said, everyone's different. So I think if there are times where there might be a natural point to check-in. So for example, it might be that this person had a certain role on campus, and there was an event that came up that would remind everyone of of this person because they're not there to do that, that might be a natural point to check-in and say, hey, I was thinking about so and so today because of this, and how are you doing? And so sometimes I think there are natural ways of checking in.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:25:36]:
Let's go for the kind of the third version of this relationship, which is you're the supervisee and, you know, your supervisor has experienced something maybe you haven't. What is the the role of the supervisee in this case, knowing that that power dynamic does exist? And how can that check-in feel most appropriate or be best acknowledged?

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:25:54]:
And I think, again, the idea of checking it in and just saying, for example, if it's a loss they experienced that you didn't, is saying, I know you were close to this person, or I know we work closely with this person, or just sort of acknowledging that that relationship exists. And I just wanted to check-in and see how you're doing. And, you know, I know that that's your supervisor. But, again, unless it's your first day of work, you have no relationship with your supervisor. The idea is that you're checking in and asking them how they're doing. I think that, again, they would appreciate the check-in. They might not go into a lot of details and spend the whole time talking about it. But I think just even acknowledging that and saying, like, hey.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:26:32]:
I'm thinking of you and even just something concrete. Like, if there's anything you want me to help with work wise, I'm happy to pick something up if you need a little time. And so, again, giving them an option of them saying, oh, you know what? At the end of this week, there's a this event I'm supposed to go to. And if you could do that instead, it would be great for me to just be able to leave and go home on time that day. And so I think sometimes just there are different ways of helping and sometimes the gift of time and being able to step away so that you can process things is really helpful.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:27:03]:
Are there any other strategies or kind of approaches that you'd like to share when we're navigating grief and tragedy amongst ourselves?

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:27:10]:
It's so tough. And I'll go back to, again, that everyone is different. So I think we need to just be very careful not to make any judgments about how someone's responding. And that could be on either side that there may seems look like there's someone who's not really impacted by it when in fact, we don't know what they're thinking or feeling, and we shouldn't make assumptions about someone else's experience. And so also on the flip side, grief, there's no there's enough timeline where I can tell you, oh, in two months, you're gonna feel better or in six months or whatever. And so everyone agrees differently and on different timelines. And so if you may feel that you're doing better, and starting to move forward and not feel sad every time you come into the office, but that doesn't mean everyone else is moving forward. And so I think we need to recognize that we have a shared experience.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:28:01]:
But yet within that shared experience, everyone is in their own timeline and their own process. And so being accepting of that is really, really important. And these points in in the grief cycle can also you may feel you're doing better and then something happens that can set you back a bit. So for example, one thing I lost a colleague years ago. She passed away suddenly. And one thing that struck me at the time was when her office was cleaned out, we hit me that she had passed away because we had her office hadn't been touched for a few weeks after her passing, and then everything got cleaned out. And seeing the empty office was sort of bringing up everything again. And so things like that or even work tasks needing to be divided or do you bring someone in the interim role? There can be lots of things that that sort of step backwards as we step forward.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:28:54]:
So recognizing that we certainly can make strides forward, and then there may be things that come up in the workforce that make us take a couple steps back. And everyone again is different in that respect.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:29:05]:
Thank you for sharing that. Oh, you're welcome. I'm gonna move us into our theme based questions for the season. Again, our theme this season is the past, present, and future of student affairs. So I've got one question for you on each theme. On the past, what's one component of the history of the student affairs profession that you think we should continue to carry forward or alternatively let go of?

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:29:25]:
That's a big question. I think the idea that student affairs is often pegged as the group that is responsible for all things students outside of the classroom, and that's a big answer. But I think sometimes when there are challenges with students or even just someone's, like, saying, well, our students go home on the weekends. You gotta get them to stay here. You know, it it falls on student affairs. Right? I think, like anything, as we move along in higher ed, I think efforts are being made more and more to undo silos. And that goes with student affairs in our tasks, that a lot of our tasks and our skill set are specifically focused on student development and how to help our students grow and thrive, but also it truly takes a village. And actually, I think sometimes the best responses to some challenging situations.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:30:24]:
And I think this most, like, most recently with all of the protests and demonstrations last year is really, like, a whole campus effort. And so I think that's one thing of letting go of is thinking, okay, that sometimes a whole community resolution to challenging situations is better than any one division. So that's a long answer to one thing to maybe get rid of, but it's shifting away from the silos. I think it's something that a higher ed in general is doing and is moving in a great direction.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:30:50]:
On the present, what's happening in the field right now that's going well for student affairs?

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:30:54]:
I think going back to health and wellness, I think that really at this point in time, there is so much focus in a positive way on student well-being. I think sadly, it came because of the pandemic and that we had talked for years about the mental health crisis of students. But I think the pandemic shifted that in a way that it was the mental health crisis, but also acknowledging the power of relationships and the idea of loneliness and social isolation and the digital environment, which can sometimes be unhealthy. And so I think as a result, what we're seeing is much more of a proactive prevention approach and also more of a public health lens in looking at student well-being, which I think is excellent. And I'm really excited to see that.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:31:45]:
And the future. In an ideal world, what does the field need to do to thrive towards our future?

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:31:51]:
I think if talking specifically about student affairs now, I think we really need to look at how we develop our newer professionals in the field. And what I mean by this is is we have a lot of wonderful people come in. They're excited about the work. And you do see newer professionals, I think more so than in the past. And I don't have data to support this. So this is just my anecdotal piece, but feeling like more often than in the past, they're choosing to leave higher ed after a few years. And I think there's lots of things that can play a role into that. It could be that maybe they find a role elsewhere where the salary's higher or they may say, oh, if if I go work here, I can work remote all the time, and I don't have to come into campus, or I don't have to be on call.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:32:40]:
And so there's always a reason why anyone could leave any job. But I think there's so many rewards in higher education and in student affairs that outweigh these other things. And I think what we really need to do is when newer professionals come to the field and start that we really need to focus on supporting them and as they grow into their roles to going back to the the check-in piece to check-in with people to provide professional development so that they see a path forward to and get excited about training opportunities, mentoring relationships, professional development opportunities, I think that can go a long way down the road. And so I think moving forward, that's something we really need to do. We have a lot of people in student affairs retiring or close to retirement age. And as we think about the profession, it's really important as the next generation moves in that they really love this work and stick around.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:33:42]:
It's time to take a quick break and toss it over to producer Chris to learn what's going on in the NASPA world.

Chris (Producer) [00:33:47]:
Thanks, Jill. So excited to be back in the NASPA world, and there's a ton of things happening in NASPA. The twenty twenty five TPE, better known as the placement exchange, will be having its spring placement career fair coming up on February 20 with interviews happening on March 3 through the seventh. Registration for these events closes on February 17. This spring placement event brings together highly talented student affairs candidates and top employers in a fully virtual setting. Spring placement offers a unique opportunity for personalized candidate screening and interview experiences. If you are currently looking for your next position or your first position, TPE is a great place to go to be able to be able to find opportunities and to be able to search further for your future career. If you wanna find out more, go to the placementexchange.org.

Chris (Producer) [00:34:41]:
That's all one word, the placementexchange.org. Just recently, the Journal of Women and Gender in Higher Education put out a call for manuscripts for the 2027 special issue. The Journal of Women and Gender in Higher Education is going to be having a special issue called Diasporic Black Women, Global Insights for the Future of Higher Education. This special issue aims to elevate the perspectives of Black women who are epistemologically committed to knowledge generation in and through the global South. By curating articles that center diasporic black women's insight and theorizations, the journal is seeking to explore solutions and possibilities for a more equitable and emancipatory future in higher education. All NASPA members should have received a email about this. And if you have a manuscript that you would like to submit, manuscripts must be a maximum of 25 double spaced pages and follow APA style and submissions are due by 06/15/2025. Another professional development opportunity that's coming up is the Collaborate twenty twenty five conference.

Chris (Producer) [00:35:51]:
Collaborate twenty twenty five is an innovative global partnership in student affairs and services between NASPA, IUCAA, which is the European University College Association, and SAI or Student Affairs Ireland. Collaborate twenty twenty five will be hosted by Munster Technological University. This conference will be happening June 18 through June 20 in Cork, Ireland. And it is an amazing opportunity to be able to bring together people from both Europe, The United States, and beyond to be able to come together to find new ways to work collaboratively together in helping our students succeed. Highly encourage you to check out this great professional development experience. You can find out more at iuca,euca,.eu/collaborate-2020five. To stay on the international theme, another international conference that's coming up is the nineteenth annual Manasa NASPA conference, which is happening April 27 to April 30 in Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates. The MANASA NASPA conference provides student affairs professionals with the knowledge and skills to effectively address and support college students.

Chris (Producer) [00:37:02]:
MANASA, which stands for Middle East, North Africa, South, as well as NYU Abu Dhabi, invites you to the nineteenth annual MANASA NASPA conference that's going to be held in The United Arab Emirates on Sunday, April 27 through Wednesday, 04/30/2025. This three day conference is an opportunity to connect with colleagues regionally and abroad. The topic of the conference this year is Beyond Borders, exploring global and local perspectives on student experience in the Manassa area. Student affairs is playing a vital role in shaping students' experiences in higher education institutions. The nineteenth Manassa Conference Organizing Committee invites you to participate in this great conference that's going to bring together people from around the world and help you to be able to identify new opportunities to connect with your students on a different level and connect with students globally on a different level. Highly encourage you to check out the conference for yourself. There is a schedule at a glance that is out on the NASPA website. If you go under events on the NASPA website, you'll be able to find out more on this conference as well as being able to register for the conference.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:38:14]:
We currently are in the regular registration rate, so you can still register to attend this amazing conference. Every week, we're going to be sharing some amazing things that are happening within the association. So we are going to be able to try and keep you up to date on everything that's happening and allow for you to be able to get involved in different ways because the association is as strong as its members. And for all of us, we have to find our place within the association, whether it be getting involved with the knowledge community, giving back within one of the the centers or the divisions of the association. And as you're doing that, it's important to be able to identify for yourself. Where do you fit? Where do you wanna give back? Each week, we're hoping that we will share some things that might encourage you, might allow for you to be able to get some ideas that will provide you with an opportunity to be able to say, Hey, I see myself in that knowledge community. I see myself doing something like that. Or encourage you in other ways that allow for you to be able to think beyond what's available right now to offer other things to the association, to bring your gifts, your talents to the association and to all of the members within the association.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:39:35]:
Because through doing that, all of us are stronger and the association is better. Tune in again next week as we find out more about what is happening in NASPA.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:39:46]:
Chris, thank you so much for helping us learn what's going on in and around NASPA. And, Melinda, we've got our lightning round for you. So I've got seven questions for you to answer in about ninety seconds. You ready to roll? I am. Alright. Question number one. If you were a conference keynote speaker, what would your entrance music be?

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:40:04]:
Oh, this is a tough question. I think it would be something from Hamilton, actually. I'm not sure which one, but something with a little attitude.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:40:15]:
Number two, when you were five years old, what did you wanna be when you grew up?

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:40:19]:
Maybe a nurse. I think I wanted to be a nurse back then.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:40:21]:
Number three, who's your most influential professional mentor?

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:40:24]:
There are a number of people I see as mentors, but I think the one that has had the greatest impact me, this is not lightning round, but I'll make it quick, is a former supervisor of mine years ago who has since retired, doctor Suzanne Conley at Framingham State University because of two things. One, she saw potential in me. She helped me get recognized for my work, and she was very transparent. And I always appreciated knowing what she was thinking, and I feel like I have carried that transparency with me. And also, she had a great sense of humor, and I also feel like I bring humor more to my work. So she say shaped me into the professional I am.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:41:05]:
Number four, your essential student affairs read.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:41:07]:
Okay. In the spirit of a read that makes me not stressed out and takes me away from work, I would say I would use anything by Stephen King as an escape from reality. And sometimes, you know, you see scenarios that you're like, as a student affairs professional, I could handle that. So that's my essential student affairs read.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:41:30]:
Number five, the best TV show you've been binging lately.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:41:33]:
That's a tough question because I don't watch a lot of TV, but I've been watching Jeopardy almost every night for as long as I can remember. Even when I was in college, I recorded whatever. So I say Jeopardy.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:41:45]:
Number six, the podcast you've spent the most hours listening to in the last year.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:41:49]:
This is very sad, but I don't really listen to podcasts.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:41:53]:
And finally, number seven, any shout outs you'd like to give personal or professional? Ugh.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:41:58]:
Well, I am going to give a shout out to my family. And that's David, my husband, and my daughter Molly, who is in college and my daughter Addison. And I say that because, you know, at the end of the day, they're there with me. And as we talk about sort of highs and lows in our life, like, they're not the highs and lows. I mean, they are, but they're also there for me in moments of highs and lows. And so talk about people who, you know, always have your back. So I'm shouting out to my family.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:42:27]:
Melinda, it's been so valuable to learn from you today and to hear your insights on what's going on to support each other in the space of student affairs. If anyone would like to reach you after the show, how can they find you?

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:42:38]:
Sure. The best way to find me would be on LinkedIn, Melinda Stoops. You will see me right there, and I would be happy to connect with you and feel free to message me.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:42:48]:
Melinda, thank you so much for sharing your voice with us today.

Dr. Melinda Stoops [00:42:50]:
Thanks, Jill.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:42:56]:
This has been an episode of SA Voices from the Field, a podcast brought to you by NASPA. This show is made possible because of you, the listeners, and we continue to be grateful that you spend your time with us. If you'd like to reach the show, you can always email us at [email protected] or find me on LinkedIn by searching for doctor Jill L. Creighton. We always welcome your feedback and your topic and guest suggestions. We'd love it if you you take a moment to tell a colleague about the show, and please leave us a five star rating on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you're listening now. It really helps other student affairs professionals find our show and helps us to become more visible in the larger podcasting community. This episode was produced and hosted by doctor Jill Creighton.

Dr. Jill Creighton [00:43:35]:
That's me. Produced and audio engineered by doctor Chris Lewis. Special thanks to the University of Michigan Flint for your support as we create this project. Catch you next time.