Mar 26 2025 15 mins
Rage is rarely discussed in parenting circles, yet many mothers experience moments of intense anger toward their children that leave them feeling guilty, confused, and deeply ashamed. As a licensed therapist and parent who's navigated these turbulent emotions firsthand, I'm pulling back the curtain on this taboo topic with complete honesty.
During this raw conversation, I share my personal experiences with mom rage, including moments I'm not proud of and the violent thoughts that shocked me as a typically gentle person. The paradox is striking: I've never felt more anger toward anyone than my own children, yet simultaneously have never felt more profound love for any human beings. This contradiction lies at the heart of the parenting journey for many of us.
The breakthrough moment came with one simple realization: unmet needs fuel our rage.
When we're chronically sleep-deprived, nutritionally depleted, lacking adult connection, and missing a sense of accomplishment, our capacity for patience evaporates. Rather than suggesting unrealistic self-care solutions, I offer two practical approaches that transformed my experience: self-compassion and boundary-setting.
Learning to drop the "shoulds" from my internal dialogue and creating a personal mantra—"All I can do is all I can do and that is enough"—became oxygen to my overwhelmed mind. Similarly, establishing healthy boundaries around what I could realistically give to my children prevented the resentment that fueled my anger.
Whether you've experienced fleeting moments of rage or struggle with ongoing anger toward your children, this episode provides a judgment-free space to understand these emotions and practical tools to manage them. If you've found value in these insights, please take a moment to rate, comment, and subscribe to the Sustainable Parenting Podcast so you don't miss our upcoming discussion on "self-care bulldozing."
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