Dec 19 2024 31 mins
In episode of the Confident Sober Women podcast, host Shelby welcomes Julie, to discuss navigating boundaries and saying "no" during the holiday season.
Julie shares her journey from a social drinker to finding herself in isolated drinking patterns after having children and moving to the suburbs, ultimately leading to her decision to quit alcohol.
The conversation delves into the evolution from early sobriety to emotional sobriety, highlighting how recovery transforms relationships and personal growth. Julie and Shelby discuss the importance of developing a strong "A-Team" of supportive relationships and how priorities shift with age and sobriety, emphasizing quality connections over quantity.
Key takeaways include:
- The challenge of saying "no" stems from fear of disappointing others
- Practical strategies for setting boundaries, including the DEAR MAN technique (Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Mindful, Negotiate)
- How to start small with boundary-setting and build confidence
- Ways to compromise while maintaining personal limits
- The importance of allowing others to have their feelings about your boundaries
- Tips for holiday-specific situations like family gatherings and work parties
The hosts emphasize that boundary-setting is a skill that requires practice, starting with small decisions like dinner choices before tackling bigger challenges like holiday commitments. They share practical examples of how to communicate boundaries effectively, including using "yes, and" statements instead of "but" to create win-win situations.
Julie explains how validating others' feelings while maintaining personal boundaries can lead to better outcomes, and both hosts discuss the value of taking time to reflect before responding to requests. They share personal examples from parenting and professional situations, demonstrating how these principles apply across different life areas.
Connect with Julie through Instagram, Facebook, or her website Julie Derashynski Coaching, or email her at [email protected].
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Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my program Sober Freedom Transformation is now open! It is for women who have been sober for a year to many and are ready to discover who they want to be in long term sobreity, develop confidence and improve their relationships.
If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.
And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerably so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.