Aug 03 2024 57 mins
Today we're talking with Ngina Otiende, a marriage coach who is helping us deconstruct some harmful ways we’ve viewed marriage and divorce. Does God really hate divorce, or is that a mistranslation of the verse? Is marriage meant to make us holy or is it also meant to be good and bring joy? PLUS, we take a FASCINATING sidebar to discuss why some Christians refer to God as “they!”
I LOVED this interview and can't wait to share it with you. XOXO, Tiffany
HERE ARE TODAY'S QUESTIONS:
Q1: What does deconstruction mean to you? (@4:42)
Q2: How do you understand biblical intent and how has that evolved on your journey? (@6:58)
Q3: Let’s dive into your story. Would you share with us what your life and faith were like growing up? (@8:06)
Q4: Let’s talk about theology around marriage and divorce. How do you think this topic has been understood in western evangelical circles in the last couple decades? What have been some fruits (good or bad) of that perspective? (@10:38)
Q5: What led you to begin deconstructing these ideas of marriage and divorce that were handed to you? What was that process like for you? (@14:12)
Q6: Are there scripture passages that have been misunderstood, or even weaponized to keep people in unhealthy marriages? If so, can you break those down for us and help us understand them better? (@18:19)
Q7: When you look at the Bible as a whole, and at Jesus Himself, what have you come to believe God’s heart is toward marriage and divorce? (@27:30)
Q8: Why do some Christians refer to God as “They”? Where does that come from biblically? (@30:54)
Q9: What do you believe a healthy marriage should look like for Christians? It’ll look different for everyone, but are there key pillars that are often found in healthy marriages? (@39:05)
Q10: We’ve heard that divorce is okay if there’s harm or unfaithfulness in a marriage. But is there ever a time when there’s no “harm” there, but divorce is still the loving and healthy option? How do we know if this is true for our specific situation? (@46:48)
Q11: How can we as the church do a better job of ministering to people who are (A) going through a divorce or (B) setting boundaries in a relationship that needs healing? (@52:13)
Q12: You have a ton of resources for people trying to navigate marriage, divorce, and healthy relationships. Can you share your resources, and where my listeners can find you? (@55:40)
WHERE TO FIND NGINA OTIENDE:
⭐️Instagram: @nginaotiende; Facebook: @intentionaltoday
⭐️Book: Courage: Reflections and Liberation for the Hurting Soul https://intentionaltoday.com/courage-reflections-and-liberation-for-the-hurting-soul/
⭐️ Free eBook "16 Things You Won't Find in a Healthy Marriage" https://intentionaltoday.com/marriage-library/
⭐️Blog: https://intentionaltoday.com/blog
⭐️Website & Resources: IntentionalToday.com
NGINA’S RECOMMENDED RESOURCES:
⭐️For partners who wonder if it's more that just a really difficult relationship. "Is This Abuse? Recognizing Red Flags." by Sarah McDugal: https://www.wildernesstowild.com/is-it-abuse/
⭐️"Are you in an emotionally abusive Christian marriage?" Take the quiz. By Natalie Hoffman, www.emotionalabusequiz.com
⭐️SAFER CHURCHES | Awareness Seminar by Sarah McDugal, introduce your community to more effective ways to prevent and respond to abuse. www.wildernesstowild.com/safer-churches-seminar/
⭐️Healthy marriage advice and research (in which they have identified that a lot of stuff taught in church about marriage, sex, and gender roles actually leads to worse sex and less happy marriages.) https://baremarriage.com/
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