Feb 22 2022 48 mins 7
When we are trauma-bonded, it's nearly impossible to see the truth. By design, isolation and self-doubt are an intrinsic part of a trauma bond, which is why it's so hard to extract ourselves from the patterns of toxicity and abuse. Today’s guest on the Radical Intimacy Podcast is Kate Anthony, host of the critically acclaimed New York Times-recommended podcast, The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast, and creator of the groundbreaking online coaching program, Should I Stay or Should I Go? in which she helps women make the most difficult decision of their lives using coaching tools, relationship education, geeky neuroscience, community support, and deep self-work. Kate empowers women to find their strength, passion, and confidence, even in the most disempowering of circumstances, helping them move forward with concrete plans and see that they can put their children at the center of their decisions, not in the middle. In this episode, we talk about trauma bonding, an emotional attachment formed by a cycle of abuse, devaluation, and positive reinforcement, and how to break free.
Key Points From This Episode:
· The physiological and emotional addictions inherent in trauma bonding.
· Some questions to ask yourself to determine if you’re in an abusive relationship.
· Understanding the difference between narcissists and abusers.
· Kate highlights the trauma bond in the story of Beauty and the Beast.
· What Kate believes the ‘men’s movement’ is missing: women’s voices and doing the work.
· How trauma bonds go both ways and the difference between ‘reaction abuse’ and trauma.
· How your childhood trauma informs your chances of ending up in an abusive relationship.
· Find out why Kate believes that abusers can’t change.
· The first step you can take to get out of an abusive relationship: educate yourself!
· The value of finding a therapist or coach who specializes in emotional abuse recovery.
· Kate’s advice for victims of abuse: remember how many times this has happened.
· What to do if you are the victim of physical violence and where you can get help.
· Tips for survivors of an abusive relationship: do the Self-recovery work.
· The importance of going where the energy feels good; where feels like home?
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
Should I Stay or Should I Go? Program
Should I Stay or Should I Go? Facebook Group
Am I the Abuser? with Rhian Lockard
Zoë Kors’ Links:
Zoë’s Book: Radical Intimacy
Coral: Sexual Wellness App
Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline
