Mar 01 2022 38 mins 4
There are plenty of misconceptions out there about what constitutes a sexual transgression, but the truth is that your experience doesn’t need to be violent for it to be a violation. The term sexual trauma is deliberately broad and all-encompassing and includes any non-consensual act. Yet, for many survivors, it takes them years before they can recognize that their experiences were a violation. Today on the show, we get together with Dr. Holly Richmond to help us take a closer look at sexual trauma and unpack how our minds and bodies react to these experiences. Holly is a somatic psychotherapist, a licensed marriage and family therapist, as well as a certified sex therapist. She is also the author of Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex-Positive Guide for Moving Past Sexual Trauma and Living a Passionate Life. In our conversation with Holly, we discuss her work as a therapist, why so many of her patients have taken years to recognize and seek help for their trauma, and the reasons behind why so much of sexual trauma is tied up with feelings of shame and low self-worth. We also dive into the dissonance between our mind and body after experiencing sexual trauma, and how survivors can begin to move from a state of surviving to thriving. Today’s conversation is both hugely informative and deeply empathic. It sheds valuable light on the experiences of so many individuals and ultimately shares an empowering message of self-actualization, sex positivity, and pleasure!
Key Points From This Episode:
● The definition of sexual trauma and the importance of having an all-encompassing term.
● Why sexual trauma isn’t necessarily violent, but always non-consensual and violating.
● The role that shame and low self-worth play in repeated instances of sexual trauma.
● Why it takes many survivors years before they recognize and seek help for sexual trauma.
● The dissonance between mind and body after a traumatic event.
● How society has conditioned us to ignore our trauma in order to stay productive.
● Some of the initial steps that survivors can take in addressing their trauma.
● The four types of trauma response: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.
● A definition of the lesser-known response fawn, and why it’s described as 'freeze with a smile on your face'.
● The distinction between surviving and thriving, and the role that pleasure plays in thriving.
● The role of eroticism and sexual fantasy and how that can be nourishing and healthy.
● How Holly’s book addresses issues around sexual fantasy, trauma, and integration.
● Holly’s advice on how to find a sex-positive therapist.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Dr. Holly Richmond
Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex-Positive Guide for Moving Past Sexual Trauma and Living a Passionate Life
The American Association of Sexuality, Educators, Counselors, and Therapists
Zoë Kors’ Links:
Zoë’s Book: Radical Intimacy
