E08: Rewrite Your Sex Script with Dr. Ian Kerner


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Mar 08 2022 36 mins   14

Welcome to another episode of the Radical Intimacy podcast! Today we are joined by licensed psychotherapist, sexuality counselor, and best-selling author, Dr. Ian Kerner to talk about sex scripts. We find out what a sex script is, exactly, and how the structure of it makes room for spontaneity in the bedroom. Dr. Kerner shares his approach to encouraging couples to rewrite their sex scripts in therapy, and what his clients typically find challenging. We discuss the power of psychological arousal, open communication, and shared fantasy, as well as the important distinction between consensual and non-consensual objectification. Furthermore, Dr. Kerner shares his insight into the damaging repercussions of pornography, and the principal differences between mainstream and ethical porn. Tune in to find out how to rewrite your sex script!

Key Points From This Episode:

• What inspired Dr. Ian Kerner to write So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex and what the title signifies, in terms of his sex therapy approach.

• What a sex script is and why it’s important to structure your sex life.

• The power of psychological arousal.

• The benefits of sexual dialogue and shared fantasy.

• What it means to have safety in a sexual relationship.

• Face-to-face psychological arousal versus side-by-side experiences.

• The ethical erotica available to us!

• How people are yet to exercise and explore their erotic imagination.

• The difference between consensual objectification and non-consensual objectification.

• The damaging repercussions of pornography.

• The difference between mainstream porn and ethical porn.

• Sex as a resource for positivity in a relationship.

• The importance of communication with yourself and your partner.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Dr. Ian Kerner

Dr. Ian Kerner on Twitter

She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex Our Love Lives

Ian Kerner TED Talk

Zoë Kors’ Links:

Zoë’s Website

Zoë’s Book: Radical Intimacy

The Radical Intimacy Podcast

Coral: Sexual Wellness App