Mar 25 2025 18 mins 1
Frustrated That Listening Isn’t Bringing You Closer? How to Build a Deeper Connection
Are you tired of listening to your spouse but not feeling any closer? In this episode of Reconciling Marriages with Coach Jack, Christian psychologist, author, and relationship coach Dr. Jack Ito shares why simply understanding your spouse isn’t enough to build an emotional connection. Discover how to break out of the friend zone and create real intimacy with just a few practical changes.
What You’ll Learn:
- Why understanding alone doesn’t build connection and how it can even push your spouse away.
- How to make your spouse feel emotionally connected rather than just heard.
- Practical examples of effective and ineffective responses that either build connection or create distance.
- How to transform reassurance and helping into genuine connection that strengthens your relationship.
Want to Work With Coach Jack?
If you're frustrated that your spouse still feels distant despite your best efforts, it might be time to take a different approach. My Re-Connections Coaching Package will help you learn practical strategies to reignite your relationship and move from feeling stuck to feeling close again. Visit CoachJackIto.com to get started.
Key Takeaways:
- Simply reflecting your spouse’s feelings doesn’t build connection—it can create more distance.
- Empathy and agreement should be balanced with positive, connecting responses.
- Reassurance and problem-solving don’t build emotional connection—focus on emotional resonance instead.
- Changing how you respond can dramatically improve how your spouse feels about you.
Additional Resources:
- Listening Better: A No Conflict Way to Start Rebuilding Your Marriage - One of the first steps to rebuilding a relationship.
- Free downloads to help you improve communication between you and your husband or wife.
- How to Get Your Husband or Wife to Listen to You (article/podcast). – Because sometime you need to be the one to talk.
- Why It's Important to Show Regular Appreciation to Your Spouse - Just as with agreement and empathy, expressing appreciation is another way to validate.
Work one-on-one with Coach Jack to repair your relationship using small, easy steps that rebuild connection quickly. Visit CoachJackIto.com to learn more about relationship coaching.