Mar 20 2025 49 mins
The invisible wounds of childhood often shape our adult lives in ways we never recognize. In this revealing conversation, trauma coach Jim Bernardo shares his journey from successful technology executive to men's group facilitator and trauma recovery specialist, uncovering how our earliest messages create the neural pathways that determine our responses decades later.
Drawing from his graduate studies in behavioral psychology and his personal healing journey, Bernardo explains why most men initially claim they experienced no childhood trauma. Research demonstrates how differently we treat children based solely on perceived gender – expecting emotional stoicism from boys while encouraging emotional expression in girls. These seemingly small but repeated experiences literally wire circuits in the brain that persist into adulthood, creating automatic responses we often don't understand.
Perhaps most fascinating is Bernardo's perspective on language as the key to healing. "We don't describe our experiences with language. We create them with the language we give to them," he explains, illustrating how trauma recovery involves consciously reshaping our internal narratives about past events. While techniques like EMDR can help access buried emotions, the fundamental healing comes through giving different language to experiences that have controlled us from the shadows.
For men specifically, trauma often manifests as "covert depression" – presenting as irritability, physical symptoms, risk-taking behaviors, or disproportionate rage rather than recognizable sadness. Through his book "Echoes of Broken Skies" and his trauma coaching work, Bernardo helps men recognize these patterns and develop the awareness to pause between trigger and response – creating space for healing and preventing relationship damage caused by reactive behaviors.
Whether you're struggling with unexplained anger, feeling disconnected from yourself and others, or simply curious about the profound impact of language on our experience of reality, this conversation offers valuable insights into reclaiming your authentic self through conscious awareness and the deliberate reshaping of your personal narrative.
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