Feb 05 2024 25 mins 1
In a perfect world I think we could agree that keeping marriages healthy and two parents in the house raising the children is the optimal situation. But, we live in a less than optimal world. As this relates to the home we often have marriages coming apart and children being raised by parents or step parents that often desire little to do with each other. The result can be a devastating environment to raise a child.
In our work at Rock Solid Families we see divorced or separated parents attempting to raise their children on a frequent basis. We also get a front row seat to the challenges that come between the parents and often resulting in hurt and suffering for everyone involved, mom, dad, child, step parents, etc…
In today’s show we are going to tackle this subject head-on. We are going to give you 5 must-dos if you are going to find success in raising your child that you share.
Advice -
7 “Must Do’s” to Raise Healthy Kids Through Co-Parenting
1. Put boundaries on personal attitudes towards each other, especially if they are interfering with the raising of the children. Past hurts can make it very difficult to put aside the hurt and strive towards coming together for the sake of raising a healthy and well adjusted child.
2. Develop a common parenting plan… that consist of -
Common Values
Common Expectations
Common Consequences
Common Rewards
3. How do you do that? It’s ok to Start with your dreams and wishes for your child but then you have to Ask the question: What’s best for the family? Be aware of the Child manipulating parents or parents using the child to manipulate the other parent. (This is dangerous on many levels and especially for the future of the child.)
4. Strive for Equal but Flexible Time - Time needs to be equally split between both parents. Many divorces place the children with one parent a majority of the time while the other receives visits and weekend sleepovers. This may be convenient, but research has proven it to be detrimental to your children and even the parents. Do whatever you can do to Work toward healthy even if one or more of the parents are not. https://www.statnews.com/2017/05/26/divorce-shared-parenting-children-health/
5. Never talk bad about each other - Communicate necessary messages, not emotions - If you have to use restricted communication such as texts or emails and there is a concern about things taken out of context, consider using a common app such as Our Family Wizard. Transparency in communication is key.
6. Stability and Predictability create Security. Routines, expectations, and discipline are among the greatest things parents can use to create a stable and secure environment.
7. Get Help! Mediation, Coaching or Counseling can be the best investment you will ever make in this situation. Rock Solid Families is able to help!
Be mindful of the fruit that your parenting is going to produce. Being in conflict with your ex and then putting the children in the middle is only going to damage and destroy the fruit of the family.
Galatians 6:7-10 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10 Therefore, a
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