Irreplaceable to Him

by Autumn Dickson

When I read Mormon, I feel as though I’m reading his journal. He had been commanded by Ammaron to find the records that had been hidden and add his own observations. These sacred writings were always meant to come to us, the House of Israel in the latter days, and yet, Mormon also seemed to simply write about his own experiences and life.

Here is one of the things he expresses.

Mormon 2:18 And upon the plates of Nephi I did make a full account of all the wickedness and abominations; but upon these plates I did forbear to make a full account of their wickedness and abominations, for behold, a continual scene of wickedness and abominations has been before mine eyes ever since I have been sufficient to behold the ways of man.

Throughout his life, Mormon saw the worst of the worst. He saw plenty of bloodshed on the battlefield, and he saw the utterly wasteful destruction of women and children to idols. He spoke about being forbidden to preach the gospel to his people. He talked about refusing to join them, about being an idle witness to all of the darkness.

Mormon watched these things and yet, he continued to love them. Because he loved them, he suffered long. In this manner, Mormon is a type of Christ.

Mormon as a type of Christ

There are many ways in which Mormon is a type of Christ. He was quick to observe. He was obedient. He was prepared and sober. These are all incredible qualities that can teach us about Christ. However, there is one specific characteristic that I want to talk about that helps us really learn about our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Mormon’s love and long-suffering towards his people depict exactly how Christ feels about us.

Think about each of the following actions, feelings, and thoughts from Mormon. How do we see Christ represented in each individual aspect?

Mormon tried to preach to his people until he was forbidden to do so. He led his people and fortified their cities to the extent that he could. He got excited when they started to mourn because he hoped it would lead to their repentance, and he felt immense sorrow that they continued to harm themselves and others. He tried to encourage his people with great energy when they were facing off in battle. He stood with them against terrifying odds. He continued on fighting for them even though he knew the end. He refused to help them when they wanted to go to battle for the wrong reasons. He couldn’t help himself from praying for them, even though it was without faith because he knew they were choosing their own destruction. He delivered them from their enemies multiple times. He went back and helped them again in battle after observing them being swept off in a wave of destruction. He fought for them and sacrificed even though he knew that they wouldn’t choose to be saved. His soul was rent with anguish.

Those are many of the experiences that Mormon had throughout the six chapters of this week. I can’t imagine the kind of man that was required to be deeply aware of their impending destruction and simultaneously continue to fight for them. That was the man that Mormon was, and that is the man that Christ is.

Christ’s motivation is love, not perfection

Christ didn’t cut corners and only pay for the sins of those He knew would repent. He didn’t just suffer the agonies of those who were going to come home. He took care of all of it. He sacrificed and fought for those despite being deeply aware that there would be many who would refuse to be cleansed and healed by Him.

I think that oftentimes we pictured Christ doing all of these things because He was perfect and fulfilling God’s plan. These facts are true, but when we look at Mormon as a type of Christ, we see that Christ didn’t do these things because He was perfect, and that’s an important distinction. He did them because He loved us. He couldn’t help Himself from trying even though He knew the end.

I think of righteous parents who can’t stop hoping for their wayward children. They can’t stop the hope that rises each time they repent. They can’t help but feel agony when it doesn’t play out. They can’t help but feel misery when they know deep down that their children are not yet ready to change. Despite everything that the child has done, all they want is for their child to come back around, make amends, and move forward. They would be willing to let go of the past if the child would simply turn around.

Within each of us, He has planted glimpses of what He experiences so that we can understand Him. Like Mormon, we all know what it is to watch someone you love hurt themselves. We know what it is to fight for someone who doesn’t want to be fought for. We know those experiences and those feelings. They are Christlike feelings. Christ has those feelings.

Christ feels. He doesn’t do these things as a perfect robot. He doesn’t do these things because He had to as the perfect, oldest Child of Heavenly Father. He is driven by a deep love. This deep love has caused Him a lot of pain, both as part of His atoning sacrifice that would be left on the shelf by many as well as the sorrow He feels watching them hurt and reject it.

Replaceable

In Doctrine and Covenants 35, the Lord tells us that He gave the keys of the kingdom to Joseph Smith. If Joseph chose to abide in the Lord, he would keep those keys. If he didn’t, another would be placed in his stead. This makes a lot of sense. Heavenly Father wouldn’t throw His entire plan off kilter because Joseph couldn’t get it together. He would have enabled someone else to come and restore the kingdom.

It makes sense, but I personally took this principle beyond its proper bounds as I was growing up. I thought that this sentiment meant I was easily replaceable to the Lord, and He was perfectly willing to leave me behind. As I have reflected on my own, God-given feelings as mother, I have been able to better place myself in His shoes.

If one of my children ever decided to totally destroy their own lives, I would keep moving forward for the sake of the rest of my children. You don’t sacrifice all of them because you lost one. But despite the fact that I would keep moving forward, despite the fact that I would delegate their family responsibilities to my other kids, despite the fact that I would “replace” them, I would never forget them or stop hurting over them.

When Mormon continued to pray and fight for his people, he was without hope because he knew they were choosing their own destruction. He knew that the Lord would stop protecting them. I think sometimes we subconsciously equate that lack of protection and moving forward with Him being angry and not loving us anymore. This is absolutely false.

If one of my kids got deeply into drugs, continually stole from me, and perpetually hurt their siblings, I wouldn’t house them any longer. I would cease protecting them and move forward. Depending on age, that might mean sending them to a rehabilitation center or simply kicking them out if I didn’t have the legal power to take them to rehab. But I wouldn’t house them any longer. At least, my completely inexperienced and naive self believes this is how I would react.

I can understand the sentiment of parents who are in this situation and feel things such as, “I love them. How can I abandon them when they need me the most?” I get that. I really do. True love brings out the desire to forget about yourself and protect the one you love. This isn’t an evil or morally wrong sentiment. I’m also not telling anyone they need to be kicking their kids out because everything is so situational and only the Lord can help you know the right course to take. I’m not telling anyone they are wrong for how they’re choosing to handle difficult situations like this. What I am trying to do is help us understand how Heavenly Father feels.

When it comes to Heavenly Father, He ceases the protection at a certain point. This is not because He abandons them when they need Him most. It’s not because He loves His other children more. Heavenly Father ceases the protection because He loves the wayward child. He is wise enough to understand that people often have to hit rock bottom if they’re ever going to turn around. He loves that individual child too much to enable them. He loves them too much and knows that He can’t teach them, “You can still have everything you want and need. I will protect you no matter what you do. You can keep hurting yourself and your siblings.” Instead, through His actions, He teaches, “It is more important for you to learn the hard way. I’m giving you a gift by teaching you to live better. I love you too much to do anything else. I will still be waiting when you’re ready.”

That was a long tangent that was meant to help us understand the mind of God as He handles His children here on earth. It is meant to help us understand the love He feels as He wisely chooses His reactions. I share this tangent for two reasons.

One. We need to comprehend that Heavenly Father isn’t some nebulous Being that administers mercy and justice in perfection. Rather, He is a loving, feeling Being. He perfectly loves, and that perfect love helps Him perfectly know how to administer mercy and justice according to our needs.

Two. It is essential to understand that even though Heavenly Father may have to move forward without us, even though He may choose to cease protecting us, we are irreplaceable to Him.

Even if I had to make the decision to let my child hit their rock bottom, I would never forget them. I would miss them for as long as they chose to remain separated, even if it meant that I would miss them forever. I would be long-suffering. In other words, I would suffer long because I would love long.

It is the same with our Heavenly Father. Just because He chooses certain reactions in response to our rebellion does not remove His love, it is evidence of His love. Just because He has to administer justice and have a Judgment Day and move forward with those who want to move forward doesn’t mean He will ever stop feeling the ache of the child He lost.

You are irreplaceable to Him. You will never be forgotten if you choose to remove yourself.

I testify of a Heavenly Father and a Savior who act out of love. I testify that we have been given a glimpse of how They feel as we work to react to those we love around us. We were given these feelings so that we could understand Them. I testify that They will wisely do the right thing, but I also testify that you will leave a hole if you choose to not follow. You are essential and important to Them. They will suffer long without you.

Autumn Dickson was born and raised in a small town in Texas. She served a mission in the Indianapolis Indiana mission. She studied elementary education but has found a particular passion in teaching the gospel. Her desire for her content is to inspire people to feel confident, peaceful, and joyful about their relationship with Jesus Christ and to allow that relationship to touch every aspect of their lives.

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