Tell Me About Your Kids

Can you believe that Bonnie and Adam have created 150 episodes of “Tell Me About Your Kids” over the last 3 years?! In this episode, they reflect on the experience, as well as what they’ve both come to understand about Connective Parenting and the universal struggles of parenthood. From punishment to being friends with your kids, to loving but sometimes not liking them, to wo

When little kids fight and hurt each other, it’s all a parent can do not to grab, yell, blame and ultimately shame the hitter. Lee and Andre are learning how to hold their 3-year-old hitter accountable without all that. Instead, Celine learns the natural consequences of her behavior (a lost opportunity with blame) and how to develop her brain to think ahead—as long as Lee and A

There is nothing more urgent for parents today than what their children are or will be doing on social media. Fears run rampant and get in the way of effective communication with children. Devorah Heitner, Ph.D. author of the best seller “Screenwise”, talks with me about our children’s public lives online that she explores extensively in her upcoming book, “Growing Up in Pu

Hannah grew as a person and a parent when she learned the hard way to payattention to her daughter’s experience and not compare it to her own. What 13 yearold Josie has learned to be comfortable with is all new territory for Hannah. In hereager attempt to prove her support for her daughter, she was actually taking care ofherself instead. Listen in for first-hand evidence of the p

Even when connection is strong with her two boys, 14 and 6, screens pose problems for Anne. Her intentions are on track to support the boys’ self-regulation skills but when agreements are broken and sleep is lost, worries take over and tempers rise. Two entirely different temperaments require different expectations. The expectations for her Harmony Child can easily rise and creat

When past learned behaviors pop up and derail connection with her two children, Ellie’s default is to blame herself. She feels so discouraged when they won’t do as she asks. Why can’t I get this right is what echoes in her head until she starts stressing and yelling to get them to do it right. Just by understanding where her thinking comes from is the beginning of de-fusing t

Harry, 9, is an impulsive, Integrity kid* reacting, as kids do, to how he has come to view himself—not good enough, not as loved as his sister, a problem, bad. His parents have raised him by the common myth that ordering and criticizing a child for bad behavior will cause that child to change that behavior—and that one should never give positive attention to negative behavior.

Hallie and her now ex-husband adopted their first child, Kyle. Subsequently she got pregnant with her second son, Kayden, the subject of much resentment for Kyle. In this episode we dig into the many causes of Kyle’s anger as well as his “I don’t care” attitude. Adoption is complicated for a child, and in this case, Kyle feels the rejection twice over. Traditional parenting

Blame is what turns sibling fights into sibling rivalry. Rivalry brings with it pretty constant anger and resentment at least from one child toward another. But it’s hard not to blame the child who hits or deeply hurts another. The parents job is to help children thru their own tough times—not do it for them and not put them down for doing it wrong. Blame never teaches what you

Siblings are going to fight. They are too close to each other not to. It’s tricky to allow their fights without turning them into sibling rivalry. Rivalry is the key word here. Your kids become rivals for your approval. That is unless you are always able to keep your approval neutral and stay out of their fights. That’s the hard part when you see one of them treating the other