The Weekly Humorist Podcast

Washburn County Public School District Town Hall Meeting with Superintendent Rogers: Tuesday 6pm All right! Hey, look at this, you were all able to locate the meeting, even though we changed the date several times and really buried the livestream link. Great! Impossibly great. Let's get started. Thank you teachers, students, parents, bus drivers, members of the press, infrastructur

"The question, directed towards women, seems simple: Would you rather be alone in the woods with a man or a bear? A good number of women prefer the bear." ~CNN "Bumble to Users: You Need Sex. Users to Bumble: Get Lost." ~The New York Times Unless you've been living in a hole in the ground, you've probably already heard of me. I'm the Bear that a majority of women say they would rat

To all the friends and family gathered here today, to all of the amazing professors, and most importantly, to my peers: My heart is full today as I look out and see hundreds of familiar usernames. I'm honored to have the opportunity to celebrate this milestone with you all. College is a unique experience. Uniquely formative, uniquely exciting, uniquely challenging, and let's admit

Hey lovers! So much has changed in the field of human romantic relationships since I last wrote. Yes, it's only been a week, but we've got lots of new ground to cover. It's hard to imagine that relationship experts in the biblical era thought when butt-play was discovered in the ancient cities of Sodom and Gomorrah that we'd crossed the final threshold. Boy, were they wrong. Let's

April 24, 1964: New Jersey Garage Band Installs Remote-Controlled Door, Goes Electric Bob Dylan ditching the acoustic guitar at Newport was an attention grabber, sure, but few people know that it was predated by a New Jersey garage band going electric with a controversial choice of their own: installing a remote-controlled door. The door's pivotal role in the Morristown group's set

A Moveable Girl Dinner Forget the austere glamor of Hemingway's art and alcohol-fueled 1920's Paris - the 2020s have moved the (art?) enclave online, replacing weeks-long European travels and trysts with 20-year-old "girls" nibbling cheese, crackers, and a lone piece of deli meat ham rolled into the tiniest taquito. Alice's Activism in Wonderland Upon witnessing the Red Queen's abu

"My anxiety service iguana ate my homework." "I couldn't get past the group of protesters in front of the school." "My homeroom teacher is still angry that I didn't call her the day after our night together." "My bullet proof vest was still in the wash." "Militia meeting ran late." "Parents arrested for storming government building." "I was pushed out of a window by Vladimir Putin.

Life is a high school prom and no one asked you to be their date. Life is a dream and you showed up to work wearing no pants. Life is an orgy and we're all getting screwed. Life is an ice skating rink and you wore flip-flops. Life is an orgy and everyone is getting screwed except for me. Life is an orgy and I'm standing awkwardly in the corner at the orgy snack table watching every

To: @Trump2024 Cc: @RudyColludy, @UberfuherMiller, @ThatMTG, @TwoShirtsBannon We're looking at the numbers on the "May the Fourth be with You" meme we shared on Twitter, er, I mean X, no, wait "Truth Social," and they are insane! People love seeing the President portrayed in a copyrighted fantasy setting! Trump with a red lightsaber! Lifetime ruler alert! We're working on a video f

Thank you for your interest in my babysitting while you travel for the next seven days. If this is going to work, we must set ourselves up for success by laying out conditions that I find acceptable. I can babysit a maximum of one child. The child must be older than a toddler. The problem with toddlers is that they are prone to accidents, tantrums, and so forth. The child must be y