Can You Don't?

There's a lot of situations one wouldn't want to be in when an earthquake randomly hits... but being in the middle of getting a vasectomy seems pretty high up that list. Let's talk about that, listening to people orgasm for science, low qualifications for being put in charge of potentially saving people's lives, lying about being pregnant in order to save a relationship, and more o

What did the guy who got his dong chopped off by his wife get for his birthday?! He was given an appointment to get all his toes chopped off too! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! Let's talk about that, blowing your load in a birdhouse per your partner's request, passing out while washing your pants in the sink, Joe going on a HOT AIR BALLOON RIDE, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!

Bryan pooped in his bed. I know you are all extremely shocked to hear this news. Let's talk about that, almost breaking into the wrong house, grinding up and smoking human bones in order to get high, bringing a hat pom pom to the vet because you thought it was a dying animal, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra

Imagine two rival gangs facing off in an alley. The hatred they have for each other has been stewing for a little over 35 years and FINALLY... it's time to settle the score. Now, imagine that all the gang members are riding unicycles. Let's talk about that, whether or not flipping a coin is truly 50/50 odds, getting terrorized by random cows for over two years, what the heck is wro

Imagine bringing a newborn baby to a rave... and then getting upset when everyone else around you wasn't super supportive about you bringing a f*&$ING newborn baby to a rave. Let's talk about that, weird ass things you never knew about the human body, actually owing money after trying to get money for amputating your own legs, getting addicted to solving Rubik's Cubes, and more

Pro Tip: If the success of your murder plot pivots on having a large python eat one of your intended targets, you should probably rethink your entire murder plot. Let's talk about that, decking a mascot while on acid at a basketball game, happily filming content for your mom's OnlyFan's account, ordering a hot air balloon ride using Uber, and more on today's episode of Can You Don'

Imagine being trapped in a warehouse with a bunch of murderous Stephen Hawkings going 15 mph. The sound of their evil laugh alone is enough to strike fear into the hearts of any man. Let's talk about that, police trying to interrogate a pigeon accused of spying, getting stabbed with a bundle of pens by stranger on an airplane, sledding dead bodies down the stairs, and more on today

Have you ever been just driving down the road and decided to throw an entire bag of fast food trash out the window? WHO DOES THAT?! Let's talk about that, incriminating yourself with oddly specific google searches, where the hell St. Patrick's Day came from, bowling with your literal balls out, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and a

If you were sitting on a nearly million dollar insurance payout, would you venture out to your town's annual Christmas tree throwing contest in order to defend your title and risk getting publicly seen throwing a Goddamn Christmas tree? Let's talk about that, sucking spaghetti through a straw, one of the wildest renditions of a hotdog ever concocted, getting elbowed in the ribs by

Have you ever been so drunk that your friends ditch you at home so you decide to sit in the shower and end up flooding the entire house where 18 people are also staying? Let's talk about that, eating all your clothes, banging your husband's twin brother on the side for years, how many escalators are in the entire state of Wyoming, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! ***