Sweet Valley Hive

May 07 2024 11

Sweet Valley Hive Podcast artwork

Sweet Valley Hive is the hottest new book club to hit the school! Join us (Robert Marx, newbie and Rebecca Pardo, superfan) as we neurotically parse the text, subtext, and outfits of Sweet Valley High, the beloved soapy series of the 80s. From school dances to amnesia to hysterical paralysis, we’ll cover the trials and tribulations of America’s most troubled and triumphant twins.

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“Bad Mood Holiday” (Sweet Valley High Super Edition #5, Winter Carnival)

May 07 2024 73 mins

This week Sweet Valley is abuzz with the promise of a “Winter Carnival.” Unfortunately we get neither winter nor a carnival in this book. Instead, we have anxiety, anticipation, and a long lonely ride on a bus that is possibly driven by Santa. Luckily this gives us time for a diversion into the story of Robert’s experience on Jeopardy! Join us for “Bad Mood Holiday” (Swee

“The Identity and the Hairdo” (Sweet Valley High #32, The New Jessica)

Apr 30 2024 88 mins

Things are getting drastic in Sweet Valley this week—sick of being mistaken for her gorgeous sister, Jessica does the unthinkable: she dyes her hair black! Don’t worry, darling, she still looks amazing and is channeling European elegance to give the performance of a lifetime. Join us for a discussion of the semiotics of lifestyle, identical twin psychology, and so on, and so o

"The Bullet of the Duel” (Sweet Valley High #31, Taking Sides)

Apr 23 2024 87 mins

This week, we’ve got one of the hottest matchmaking duels of all time! What’s a matchmaking duel? No one knows. Even so, come for the introduction of one of the sexiest characters in modern literature (try to describe Jeffrey Froooonch without using the word “simmering,” we dare you), an exploration of philanthropy under late capitalism, and an anecdote about Robert being h

“Pascal’s Tennis Shop Schedule” (Sweet Valley High #30, Jealous Lies)

Apr 16 2024 85 mins

Robert’s in a devil-may-care mood today, and thankfully in Sweet Valley, the stakes couldn’t be lower. Sorority sabotage vis-a-vis tennis shop schedule, garden-variety sadistic dance floor pranks, and a hot new GAY hits the scene (no homo!). Join us for a wide-ranging discussion touching on the importance of reverse psychology, how it would feel to be “just a bet,” and when

“He’s 21 and Could You Just Let Him In” (Super Edition #4, Malibu Summer)

Apr 09 2024 75 mins

It’s (somehow?) suddenly summer in Sweet Valley, and no summer would be complete without hot days at the beach, cool nights spent with friends, and falling in love with a celebrity who is in a disguise that can, at best, be described as thin. Liz and Jess head to Malibu for the summer to help out with some kids, and they end up getting way more than they bargained for: a very wic

"Manufactured Lesbian Rivalry for Elizabeth’s Sexual Titillation” (Sweet Valley High #29, Bitter Rivals)

Apr 02 2024 81 mins

“Bitter rivals”—better titled “Indifferent Acquaintances”—make for strange bedfellows this week when Liz’s childhood friend Amy returns to Sweet Valley, throwing a wrench in Liz and Enid’s well-documented best friendship. …IS the paraphrasable content of this book. The real story can be found in the unarticulated yet palpable sexual tension underlying the interact

“A Little Shampoo Goes a Long Way” (Sweet Valley High #28, Alone in the Crowd)

Mar 26 2024 97 mins

Listener, have you ever felt like an ugly duckling who didn’t fit in? This week, we explore the deeply relatable story of Lynne Henry, who takes advantage of a strange loophole in a song contest to win the boy of her dreams and find her place in the sun. Join us as we find our voice this week in “A Little Shampoo Goes a Long Way” (Sweet Valley High #28, Alone in the Crowd).

“Danger, Intrigue, Romance, Mistaken Identities…J’adore!” (Sweet Valley High Special Edition #3, Spring Break)

Mar 19 2024 75 mins

Bon voyage! SVH goes transatlantic this week as our favorite twins swap homes with a glamorous and mysterious family in Cannes for Spring Break! But everything is not as it seems in this quaint, seaside town—will Liz and Jess be able to navigate the metaphorical (and at times, very literal) stormy waters ahead? Join us as we learn about ourselves and others through intercultural

“Hornystruck” (Sweet Valley High, #27 Lovestruck)

Mar 12 2024 83 mins

This week, our positively RIPPED quarterback Ken is hornystruck–oops, we mean lovestruck–with the glamorous and sophisticated Suzanne, and we watch him increasingly neglect his high-stakes English assignment in order to please her. As the deadline approaches, a plagiarism plot begins to percolate. Will Ken do the right thing? More importantly, will this uncultured rube ever le

“And Sometimes We Must Blame Victims” (Sweet Valley High, #26 Hostage!)

Mar 05 2024 79 mins

Picture it, the perfect crime: a beautiful teenager trapped in her mansion, used as a pawn in a deranged criminal’s corporate espionage, with only ONE WAY to escape: get up and walk out the door. Wait, actually, that’s an incredibly stupid crime that strains our credulity and makes Pardo ask, “when is it enough? Dayenu!” Join us as we bring this wobbly house of cards tumbli