ALFsplaining

"Willie suggests that they go to San Diego on vacation. Kate is all for it, but the family is unsure what to do with ALF." ALF and the Tanners on holiday in a tiny camper? Why the stink must be unbearable! Also: holiday adventures apparently just next to Christmas, a guest turn for some meat-enthusiast woodsman and a running ALF that has to be seen to be believed. Or he

"ALF buys a car for Lynn after the family car continues to be unreliable." Was it your dream to imagine our favourite Melmacian crusing down the freeway in a very expensive sports car bought for a teenager? Of course it was, you're just regular people like John Matthews and Ben Baker who navigate through the bees to bring you their reaction to this very strange episo

"For Willie's birthday, ALF gives him a box he found in the basement full of photos from high school and college. There is also a menu, on the back of which Kate and Willie both made lists of things they wanted to achieve in life. Kate actually did the things on her list, but Willie did not. This starts to haunt him so badly that he decides to do the list..." And Daddy Tanner will

"Lynn is excited because her boyfriend Scott wants to keep all his band equipment in the Tanners' garage. ALF is not happy because he was supposed to be redecorating his room with Lynn. And he also has a crush on Lynn, so he proceeds to sabotage Scott's time with Lynn while trying to come up with something to impress her..." Yeah, thats the premise and ooft, its a doozy. But does A

"Brian's 7th birthday is approaching and it gets ALF depressed because he realizes he is never going to see his friends on Melmac again — he was finally going to get together with his true love Rhonda and then the planet exploded." Innit typical? You finally get to snog on a lass and your whole civilization crashes into oblivion! Still, Ben Baker and John Matthews

In 1989, the German voice of Tommi Piper released an album that was to change the face of the world forever. "ALF - Alles Paradiso" took the world of our hairy pal one stage further with his musings on relaxing, doing very little, hanging about and, of course, becoming leader of the country. The tracks we look and listen at are from Side A of the original record and are

"ALF meets a blind woman named Jody" Nudge nudge, wink wink...its Willie and Kate's anniversary and apparently ALF isnt part of it. Ben Baker and John Matthews arent either but that gives them extra time to discuss spoiling Nicholas Nickleby, censored Chipmunks and whether the old ALFer watches the Tanners at it from the cupboard. Spoilers: he definitely does.

"To solve the Tanners' money problems, ALF gets a job selling make-up." Ben Baker and John Matthews are your special Terry Faith girls for this very strange episode which is sort of about pyramid selling but mostly about ALF giving facials. No, stop that. He's just trying to make a pound note!

"After ALF uses the shortwave radio to call the President about the nuclear disaster, and Willie gets blamed and is thrown in jail." Yeah that standard sitcom trope! Ben Baker and John Matthews sing hail to the chief as ALF sorts out the little hand on the world's doomsday clock. There's a famous voice guest too, plus some humourous terrorism fun and Tootsie on H

"When Lucky, the Tanner's family cat, disappears, ALF is accused of eating him. ALF must search for Lucky to prove his innocence." Welcome to ALFsplaining with Ben Baker and John Matthews - the programme that always has cat endangerment on mind. But only after ALF tidies up this goddamned mess, the risky businessman. But who is the real Fugitive in this situation...?