Bible Stories for Heathen Children

May 20 2021 55 ep. 19 mins 313

Bible Stories for Heathen Children Podcast artwork

I'm Robbie, and I tell family-friendly, fun, and somewhat irreverent retellings of Bible stories for kids who aren't already familiar with them. I couldn't find the stories told as myth without attempts at indoctrination, so I'm trying to do that. The audience I always have in mind for my stories are my two brilliant and sarcastic children, ages 8 and 9. Text versions will be posted for free at https://www.patreon.com/BSFHC .Subscribe to my Patreon for bonus content and early access to episodes! (My Patreon is currently on hold.) Make a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/robbiebsfhc.

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50 - Peter and Cornelius

May 20 2021 16 mins

This week, we continue the story of the early church in the book of Acts, focusing on Peter. Peter has a weird hunger dream and then gets a request for help from an unexpected source: a Roman centurion! He knows God is trying to tell him something -- but what?Support the show

49 - The Necromancer

Apr 01 2021 6 mins

In this special episode, Robbie tells the chilling story of an undead demigod with an insatiable thirst for souls & the power to raise an army of the dead. Free text version is available at patreon.com/bsfhc. Please consider becoming a Patron there as well, to help us keep the podcast going and to get access to Patron-exclusive bonus content!Support the show

48 - Nehemiah and the Evil Rich People

Mar 11 2021 20 mins

In this story, Nehemiah rallies the people to rebuild Jerusalem. Almost everyone helps build it except the rich people, who are too busy taking advantage of people's struggles to become even wealthier at their neighbors' expense. Nehemiah has a lot of work to do to protect against threats from both outside and inside the city.Free text version is available at patreon.com/bsfhc. Ple

47 - Esther

Feb 25 2021 26 mins

Today Robbie tells one of the most beloved Bible stories of all time: the story of Esther, the young queen who saved her people from destruction. Content note: In the original story there's an undercurrent of sexual violence and racial violence, and the story takes place in a culture that just isn't safe for ethnic minorities and women. We tried to keep this adaptation child-friend

46 - Paul the Apostle

Jan 28 2021 16 mins

This episode picks back up in the book of Acts, where Peter and the early church are excited to face a lot of persecution, mostly directed by a young man named Saul. Saul, also known as Paul, is very, very certain that he knows the true way to follow God and that those who disagree with him are not only wrong but dangerous. We’ll see whether that changes over the course of this s

45 - Samson

Jan 14 2021 37 mins

This episode is all about Samson, God’s one-man wrecking crew against the Philistines. Samson was not the wisest, but he definitely was the strongest -- at least, while his hair was long. It’s a story full of fighting, riddles, deception, and extreme recklessness.Free text version is available at patreon.com/bsfhc. Please consider becoming a Patron there as well, to help us kee

44 - Imposters Among Us: Shibboleths

Dec 31 2020 16 mins

This episode is about shibboleths! You may not know that word, but if you've heard of or played the video game "Among Us," you may already know the concept. We're telling the story of Jephthah the judge, a strong fighter who was terrible at diplomacy, made an impulsive promise that led to tragedy, and who is mostly known for his plan for identifying imposters.Free text version is a

43 - The Christmas Story LIVE!

Dec 17 2020 31 mins

In this episode, Robbie revisits the Christmas story (Gospel of Luke version) live with a studio audience! (OK, the studio audience consists of their spouse and kids...gotta maintain social distancing!)Free text version is available for most episodes at patreon.com/bsfhc. (Because this episode did not have a script, we unfortunately don't have a transcript. We're sorry about that!

42 - Elisha Makes Naaman Take a Bath

Dec 03 2020 15 mins

In this episode, commander Naaman from Aram goes to his enemy country in search of a miracle cure for his sickness, and the great prophet Elisha magically captures an entire army. King Joram provides comedic relief. Free text version is available at patreon.com/bsfhc. Please consider becoming a Patron there as well, to help us keep the podcast going and to get access to Patron-excl

41 - The Tower of Babel - Where Languages Come From

Nov 19 2020 17 mins

This week we tell the story of a group of people who got along so well and worked together so well that God decided they had to be stopped. Before that, we revisit the stories of God creating the world, Adam and Eve, and Noah’s Ark, so we can better understand how the Tower of Babel fits into the book of Genesis. And because the Tower of Babel is an origin story for languages, we