Gajok • 가족

People smile at me on the street way more as a pregnant woman than they did when I wasn't pregnant. I also rarely get sexually harassed by strange men on the street as a pregnant woman. Continuing to go on dates with your partner when you've been in a really long relationship is so important. The swelling of my hands, feet, wrists, and ankles is painful and uncomfortable, b

I'm still feeling the residual grief of Father's Day. I think I'm also feeling the anticipatory grief of the nine-month anniversary of 아빠's death, and his 64th birthday. The grief never goes away, but I feel like it has scabbed over, over the last nine months. And as these special days come up, the scab gets ripped off, and I start bleeding again. I'm not bl

Writing has always been my friend. Since I was a little girl, writing has been my way of making sense of the clutter of thoughts and feelings in my head. It's been my way of making sense of myself, my life, and the world. Writing is a lot like cleaning your apartment — your brain can get cluttered, and writing helps to get all of the thoughts and feelings out so you can see t

Complex-PTSD and grief are hard things to carry at the same time. When I'm feeling high levels of anxiety and fear, or when I'm feeling triggered, getting out of my mind and into my body is the best thing I can do for myself. Doing small, routine things that I don't have to think too much about helps me slowly make my way out of my overwhelming feelings. Lying in the gr

Grief lingers. It's sticky. Extra grief-heavy weeks can leave me feeling drained. I know that, even after Father's Day is over, the grief of it will stay with me for the following day, and probably a few days after that. How much sleep I get also heavily dictates where my mental and emotional state is, even if I'm not grieving, but in grief, sleep has a much greater eff

We recorded our sixth song of the year! And we freaking recorded so early! Today is 16 days before the end of the month! This was the best recording session that we've had so far. I love recording on a Friday. I love recording during the second week of the month. I'm really proud of us for successfully doing this recording, despite the week being difficult for us. And I'

I'm a part of this really cool project, created by St. Clair Detrick-Jules, where immigrants from all over the world share an object that they came to the U.S. with when they immigrated. For my object, I chose my mom's wedding rings. In Korea, at least in my parents' generation and before that, it was customary to give your wife two wedding rings that she would wear tog

My hands and feet are swelling. My fingers look like Vienna sausages. My rings don't fit anymore, so I've had to reconfigure how I wear my rings. I've pulled out an old ring and started wearing it because it's big enough to fit, when usually it's too big to wear on most of my fingers. The ring is one of my mom's two wedding bands — in Korea, you stack two

This is my first Father's Day without 아빠. Greg and I have made a tentative plan for Father's Day, both honoring him and my dad. Support our Podcast and Become a Patreon Member: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/jieunandgreg

It took a long time for me to feel comfortable to tell people I was pregnant. It was hard to navigate grieving a death, while creating a life. I had so many complex emotions come up during this grief-pregnancy journey. Also, I remembered the power of slowing down this weekend. When I slow down and look around, I notice everything that's always been there. I see things with new