Goodbye to All This

Dec 27 2020 13 ep. 1.2k
Goodbye to All This Podcast artwork

“I still love him and I miss him.” Losing the thing you are most sure of and coming out the other side - a story about life, love and loss. A 12-part memoir by Sophie Townsend.

  Society & Culture  Health & Fitness
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12. Moving

Dec 27 2020 32 mins  
He’s still here all the time. Yet he’s not. And a diary has more in it than expected. “I’ll feel his absence every day, like a bruise that’s tender to the touch.” A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

11. The shoe

Dec 20 2020 19 mins  
“She hates me going into her room”. A pink, strappy, high-heeled shoe causes a big row. The girls are growing up – fast. And now Sophie is crying over a shoe. A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

10. Appointment

Dec 13 2020 24 mins  
The washing machine breaks. The bills are mounting. Sophie almost electrocutes herself. And just as it couldn’t get any worse, it’s raining and there’s nowhere for the delivery men to park. Now she is going to be late for her appointment. A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

9. Something new

Dec 06 2020 29 mins  
“You’ll never find anyone if you’re not online.” Sophie is ready to start dating again but finds it’s done differently now. She meets a man who likes her shoes. A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

8. Going under

Nov 29 2020 31 mins  
“Mama, I can’t get to you!” There’s unexpected danger on a holiday, when the family is swept out to sea in Byron Bay, Australia. A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

7. Port in the storm

Nov 22 2020 25 mins  
“His death is nothing like the worst thing. The worst thing is now.” Sophie is struggling after Russell’s death. Everyone is trying to help, but is saying the wrong thing – except one person, who knows what it’s like because his wife has died. A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

6. The funeral

Nov 15 2020 21 mins  
Love, flashes of anger and remembering funny things. It's the first time Sophie has nothing to do except sit since her husband died. And she looks like Jackie Kennedy at JFK’s funeral. A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

5. The crowded goodbye

Nov 08 2020 34 mins  
“He was covered in flowers and looked so peaceful.” The children put them in his hair and all around him. They stroked his head and kissed him. “It was as though he could see Sophie and the girls were surrounded by lots of love. And he was surrounded by love. And perhaps Russell felt it was a safe time to go.” A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

4. Crashing waves

Nov 01 2020 36 mins  
“I’m sorry it’s not better news.” A hospital appointment feels like a polite break-up. Sophie and Russell are told nothing more can be done. A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service

3. Family portrait

Oct 25 2020 34 mins  
“Hold on, we think. Hold on.” A photo and a moment captured, trying to cling on, before it all begins. The cancer treatment starts and everyone wants to help. A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.