Pirates: Totalus Rankium

Apr 16 2025 10 ep. 82 mins 448
Pirates: Totalus Rankium Podcast artwork

Lighthearted history podcast ranking all of the Golden Age Pirates. Brought to you by the same people who created Roman Emperors Totalus Rankium and American President Totalus Rankium

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09 David Williams

Apr 16 2025 63 mins  
What happens when a Welsh farm boy is abandoned naked on the shore of Madagascar? Probably piratey shenanigans! Probably.

08 Samuel Burgess

Apr 02 2025 67 mins  
After having the good man of piracy with Halesy last time, we now go to the bad man of piracy. Was he a pirate? Was he a slaver? Find out!

07 John Halsey

Mar 19 2025 88 mins  
Who is John Halsey? Is he the nice man of piracy? Does he have a plan? Where did all the dragons come from? Find out in this episode!

06 Thomas White

Mar 05 2025 81 mins  
What to do with a pirate we are not 100% sure was real? Cover him anyway and hope for the best! Check out Bluesky and facebook to see the images connected to this episode. https://bsky.app/profile/totalusrankium.bsky.social/post/3ljl7gf5k2c24 https://bsky.app/profile/totalusrankium.bsky.social/post/3ljl7iflrb224

05 John Bowen

Feb 19 2025 112 mins  
Our pirate from last episode had a fellow pirate captain that he worked with. But was Bowen better than Howard? Did he take more ships? Did he instil more fear? Why should he look out for red fish? And does anyone know how to make a Tom Collins around here? Find out all the answers to these questions!

04 Thomas Howard

Feb 05 2025 95 mins  
We enter the dark ages of our series where the names are not so well known. We have only the general history to rely on but does this mean Howard will be dull? Or is he a hidden gem? Find out!

03 William Kidd

Jan 22 2025 105 mins  
Our third pirate is one of the most famous pirates of the time. He may not be too well known now, but back in pirate times he was up there with the best of them. But why? What makes Kidd so special? And more importantly, do we finally have a good ship name?

02 Thomas Tew

Jan 08 2025 86 mins  
Our second pirate is the aptly named Thomas Tew. We saw Tew in Avery's episode when Avery took command of the pirate fleet. But how did Tew do on the attack? And just how friendly was his ship? Find out!

01 Henry Avery

Dec 26 2024 81 mins  
So it begins! Join us as we look at the first pirate we will be covering. The pirate all other pirates wanted to be, the Robin Hood of the seas, it's Henry Avery! (or Every. or Everie. or... never mind, spelling was optional back then)

00 Ahoy Matey!

Dec 25 2024 47 mins  
Welcome to the introduction episode for Pirates: Totalus Rankium! We are going to be ranking all the Golden Age pirates found in The General History of Pirates. Join us as we lightheartedly look at each one in turn. 30 pirates, but which one is the best? Find out!