The ABCs of Bad Movies

Bounty Killer (2013)Director: Henry SaineStarring: Matthew Marsden, Kristanna Loken, Christian PitreIt's the seasonal "Alex and Jeff deep dive into the movie" episode. Who doesn't love those extra long ones, right? Alex and Jeff watch a Mad Max "homage." The boys discuss a potential alternate after the fact. The Australian accent comes in full force. Alex does the Jaws monologue. T

After Last Season (2009)Director: Mark RegionStarring: Jason Kulas, Peggy McClellan, Scott WintersAlex kicks off Season 2 by trying to find exactly what it will take to get Jeff to hate him, and he finds success in this choice. The boys attempt to comprehend the atrocious sets, lighting, acting, music, "CGI", and plots. This film sure has it all: MRI machines made of paper, paper s

Alex and Jeff rank the movies they've watched this season. Alex uses his feelings. Jeff uses numbers. They hope against hope that they'll agree on at least one movie. Will they? Maybe.

Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead (2011)Director: Noboru IguchiStarring: Arisa Nakamura, Maya Sugano, Asana MamoruAlex and Jeff close out season 1 with another Japanese experience. This time, it's a little different. Alex and Jeff do some bad voices and talk about a short film by the director. Watch your back, and be wary of doctors who offer you pasta.

Yakuza Apocalypse (2015)Director: Takashi MiikeStarring: Hayato Ichihara, Riko Narumi, Shô AoyagiJeff finds a gem in this action, horror, comedy from Japan. Vampires! Gangsters! Demons! Ear milk! They boys certify Yakuza Apocalypse as an ABCult film; check it out!

X: The Man with the X-Ray Eyes (1963)Director: Roger CormanStarring: Ray Milland, Diana Van der Vlis, Harold J. StoneJeff listens to consistent reminders that AIDS didn't exist in 1963. A doctor joins a circus after throwing a dummy out of a window. Jeff provides some space program trivia. Alex discusses a conspiracy theory about Pitbull. Jeff insists on a bad ending.

We Are What We Are (2013) Director: Jim Mickle Starring: Bill Sage, Ambyr Childers, Julia Garner Jeff sings several songs. A horde of guests join as Alex and Jeff wade through the incestuous, cannibalistic bog that is We Are What We Are. The peanut gallery stay and watch the movie. Chris, Donny, and some Muppets tag along.

Vehicle 19 (2013)Director: Mukunda Michael DewilStarring: Paul Walker, Naima McLean, Gys de VilliersAlex and Jeff have their friend, Luis, on the show. Jeff does some singing. Luis does some ASMR. The boys forget about the movie, and they do some space trivia for a while. Touchy Larry makes his first (and hopefully last) appearance. The boys find themselves diametrically opposed.

Ultraviolet (2006)Director: Kurt WimmerStarring: Mila Jovovich, Cameron Bright, Nick ChinlundRelations break down, and Jeff spits on Alex. Jeff discusses a class he had to take. The boys watch a very cool murder. The boys witness a gunkata master at work.

Troll 2 (1990)Director: Claudio FragassoStarring: Michael Paul Stephenson, George Hardy, Margo PreyAlex and Jeff lose the thread multiple times today. If you think they're only going to talk about pirates briefly at the start, you are thinking wrong. Alex loses the thread while editing and leaves everything in. Have fun!