The Roargasm: A Detroit Lions Podcast

Jan 20 2025 88 ep. 82 mins 2

The Roargasm: A Detroit Lions Podcast artwork

ROAR! The Roargasm! is a podcast about, you guessed it, The Detroit Lions! More specifically, this is a show about being a Detroit Lions die hard fan. Every week during the season, Dean Blandino, Impossible Lomas, and Uncle Brother discuss the state of Roar Nation and react to the latest game. We recite a new Lions prayer. We read from The Book of Jared. We perform musical tributes to the Honolulu Silver and Blue. We try not to suck massive donkey balls. And we generally go completely nuts. Join us, Lions Nation, as we roar ahead to victory!

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It's Over

Jan 20 2025 81 mins

As you might notice, I couldn't bring myself to include the score in this episode's title. If you're reading this, you know what happened. No need to agitate the wound. We open the final episode of a once-glorious season with "The Wreck of Ford Field," sung to the tune of "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald," setting the tone for the sad discussion

Bye Week Roar

Jan 15 2025 62 mins

Yes, it's a bye week, but The Roargasm never rests! We gather the Supreme Roar Council to review the wildcard games and look ahead to destroying the Cockmanders/Cuckmanderes/Commodore 64s this Saturday eve. We reckon that at home, against a rookie QB, with as many of our guys as possible back from injury, and with the coaching brain trust given a full two weeks to cook up somethi

Lions 31 - Viqueens 9: King in the North!

Jan 08 2025 134 mins

ROARRRRR! WE ARE KING IN THE NORTH! This jubilant and chaotic episode has it all: The one and only Fantetti beaming in from the Northwest Deano joining from the holy city of Jerusalem! And a full 2 hours of roarection-induced mania in the wake of the Lion's masterful and beguiling dismantling of the Viqueens to capture the NFC North title. We spend a lot of time marveling at the re

Lions 40 - 69ers 34: A Perfect Road Roar!

Dec 31 2024 105 mins

With Deano in the Holy Land, we are graced by the presence of Air Low AND the newly dubbed Hairestotle, aka Lil Air, whose flowing locks are indeed a sight to behold. We begin with a newly revealed chapter of The Book of Jared, which came to Uncle Brother in a dream. Air and Hair regale us with tales of their journey to Levi Stadium, a wicked place where the Roar had not won in man

Lions 34 - Care Bears 17: A Very Tricky Roar!

Dec 24 2024 103 mins

Ben Johnson is a goddman wizard. Chaotic neutral. His powers of creative deception are off the charts. In fact, there is no chart when it comes to this man's bag of tricks. We spend a good chunk of this pod marveling at the "stumble bumble" trick play, or whatever the hell it's called, just gobsmacked at the audacity of BJ, Jared, and Sonic to make it look like a fumble (or somethi

Lions 42 - Suckallo Billcocks 48: Sadness

Dec 17 2024 76 mins

What can we say? The Roargasm crew gets together in person, at Roar Manor (also known as Wallbrook West) in South Haven, MI, only to watch as Marvel Supervillain Josh Allen had his way with our 18th-string D, doing pretty much whatever the fuck he wanted. A 5-TD, 0-INT, nearly 500-yard game from Jared wasn't enough--the first time that's happened in the history of the damn league.

Lions 34 - Pecklers 31: Full Throated ROAR!

Dec 07 2024 95 mins

Banged up defense? No problem. Surging Pecklers squad out for revenge? No biggee. Going for it on 4th down when already in field goal range? Of course. And of course we got it, bled the clock, and won the game leaving zero time for the fucking Pecklers to mount a comeback. Lomas and Uncle Brother record Part 1 of the pod during halftime, when it seemed that the Roar was in total c

Lions 23 - Care Bears 20: A disconcertingly close Thanksgiving Roar

Nov 29 2024 92 mins

We are thankful for: --A rare Thanksgiving win --The Care Bears sucking massive turkey balls at the end of the game --The o-line and the Sonic/Knuckles ground attack, which remains unstoppable --DC, BH, BJ and the entire coaching staff --Penei for refusing to be tackled by the entire Care Bear's defense --Billy Sims and his 45+ BBQ joint locations --The Roar being 11-1 for the firs

Lions 26 - Dolts 6: Lomas Live Edition!

Nov 25 2024 116 mins

In this episode: --Lomas recounts wading into enemy territory, into the fetid bowls of the hellhole known as Lucas Oil Stadium, to support the Roar from way up in the fucking nosebleeds. Among hundreds, maybe thousands, of fellow Roaraholics! --We spend a little time on what was, as Deano put it, a ho-hum 18-point road win. Nothing flashy. No trick plays or record-setting performan

Lions 52 (!) - Jagoffs 6: A Roaring Bloodbath!

Nov 18 2024 124 mins

In this episode ... I mean, what's there left to say? The Roar did what they were supposed to do: beat the absolute shit out of one of the worst teams in the league. Jared returned to his MVP-level ways, pitching a pretty much perfect game. The People Mover moved people. Knuckles and Sonic did their thing. Sun God shined forth. Jamo was Jamo. Branch laid wood. Za'Darius got .5 of a