Nov 09 2022 41 mins
Join the Self-Love Mastery Program and get the tools needed to master your love life in just 8 weeks!
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Today, I am teaching you to break free of your patterns of codependency! If you are struggling to find balance in your relationship, it may be time to get to know yourself better and identify any low level behaviors that are limiting your capacity to love and receive love. It is easy to blame your partner when you’re frustrated in your relationship, but the truth is you have co-created the dynamic you feel trapped by. When you enter into a relationship with no boundaries, you inevitably begin to lose your identity each time you deny your desires in exchange for satisfying theirs. If you want to attract the man of your dreams you first need to become the woman of your own dreams because you are your first and best choice. Codependency is a direct result of devaluing yourself. Today, I remind you that you are worthy, your desires are valid and you hold all the love you need. Once you've changed the narrative of your own life you will attract men who understand and respect your boundaries. Healthy relationships thrive when each person's desires are met and no one person is above the others. Today, you will recode your nervous system and recalibrate yourself to a higher frequency of love and light!
Key Takeaways:
[3:20] Breaking patterns of codependency
[4:08] The difficulty of operating in your masculine energy within a relationship
[5:00] Triggering the parts of you that feel unlovable
[6:40] Putting aside your own needs without any boundaries
[7:40] Learning to recognize your codependent tendencies
[8:10] Internalizing that you are lower or less than
[9:05] Nervousness is a sign you have no secure attachment to yourself
[10:00] Presenting yourself in the best light to avoid intimacy
[10:20] Hiding the parts of yourself you’ve deemed unlovable
[12:20] Avoiding the full experience of yourself
[12:50] You are your first and best choice
[13:20] Taking radical responsibility over your desires
[15:40] Elevate yourself and accept that you are the prize
[15:50] Breaking into an interdependent relationship
[17:50] Claiming your desires as worthy
[19:30] Not accepting low level behavior from yourself
[23:00] Forgiving yourself for your own low standards in relationships
[24:14] Start fresh and acknowledge your own humanity
[25:30] Redirecting your energy to your own aspirations!
[28:10] Shifting your narrative to worthiness
[30:30] Knowing your energy is a precious resource
[31:30] Creating a filtration system based on your standards
[34:30] Healthy relationships thrive when each person follows their own passions
[36:00] Dating is a vehicle to discover how you want to be
[37:10] Take pleasure in the process!
[38:30] You need to meet yourself first and decide that you are worthy!
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Memorable Quotes:
“When we tend to put the person first, their needs, their desires, what they’re thinking before we’ve even established relationship agreements, before we’ve even established if we’re dating or even in a relationship; women will tend to, because of our nurturing nature, focus upon the other person.We will love them more than we love ourselves and that’s a huge key of codependency.” [5:42]
“We can present and posture ourselves in the best position and light possible ;however, does that truly create a deep level of intimacy? The majority of the time, if not every time , the answer is no.” [9:55]
“Why do the radical responsible thing and put yourself first, choose yourself first, your desires, your goals, your own inner work in order to become your best first choice because it’s easier to look on the outside.” [13:30]
“It is easier to blame them and be disappointed in them than it is to take dominion and ownership on, like holyfuck!, this is actually my low level behavior! I’m accepting these breadcrumbs because that’s what I'm thinking I’m worthy of.” [22:15]
“You’re wasting energy waiting. You ain’t got time for this, my loves! This is where you recode yourself with worthiness and you develop the discipline of redirecting your focus and your energy to you! You have so many dreams and aspirations that can use this energy!” [25:30]
“In a healthy relationship, that is interdependent, wants you to have your own passion, wants you to have your own hobbies, your own joys that light you up because they know that you bring that to the relationship.” [34:10]
“You can have a radically different experience in dating, if you use dating and relating as a vehicle to help you learn more about who you’re being and who you desire to be.” [36:15]